Nursery not offering naps

[TubbyCustard88]

Hi everyone! Sorry for the long post, but I really need some advice!

My twin boys have just turned 3 and have moved up into the preschool room at nursery. They are great sleepers and up until now they almost always had a decent 1hr+ nap in the day (at nursery or home), and still happily went to bed at 7:30pm every night.

As they were preparing to move rooms, I was told that the preschool room doesn't have a designated nap time or space (understandable as I guess the oldest children there are nearly 5 and about to start school), but children would of course be offered quiet time if the parents requested it.

Well, I have requested that they continue to be given naps, and was met with the bewilderment and exasperation as though I had asked them to cut my boys toenails and give them a bath! I am personally quite surprised that it isn't seen as pretty normal for a just-turned-3yo to still want/need a nap, and have been made to feel like I'm being a bit of an overbearing parent for wanting them to have one.

As a result, my boys have been hideously cranky when they finish nursery and they have both been having really bad nights sleep which is only making things worse. They are also near-impossible to get out of bed on a morning and me and dh have now been late to work a couple of times as a result. Other routines like potty training have, of course, gone out of the window. We have been trying to get them to bed earlier, but that means pretty much getting them into bed within half an hour of picking them up from nursery, which is a bit pants for them and us, and often ends up being unachievable anyway.

Is it normal for nurseries to be like this? Is there anything I can do? Am I being unreasonable? Any advice is welcome!

It's the same at my DC nursery, though I think if they can make it work with the staff ratios they just send any sleepy preschoolers into the 2-3 room for a nap. It's probably a staffing issue.

We had the opposite problem in that DS dropped his nap at home age 2.5 but they insisted on keeping on giving him one at nursery which made him not go to bed till 9.30 at night. After a bit of probing it turned out they couldn't send him into the preschool room at nap time due to Covid rules and didn't want to tie up a staff member entertaining him in his room while the rest of his room slept.

Hi OP,

I work at a nursery and honestly this is bad practice. If your boys need a nap, they should get naps. It isn't up to the nursery staff, it's up to you.

I'm sorry your poor boys are so exhausted and it must be difficult for you too! Can they go back to the younger room purely for naps? If they have enough staff within ratio this should be possible to just get them down there and back up. Difficult though as PP said because of bubbles. But it's awful that your boys aren't getting a nap. They may get used to it, but they're so little! All children are different. I know 4.5 year olds who still get exhausted especially when poorly so having no designated nap space seems really off to me.

Can you have a word with the manager and ask if you can discuss a solution? Fingers crossed it's sorted soon!

I went through the same bewilderment when I moved back to the U.K. with my just turned 3YO. At her old daycare it was state law that all children had a dedicated nap space and they had children as old as 5 there as the US starts school a year later! Her class all did 2 hours on floor beds. Then her British school nursery seemed confused that she was falling asleep on the carpet after lunch and the nap was very quickly dropped as there was no proper sleep space or quiet time. We had a few weeks of crankiness where she was in bed by 6pm but then she just adjusted! If the other children in the preschool room are all doing fun activities the boys may not even want to go off somewhere quiet on their own for a nap. I’d be inclined to ride it out, have an early bedtime and I’m sure they will adjust soon.

NHS guidelines say a 3 year old children should have 40 minutes sleep per day. Maybe you can approach it using the NHS guidance

It's normal for 3+ rooms not to have a provision for naps.
You could ask if they could be sent back to the toddler room for nap time - however be prepared that if they are disruptive or resistant to napping then nursery won't want to do this as it disturbs the toddlers' naps!

When DD moved up to the preschool room they didn't have a 'nap' scheduled in anymore, but they do quiet time / relaxation where they lie on yoga mat type things. If any kids fall asleep during that then they chuck a blanket over them and leave them to sleep.

DD doesn't nap anymore, but there was never any problem if she fell asleep. If she was looking particularly tired they'd encourage her to have a lie down.

In fact, she dropped her nap at home ages before she stopped napping at nursery, which was a bit of a pain as it got to the point that she'd be awake till midnight if she'd had a nap!

Agree that it happens. But that it’s crazy. My DC both stoped napping at 4 and one of them was still napping regularly right up to starting school. A decent nursery accommodates this at 3.

We would offer naps at parent request but it isn't offered as a rule in the preschool room. Generally it's common for them to naturally drop them around three although some still need alternate nap days etc for a little while.