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Original poster

Do nursery help with wiping bum?

14 replies

apric0t · 05/10/2021 23:35

My LO has just turned 3 and finally gotten the hang of doing both poos and wees in the toilet. Previously when at nursery, she has been holding her poo all day and then doing it when she gets home. Today on Monday she did a poo at nursery in the toilet and I noticed big skid marks in her knickers when she came home. All fine I thought, today however there is massive skid marks all over her knickers and her bum is really sore so seems like she has been left to wipe her own bum but surely someone should be helping her with that.

He bum was really red and sore and she was really embarrassed letting us clean her up tonight in the bath. I am disgusted to think so much poo has been sat in her knickers for god knows how long.

Shouldn't the nursery be helping her wipe her bottom?

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1AngelicFruitCake · 05/10/2021 23:37

Depends if this is private or school? Private I think are more likely to help. School expect more independence. Mention it snd that she needs help and they should talk her through it but they’ll expect her to ask for help.

MistyFrequencies · 05/10/2021 23:38

We sent a little pack of wet wipes in with mine at that age. Nursery didn't help but she couldn't quite do it herself, wet wipes helped a lot.

Ozanj · 05/10/2021 23:41

Nurseries that use teachers (the ones attached to schools) usually don’t help. They should have made those expectations really clear though.

Original poster
apric0t · 05/10/2021 23:47

This is the same independent nursery she has been at since she was 18 months, she's just gone into the preschool room. They've been with her through the whole potty training journey so I'm surprised that two weeks ago she was wearing nappies and now all of a sudden they expect her to be cleaning herself independently. We still send her every day with spare pants and a pack of baby wipes.

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Original poster
apric0t · 05/10/2021 23:49

Also makes me thing if no one is helping her in the loo are they even checking she's washed her hands????

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Ozanj · 05/10/2021 23:51

Complain then. Proves they either aren’t paying enough attention to her to know when she has pooed (red flag) or they are using the wipes you send on another child.

Original poster
apric0t · 05/10/2021 23:53

Yes I will be having a word tomorrow, just wanted to check if this was a normal or not!

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Lockdownbear · 05/10/2021 23:56

I'd have a word, if she's just moved rooms and potty trained at the same time they might have missed the information that she needs help.

ImustLearn2Cook · 06/10/2021 00:02

@apric0t If she’s just transitioned to the preschool room then there may have been a lack of communication regarding how recently she has toilet trained and the level of support she needs. (This really shouldn’t happen but sometimes it does). The preschool teacher or nursery staff in her new room might be unaware, so have a conversation with them.

Some nurseries will not transition a child who has turned 3 into the preschool room until they are completely independent with toileting. So, maybe they transitioned her too early.

Was she suddenly moved into the preschool room or was it a more gradual process where the child visits and plays in the preschool room each day for increasing time frames?

Holidaytan · 06/10/2021 00:07

It’s more likely she’s taking herself off to the toilet and not telling anyone/asking for help. And no, she won’t be washing her hands…… she needs to be encouraged to ask for help.

ImustLearn2Cook · 06/10/2021 00:09

And no it is not normal to leave a child in pants that have poo or wee in them. It is normal for staff to help children with toileting accidents. However, sometimes it may be missed if it’s not obvious or the child hasn’t felt comfortable telling the teacher.

Original poster
apric0t · 06/10/2021 00:12

Yeah she had been visiting the preschool room every day and was really excited to go up there. She had been trying to use the potty while still in the lower room and was still in nappies when she moved up a month ago and since then has stopped wearing nappies and has been accident free at nursery for about 2 weeks but hadn't yet done a poo. (She's in preschool 3 days a week)

The key worker from the lower room was really on the ball and gave detailed notes about her day but in the new room it's always a new face bringing her out and sometimes they say she had hot dinner when she has packed lunch, or says she's had ham sandwich as a snack when she's veggie and then said something like "oh well I wasn't actually with her at tea time" seems like a bit of a free for all in the preschool room perhaps, OH is going to mention it tomorrow when he drops her off and then I will follow up with an email too! Thanks all 😊

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Lockdownbear · 06/10/2021 00:15

I would just have a word, rather than risk getting backs up right away.

Original poster
apric0t · 06/10/2021 00:21

@Lockdownbear

I would just have a word, rather than risk getting backs up right away.
Yeah exactly, just a little reminder tomorrow that she needs some help with wiping and washing her hands at the moment, and hopefully it won't be like that again. I didn't expect her pants to be totally spotless after going to the toilet as earlier in the week there was a skid mark but I thought hey she's just learning so surely that's to be expected but honestly there is so much in her pants today, it doesn't look like she went in her pants and nobody noticed, it's a massive skid mark (so sorry about the details folks) and she's really sore at the front too. So hopefully we will give them a polite reminder and it won't happen again
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