Clingy baby starting nursery...

[Ummumm]

I have a very clingy 10 month old, he has been this way since he's been born really. Will cry if I leave the room, won't stay with other members of family for long. For this reason I have never really left him longer then an hour or so and that's usually after I've put him down for a nap or something so majority of the time I'm gone he's sleeping.

Anyway, he's starting nursery in a couple of months and will have just turned 1 by then. It's two full days (the days I work) but I'm so worried about how he'll be. Anyone got any tips or even just some reassurance that he'll be fine.

I had a Koala baby and he still is at 16 months. He started nursery at 10 months but he is absolutely fine there- happily walks up to staff and waves goodbye.
Always very happy to see me. He goes in 3.5 days per week and spends Thursdays with my mom.
I've noticed his development has come on leaps and bounds since starting nursery. We did a few settling in sessions and boom he loved them.

Just drop and run is the best advice.

If you have time, get him used to you leaving and returning now. So leave him with family when he's awake. Drop and run, show no emotion.

Also get him used to it in the home. So leave the room and don't run back to him straight away. Go out of sight and wait before coming back. He needs to learn you will always come back. Which he can't do if you never leave.

As an early years practitioner my advice would be the same as @Deloresabernathy. Drop and run. It's easier for parents and easier for staff.

I can guarantee you that 99% of children calm down within 5 minutes.

My own dd was terrible and I started leaving her with a friend for 5mins then upped to 10mins until she was being left for an hour. She always cried when I dropped her off but quickly settled.

My DS was the same. Due to lockdowns and family being far away, he spent his whole first year with either me or his dad or both. He started nursery just after his first birthday. It took a few weeks but he loves it now - toddles in without a backwards glance. I love being back at work and having my independence. As PP said, DS development has come on leaps and bounds since being there.

My advice would be...

To begin with, keep drop off really quick and don't show any emotion. I'd burst into tears when I got round the corner, but DS never saw that!

If you have any concerns, then speak honestly to the nursery manager about them and work them through together. They can only help if they know there's a problem and they are on your side. You're not complaining or being difficult by being honest.

Expect your DS to get a bit ill to begin with. It's part of the process as they adjust to being around more people than they are used to. If work won't be sympathetic to you taking time off, have a plan b for sick days. This will reduce stress all round when they inevitably happen.

Give it time and persevere. At about week 3, I was almost ready to give up as it was making us both miserable. It's month 4 now and I am so so glad we persevered.

Good luck!

Aww thank you all for the responses that makes me feel a bit better. I have started leaving him a bit and plan to go out for a couple of hours child free!

I'm a childminder and honestly he will be fine. I have 3 kids and the third was so clingy so I know it's heartbreaking to see him get upset, and you worry that they do that all day, but they don't. I know they don't because I've been through it with minded children loads of times, but I still worried that my own child was upset all day. He will settle even if he cries everytime you leave him, he will still eventually come to realise that nursery is fun, and he quite likes it.

I worry about him getting ill too as I don't think he has the best immune system anyway I feel like he's always falling ill every other week.