Nursery from 4 / 5 months - work-life balance

[RH1234]

Hi all,

We are currently planning my wife's return to work and hopefully intend to start KIT days from August.

We have been researching nurseries and found some that seem really nice. We would intend to send our little one 2 to a maximum of 3 days per week, but would likely be 8-5 unless a grandparent could pick them up.

My question is: have any of you on here sent your child to nursery at this age, how did you get on?

Also, please refrain from criticising the above; I would just like opinions from those who have done this and the impact on your little one.

Unfortunately due to both our work commitments, myself running a business and my wife's work role providing an awful maternity package we are currently earning around £5,000 per month less than normal, and the bills don't stop.

Thanks
RH

I live in the US where many send them from 6 weeks. I was lucky in that I did not have to do so but have many friends who started their children before 12 months.
It's not ideal of course but if required it won't do your child any harm. Do lots of research and trust your guts when it comes to the setting, turn up at unexpected times, if you feel something is off don't be afraid to speak up. Make sure they understand safe sleep and will works with your baby's routine.
As you say, you don't have an option so go with it, it will be hard at first but if you build trust with the staff and have a very open line of communication it can work.

I'm a childminder I've had several start with me this age doing 11 hour days. It's a little different as they always get handed to me and I spend the day with them, my assistant is around but I'm always there. Most stay with me full time to reception and feel very settled and relaxed. But it's a smaller environment although we do exactly the same as a nursery. Most often it's the parents that find it hard we send photos and parents will have come in through settling which takes as many visits as everyone needs before baby is left then we do short sessions building up until we've had successful feeds and naps. See how your preferred setting introduces baby. There is no reason why you can't go in to settle baby now as guidence has changed.

It s fine.
Or look at a nanny coming to your house.

My kids went from 3 months. Great nursery, couldn't have been happier. Do what's right for you, don't worry about others.

@RH1234 totally feel for you both, I went back to work full time when my DD was 6months old, so slightly older than your DC.
She started full time hours at 6months, I had a nursery I loved as my DS had been there so I fully trusted them. I had looked around a few other settings but hadn’t had th same feeling.
Have you found a nursey you guys like? That you feel warmth and trust with?

In terms of routines I found it so easy, my DD adores nursery, her face used to light up every day when we took her there. She’s fiesty nearly two year old now and she adores nursery and I can’t speak high enough of them.

Personally I chose a childminder over a nursery. I investigated both types of settings near me and the CM flexibility around hours suited me better.

A childminder can only have one child under 12 months and due to the mixture of ages the other kids they mind will recognised they are the baby, so they will get lots of attention. They also take their mindees out and about in the local area. Even with Covid restrictions they can do so but it depends if you have lots of green space where you live.

If you send them to a nursery their carer will have 2 other children under 12 months. In most nurseries they would just be with children their own age. This isn't actually a problem for babies as they don't socialise anyway. They however aren't taken out so much especially with the Covid restrictions. (I live 500m from a nursery and pass another much better one on my way to the childminder's. The better one lists what the children have been doing by the group they are in on a notice board so I've seen how their outings have changed.)

The disadvantages of a childminder is that you would need to take holiday when they take them. For other planned days off most childminders have a network of childminder friends and depending on the reason for the time off, they may be able to look after them instead. You can also guarantee that your child is cared for by a non-smoker. I would look for someone who is into exercise, so they are rarely sick themselves, and has older children, so they don't need to take time off to look after them. Also check they only do the school run for one school (or two schools very close to each other).

The disadvantages of a nursery can be the high staff turnover. So your child gets a new main carer every few months which is unsettling for them. You also cannot control who the nursery employs so you can end up with a smoker caring for your child. (Yes this is an issue for me. I see and have seen for years the nursery staff hanging around at their lunch times smoking. )

Also my CM hasn't charged me for being late due to being stuck in traffic, there as all nurseries charge you for this. Some also threaten you with social services.

In both cases due to how poorly childcare pays you are likely to end up with your child in the care of a woman who is around 50. Both settings have to follow the early years curriculum.

I sent my DD to a childminder 3 days per week a few days before she was 10 months old, while a friend of mine sent her youngest DS to nursery when he was 6 months old.

My DD loves her CM and my friend's DS loved his main carer at nursery. Both our children are sociable beings from babyhood, there as other children in my extended family weren't so their parents had to be more careful of the childcare they chose.