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Am I overreacting?

13 replies

Sb1007 · 17/09/2021 10:47

My 2 year old has been at nursery for 3 months now. He only goes for two afternoons at the moment. When he first started he struggled to settle in and play with other children. His key worker explained he had been rough a few times, we kept an eye on this and one month in he had settled down and was all positive. He had a review and all positive feedback that he had settled in well and playing with other children. I was made up.

Fast forward to two weeks ago and it seems anytime I pick him up I am getting negative feedback. A new nursery room leader has joined and brought him out to me at home time explaining that he had flooded the bath room and doesn’t listen and how’s his speech. Questioning what he’s like at home and that they’ll just work on that. I don’t think a 2 year old should be left on his own to have the ability to flood a bathroom. She also didn’t even introduce herself to me as we’d never met.

His dad has picked him up other times and when his Key worker is in and hands over there is nothing said and he’s been a delight. Yesterday I picked him up again and when she brought him out she said he was being handsy with the other children and climbing on everything and not listening. At home and at social events he is great with other kids, is playful and honestly a great wee boy so this is a shock to me. I explained this and again she said they’d just continue to work on this. He had a bump on his head and red marks which she shrugged off that it had just happened and frankly wasn’t even going to mention it, barely explaining what had happened.

I found her tone was judgy and patronising each time speaking with me. It’s quite difficult to speak properly at the steps of the nursery when there are loads of other parents around and she has her bag on her back ready to leave. I don’t know if I’m overreacting in being annoyed at this situation. He is only 2 years old, has spent majority of his life at home with just myself and his dad and is learning. Yes he can be a handful and doesn’t listen all the time but is that not normal? I’m worried I’m taking it too personally but then I worry if I don’t say anything I’m doing right by my son.

Should I approach the nursery about this?

OP posts:
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FortunesFave · 17/09/2021 11:30

It's a little confusing to work out who you're talking about when you mention both the new leader and the keyworker. If I've got it correct, the keyworker said recently he'd been 'handsy' and climbing and not listening...and this is after she'd previously said he'd settled down a lot?

OR was it the leader who said he was handsy?

If so, it seems you're getting mixed messages about him....I would make an appointment with them to discuss further. Ask for both the keyworker and the leader to be present at the meeting.

Ask them directly if they have any concerns about his development. Do you have any concerns yourself? Or are you happy with it? How close to three is he?

Is his language OK?

Sb1007 · 17/09/2021 13:55

Sorry first time poster! 😓 The new leader has been giving negative feedback, said he’s being handsy etc. The feedback from key worker has been positive.

I don’t have any concerns myself, he’s only turned 2 in July and it was mentioned when he started he was one of the youngest in his room. He can definitely be a handful at times but never anything I thought to be an issue

His speech is progressing lots since he started and each week i see massive improvements. In no way

OP posts:
LadyDanburysHat · 17/09/2021 13:57

At just turned 2 it is perfectly normal not to have great speech. It's also normal not to know how to play with other children. And I'm with you on the bathroom thing, why was he even able to do it? It does seem she is very negative, and doesn't understand how young he is.

Foolsrule · 17/09/2021 13:59

He sounds like a typical 2 year old. He shouldn’t have been using the bathroom unsupervised, certainly not for long enough to cause a flood. Not mentioning the injury would raise red flags for me, it’s just not good practice. Your gut is telling you something is wrong so move him.

NuffSaidSam · 17/09/2021 14:04

It doesn't sound like a great nursery to me.

The lack of supervision in the bathroom is completely unacceptable. I know it's unlikely, but he could have slipped and hit his head/drowned. Young children unsupervised around water is just not acceptable. The fact that they allowed it to happen is bad, the fact they then reported it to you as if it was your child's fault and not a massive error on their part is outrageous.

FortunesFave · 17/09/2021 23:07

At just two I agree that he's bound to be still working on speech and agree that being left alone in bathroom is a massive red flag.

WetWeekends · 17/09/2021 23:12

@NuffSaidSam

It doesn't sound like a great nursery to me.

The lack of supervision in the bathroom is completely unacceptable. I know it's unlikely, but he could have slipped and hit his head/drowned. Young children unsupervised around water is just not acceptable. The fact that they allowed it to happen is bad, the fact they then reported it to you as if it was your child's fault and not a massive error on their part is outrageous.

I very much agree with this. Terrible practice for a nursery. I’d be looking for alternative childcare OP.
unvillage · 18/09/2021 00:00

I'd be really concerned about the bump on his head and other red marks that had apparently "just happened" that wasn't going to be mentioned. You should know how and when any injury occurred. A head bump is of particular concern, even if it "just happened" in my setting we would fill out a number of forms about it even if that meant their parent was waiting or a staff member couldn't leave right on time.

Yesterday22 · 19/09/2021 15:33

Why is he using the bathroom? Is he potty trained and going unsupervised?
It seems really odd for any childcare professional to expect a little one to play well with other children, follow instructions and have developed speech at 2 years and 2 months. I agree with previous poster that a meeting would be a good start to talk things through.

Jode1990 · 19/09/2021 15:43

Hi, I actually work in a nursery and what you have explained personally I would be appalled if my staff was to use the word "Handsy" and to continuously be given negative feed back.

First yes you should 100% approach the nursery regarding the feedback and any accidents or incidents that happen, parents should always be notified and explanations on circumstances that's happened for them to go into the accident book, all bumps marks cuts bruises should be recorded especially the head even without any markings!

Secondly I would ask to speak with key worker and another person present aka manager/deputy manager you don't know if the managers are aware of how feedback is going at times. With this meeting express your concerns of your child and the feed back your getting and how it is making you feel; they should know that all feedback should be done sensitively any way. Your child is only 2years 2 months what the hell do they expect!

Hope your ok and seriously monitor your nursery.

Jode1990 · 19/09/2021 15:45

Ps yes lack of bathroom supervision is a huge concern meaning staff are not paying attention and are at fault straight away there

simonisnotme · 19/09/2021 18:33

doesnt sound a good nursery
head bumps/marks should be recorded in accident book and bump letter given to you, lack of supervision allowing him to 'flood' the bathroom is not on. at 2 and a bit they need supervising everywhere and being told hes 'handsey' is wrong,
arrange a meeting with the lead/manager and see what they say

RLG123 · 23/09/2021 16:09

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