Should I switch nurseries for my 16 months old?

[itsmehere1]

So long story shot. DD started nursery at 12 months old in January. She is our first so we have no experience of what’s good or bad nursery wise. She was in the baby room which was for 0-2 years old. Last month they decided to separate the 0-2 years kids in two rooms for age appropriate activities. But the division was not age wise but school cohort wise (Sep 2023 and Sep 2024) which really bothers me. I feel my dd is in a stage where she can learn so much from peers. But right now she is the eldest in her room with all babies, except for another girl who is couple of months younger. I asked the nursery if they could move her in the 2023 cohort but they denied saying it would be age inappropriate. I feel a bit disappointed because we chose the nursery based on 0-2 years room and now it’s suddenly changed and I feel my girl can learn a lot more from her elder peers. Would you change nursery in my situation? Thank you

Hmm, I think it would bother me. DD would be the youngest in the older group as she's a Dec baby, 18 months. But if she was born a month later and became the oldest, especially as they're the age groups, they can't move up an age group? So surely they'd always be the oldest until they went in to the toddler room? A couple of months difference between your child and the next oldest doesn't seem much, but when they're so young, they learn so quickly and change so much that a couple of months if quite big.

Seems an incredibly petty reason to switch nursery to be honest, but if your child is unhappy then why not.

When would she "move up"? Sounds like a lot of disruption for a short period of time

@CustardGoodJamGoodMeatGood yes exactly that. Being a Jan born we know that she will one of the older ones but at school age it’s different I guess when they are all at the same level, right now she is learning so quickly as is a very curious child (eager to learn) like any 16 months old I guess.

My gut instinct tells me to change. I discussed briefly with my husband although he agrees - a bit put off with the whole change and getting used to new nursery. Decision time!!

@DarcyLewis I get what you mean but she is literally with babies under 9 months, surely that’s a huge gap ability wise?

@User0ne should be after September this month - and then toddler room after she turns 2 in January 2022 however it all depends on availability. Right now there are kids more than 2 years old still in the second baby room.

[quote itsmehere1]@CustardGoodJamGoodMeatGood yes exactly that. Being a Jan born we know that she will one of the older ones but at school age it’s different I guess when they are all at the same level, right now she is learning so quickly as is a very curious child (eager to learn) like any 16 months old I guess.

My gut instinct tells me to change. I discussed briefly with my husband although he agrees - a bit put off with the whole change and getting used to new nursery. Decision time!![/quote]
I think you need to think which would benefit her more, keeping her somewhere where she's settled, or moving her to somewhere else where she'll learn and spend time with babies more her age? DD has been at nursery for 9 months and she's learnt so much from her peers, she's in a 0-2 room. If she wasn't learning anything I'd be a bit off about it, I put her in nursery for childcare but most importantly, so she can play and learn with babies her age. They pick so much up from copying what their peers are doing.

@CustardGoodJamGoodMeatGood thank you for your reply. I couldn’t have said it better - need to weigh up what to prioritise at this stage - familiarity or learning. Thanks again!

I have 2 jan babies. They go to a small nursery where there are only 6 babies at a time in the baby room. The baby room is 0-2 but the move downstairs might be before / after 2 depending on their development and the spaces.

January is not a popular month for birthdays and neither of them had another child in their class a similar age to them. The next was always a March / April baby.

That meant they were both the eldest in baby room for a while. It was fine. They still enjoyed the activities and learnt loads. The teachers could make their activities a bit more advanced if needed etc.

I wouldn't move them for this at all. Later on it will also make it easier when they leave for school as they will go as a group.

@Twizbe ah I always feared that! (regarding Jan) 🙈

It’s a lot reassuring to know that your both kids were fine in the same situation and learnt loads. maybe I will speak with the nursery again to see if they can do some more challenging activities for my dd (and the other girl perhaps) before I decide whether to make that big switch. Thank you for your reply.

[quote itsmehere1]@Twizbe ah I always feared that! (regarding Jan) 🙈

It’s a lot reassuring to know that your both kids were fine in the same situation and learnt loads. maybe I will speak with the nursery again to see if they can do some more challenging activities for my dd (and the other girl perhaps) before I decide whether to make that big switch. Thank you for your reply.[/quote]
It's ok really. As they've got older and the classes their in get bigger, there are more Feb birthdays around.

I honestly wouldn't worry about it too much. They are learning so much just by experiencing each day at this age.

