Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Please or to access all these features

Nurseries

Find nursery advice from other Mumsnetters on our Nursery forum. For more guidance on early years development, sign up for Mumsnet Ages & Stages emails.

My 3 year old hates nursery!? :(

9 replies

user1495827045 · 10/10/2021 18:20

Our 3 year old daughter (turned 3 in September) has just started one full day a week at nursery. She loved her trials which were a couple of hours but now she has to go properly she seems to hate it. We can't mention it beforehand because otherwise she bursts into tears and says she doesn't want to go and wants to stay at home. Once she is there she has to go to an adult for a cuddle as she cries or the other week she went with the adult but her lower lip was wobbling and I knew she would cry. I have turned up two weeks on the Trot and I can hear her cry as soon as I go upstairs and then she runs up to me for a cuddle. She has been ok and Nursery said she was fine but last week she had to stay with the same member of the staff and apparently was very tearful and wanted to hold hands and have cuddles the whole time. Nursery have been brilliant and said maybe she doesn't like the room she is in and now she is 3 she can move into the much bigger pre school room (she was meant to start in there but as she wasn't quite 3 we got told she would have to go upstairs for a few weeks) the manager said sometimes children just don't like the upstairs room and prefer the bigger space and stimulation. They said she is bright so would be good to go into pre school as she understands what is being said to her and is chatty. They said she is a really kind little girl towards her peers but just seems very clingy and tearful when there (she can be shy when we are out and about).
I have thought about swapping her to two half days so she is there more often than once a week as worried come January when her funding begins (which will then be 3 days a week) she will hate it even more.
Has anyone else experienced this and any advice? Feeling so anxious and guilty about it x

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
LakeShoreD · 10/10/2021 18:28

It might be the one day a week thing. I’ve used 3 different nurseries with my 2 and none allowed less than 3 half days per week because according to them kids tend not to settle properly. Which thinking about it does make sense- one day a week isn’t very frequent yet they’re still expected learn the routine and build relationships with the staff/other children. If you don’t need it for childcare can you just pull her out until the funded hours kick in in Jan?

Orangejuicemarathoner · 10/10/2021 18:30

I agree that one day a week is disruptive, and not giving her any chance to settle

Orangejuicemarathoner · 10/10/2021 18:30

Do you work one day a week? Is that why she is there?

user1495827045 · 10/10/2021 19:11

I work nights so need at least some sleep before my next shift. We would have waited to put her into nursery but unfortunately our mother in law got funny about taking her anymore and said we should be sending her to nursery. I did suggest she do two half days to the manager but she said she didn't think it would make that much difference and to persevere. Are we doing her harm in sending her for one day a week? I.e will it affect how she settles for her 3 days in January? Feeling rubbish now :(

OP posts:
LakeShoreD · 10/10/2021 19:19

Don’t feel rubbish, you won’t be damaging her! It’s almost certainly just because she’s not there often enough to know what’s going on and she’s just confused. More half days might be better. Could you stretch to 3? If not try 2 maybe and see if it improves. Alternatively have you considered a childminder? Especially given she’s not going that frequently it might be easier for her to settle in a homely environment as it’ll be more familiar.

lovecoffee1 · 04/11/2021 22:32

It’s just my opinion but I really do think if she went in more she would settle a lot quicker. None of the nurseries near me accepts children for 1 day for this reason. They spend 6 days with you and then go in just once a week that’s too long a time that she’s not in. My daughter only has been going to nursery for 2 years now on 2 x consecutive days and I am about to increase it to 3 days as she still cries on the first day I drop her off but on second day she’s totally fine. For her 5 days of not going in is just too long so she finds it all a bit overwhelming

lovecoffee1 · 04/11/2021 22:33

Sorry for all the errors ! Way pass my bedtime

lovecoffee1 · 04/11/2021 22:37

January is just round the corner so don’t beat yourself up about it . I don’t think it will affect how she settles in jan .

Psychgrad · 12/11/2021 23:12

I really can’t stand nurseries, I worked in them before and the majority of them are under stimulating, overcrowded and understaffed. Could you hire a young, fun babysitter to take her out to activities/ parks while you get some rest? She’d probably prefer one-one attention.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page