Breastfed Baby at Nursery

[LGBirmingham]

Hi all,

I'm perhaps worrying about this unduly as my son doesn't start nursery for another 4 months. However I'm concerned at how they will get him to eat and sleep enough whilst he's there.

He's mostly fed to sleep by me for naps and held or I lie next to him in bed and sleep too. Or he sleeps in the pushchair for my mum and husband. I have for a while been doing this thing where you unlatch him before he's fully asleep and then he falls asleep on my lap, sometimes sort of singing to himself. But not sure they will be able to recreate that at nursery? I'm sure they won't have the time to take him for a walk for an hour either!

My husband looks after him for about half a day once a week whilst I'm at university and he used to be fine with bottles but recently he's started hardly drinking any of the bottle and just waiting til I get home. I'm worried if he will eat enough at nursery. He's 6 months and we have started solids but the quantity he eats is tiny. Most of it goes everywhere but his tummy!

Has anyone had the same issues as us and got any advice. If there are any strategies I could try for either issue now before he goes I'd like to hear them.

Thanks

He is going to change so much in 4 months! Try not to worry too much. My daughter starts nursery in two weeks (9 months old) and I'm in a similar position so I've been getting other people's input. I have spoken to so many people about their experiences and they say that nursery workers are like magic...their child might only feed to sleep/contact nap at home but somehow at nursery, will be happy to lay in a cot and be patted to sleep. Babies are so so adaptable.

Re the bottle - have you tried cup feeding? We can give my daughter expressed milk in a baby cup and she'll drink it if we hold it for her 🙂 you could start practising now. Also, many bf babies will hold out during the day and then just drink loads in the morning and evenings/night. Less sleep but a nice way to reconnect I suppose!

Thanks for the reply @otterbaby. It's reassuring I'm not the only one in this position. I used to be able to sush pat him to sleep myself but the 4 month sleep regression put pay to that. Maybe he will do that again for someone else?

We are giving him water in a sippy cup at the moment but there's quite a lot that comes out of his mouth and goes down his front! But I guess by 4 months time he might be more adept at that and able to take milk in that way?

Can I ask if you will be expressing milk at work? My work would be supportive but I work in design and to very tight deadlines. I can't see myself finding 20 mins several times a day to express milk. I used to often work through most of my lunch getting drawings out.

My daughter was the same with the cup around that age but she's improved so much in just a few months.

I actually invested in an elvie pump because it's wireless so you can just pop it into your bra. My plan is to close my door to place it in but once you're pumping, you can just carry on working as normal. It might be worth looking into!

4 months is a long time. He will be nearly twice his current age.

DD1 was cuddled or rocked in a pushchair asleep. Nursery rocked her in her pushchair for a couple of weeks and then they got her to sleep in a cot. I never managed the cot with her at home. Nursery staff have some kind of amazing sleep wand.

Thanks for the replies both. I hadn't thought about continuing to pump milk whilst working @otterbaby. I suppose that could be an option. My son is seeming better with his cup already which is reassuring given we still have a few months to go as well.

@Fitforforty I keep hearing about these magical sleep inducing skills nursery staff have but I do worry that my son will be the exception. It's so hard for me to get him to sleep you see! And if I leave him sleeping on his own it's usually going to be a very short nap. Was your daughter like that or did she sleep ok at home?

Honestly, your son will not be the exception.

DD started nursery at 18 months. She still contact napped and was a complete pain to get to sleep. Napped at nursery no problem.

DS started nursery at 13 months (he's 18 months now). Contact naps at home, either fed or rocked to sleep depending on what we're doing, but just goes to sleep on a sleep mat in nursery. He's still breastfeeding but is fine without at nursery. At 10 months I wouldn't be particularly concerned if he's not having any milk during the day, he'll have enough in the morning and evening.

@LGBirmingham

Thanks for the replies both. I hadn't thought about continuing to pump milk whilst working *@otterbaby*. I suppose that could be an option. My son is seeming better with his cup already which is reassuring given we still have a few months to go as well.