This is why I chose a setting that had all children together aged 0-5. My daughter is now one of the oldest and plays with the toddlers and babies. And when she was the youngest (she started at 7 months) all the older ones played with her. It really brought her on.

It is a very different setting we have though and not a lot of places locally do it like that, but I have been so happy with how she has done there.

Honestly I’ve worked in early years for many years and I find this whole conversation totally bizarre I just wouldn’t have imagined that parents would fret about their babies being in a group with other babies a couple of months younger.
How do you think it works in families with children of multiple ages, or in childminding settings?
The most important thing for under 2s is the strong attachments they have to special adults.

@DarcyLewis thanks for your comment, I totally disagree tbh but each to their own.

With years and years in education @DarcyLewis - I agree with you.
In fact it would be more likely that for H&S reasons parents worry more about their child being the youngest of the group, concerned about their child getting knocked over or play being too boisterous.

Developmentally every child is different, children develop at very different rates and not necessarily linked to their age in months. The child a couple of months younger ( we are talking 8 weeks!) isn't necessarily at a lower developmental stage than your child OP and could be more advanced.

What are you going to do when your child starts school, often children are split by age between classes? Will you move your child again?

@ArgyleIsle replied somewhere in my previous posts. Doesn’t matter at school age.

You could move her but you have no guarantee that the new nursery won’t change how they group children after you’ve moved
I think if you are not happy then move her but I really don’t understand your reasoning

Agree completely with Darcy. Learning, different abilities.... She's one!! Being happy, settled, having a nice environment, freedom to self-direct play and plenty of play time are what matters. Also in education and play therapy BTW, with two (very high ability if it matters) dc.

I don’t understand what learning you feel they are missing out on? At this point it’s all pretty organic and I can’t imagine your child will be intellectually stunted for life due to what is essentially a pretty brief period. They don’t just learn at nursery either, they naturally learn everywhere, every minute at that age. If they are happy and settled there then I wouldn’t move them.

One of mine stayed in a lower age room for a year at one point as it had better facilities related to a physical disability they have. None of this makes a difference, they started school with the same abilities - both educational and social as their peers and this time in nursery has in no way altered their life and if they never achieve a Nobel prize I really don’t believe this will have been a contributing factor.

I really wouldn't worry. She's so young, the priority is she feels happy and secure and safe. I

She will soon move on and be with older kids. The time will go by in a flash. It isn't going to make a difference in the long term

Don't disrupt her if she's happy

Also an education professional - there is no way I'd move a happy child unless I absolutely had to. Stability and security is really important for development. And an 'oldest' child has so much to learn from interaction with younger children.

Thank you all :) puts my mind to rest. It’s a bit of being a first time mum and the anxiety of doing something wrong and taking decisions on behalf of someone else which keeps me on my toes. Also in many instances when she is with my friends kid who are 18-24 months, she has learnt so much from them even asking to go to potty, speaking words like please thank you etc. But the what ifs never stop do they? as I said I will have a chat if required but decide the move or not after having a good think. Thanks again.

I do kind of get there move as it makes sense to do it around school years. For example ours doesn’t and my DD is a v late august baby, she’s won’t move to toddlers until Sept and then preschool the same the year after. So essentially she only gets one year of preschool before she goes to school… whereas her peers at school for example if Sept born would have had nearly two years in pre school. So for me it would work.
DD is the eldest now pretty much in baby room as the rest have moved up, there is one July born who will move soon.
I’ve zero concerns though, she’s confident outgoing and fiesty.
I wouldn’t move my DD from a setting she loves and adores for that reason you are considering.

Every baby I've had has learned so much more from being with children that are at the next developmental level they copy speech and try things that they see, start engaging in cooperative play at an earlier age its amazing. Surely children should be put in a developmentaly appropriate grouping not some arbitory age split....but of course it's easier admin for a nursery both ratio and activity wise.

As a nursery nurse I'd say try not to worry too much. The staff will be planning activities based on her interests and current stage of development, that applies whatever room she is in and whatever the ages of the other children in that room. Really the most important thing is that she's happy, settled and well cared for.

It’s never occurred to me to ask what ages the babies are in the under 2s room that our DC is in.

Some are younger and being carried in and some are older and running out the door.

They’re all smiling though, and invariably say they’ve had a fun day when I hear them at hand over.

I’m not sure it matters that there are younger babies in the room, it’s not like your DC will be content shaking a rattle. They will still need to age appropriate activities, unless they’re not? And she’s coming home saying she’s bored and upset?