@Fitforforty I keep hearing about these magical sleep inducing skills nursery staff have but I do worry that my son will be the exception. It's so hard for me to get him to sleep you see! And if I leave him sleeping on his own it's usually going to be a very short nap. Was your daughter like that or did she sleep ok at home?

No she never slept well at home until she was nearly 4. Horrific at home. I would spend hours a day trying to get her to sleep and she never slept in a cot for me.

I breastfed my DD to sleep and she started nursery at 9 months. It took a couple of weeks but she started to go to sleep easily for nursery. Nursery recommended introducing a comforter which helped. I still bf to sleep on my days off.

My daughter has been going to nursery for just over 2 months now. She is 1. She was breastfeeding through the day and very used to sleeping in a pitch black room with white noise for her naps.

She had a rough first 2 weeks, she wouldn't nap very well, ate very little, refused to drink any cows milk (as I can't express) and just generally took a while to settle.

However now generally has 2 good naps, eats all her lunch and just breastfeeds before and after nursery. She very happy and loves it.

I was like you and worried about it early on. Please don't let it ruin your next few months with your baby, they will be perfectly fine!

I remember this anxiety, my two were BFd to sleep, my first I just couldn't see how it would all work. Especially as they both basically played with, rather than ate food until the were more than a year old - 14/15 mo. And I could pump to save my or indeed their lives. But my DP started taking the 2nd out for the day when she was just 8mo. She didn't eat much with him, drank some water, played with food and made up for the BF overnight. She was totally content with this and I remember marvelling at the whole thing, the way I'd not thought it was possible to leave my son and maintain BF. When people say kids are adaptable, they really really are. They may not adapt to no bfing to sleep with you in the room. But once you are not they are happy to consider the alternatives!

If you don't train him to sleep in a cot before nursery, they will train him to sleep in a cot there.
I preferred to get mine sleeping in a cot at home where they were comfortable first, but some people prefer to let nursery do it.

I used to work in a baby room and most children adapt within a few weeks - there was the occasional exception who never napped at nursery or would fall asleep after 20 minutes patting and crying and then be awake again within 10 minutes, but they survived! They tended to be babies who had only slept being fed or held at home and then started nursery part time at 12-14 months when those habits are harder to change. A baby under 9 months who goes to nursery full time will adapt quicker.
And when they move into the toddler room at 2 and all have a nap after lunch at the same time, everyone would sleep at least 30 minutes.

Mine were all fine in childcare and were rocked and cuddled to sleep. None had expressed milk, they just bf when I was there and had food and water when I wasn't. It wasn't a problem.

Have you considered all your childcare options? You might find you feel more confident with a childminder rather than a nursery. Or you could investigate different nursery settings, for example near me there is a forest school type nursery and they happily have the little ones in slings while they do activities so they are really part of the family and of course get gently rocked to sleep.

Hi all,

This is very reassuring generally thank you. I think the thought of him being left to cry himself to sleep at nursery has been at the back of my mind, despite them assuring me that they don't do that. He suffered terribly with Silent Reflux until about a month ago when it just disappeared. It was so hard laying him flat the cot was very difficult for naps, he'd just wake up gagging, weirdly okish at night though.

Hopefully nursery will get napping ok. My nursery actually use mats on the floor in their sleep room @zoeydollie hopefully he won't be crying for 20 mins being sush patted to sleep to just wake after 10 mins. That's what used to happen when I tried to sush pat him to sleep. It broke my heart and I realised life was too short to spend more time putting a baby to sleep than they spent sleeping!

When I sent my 12 month old to nursery 3 days a week he was breastfed and rocked to sleep . I thought there was no way he would be napping at nursery . I was shocked when nursery told me he was a great little napper. I asked how they got him to sleep and they told me he just fell asleep on his own 🤷‍♀️😯 He’s 2.5 now and nursery has been great for him . It’s scary at first sending them though .