Advice needed please

[yellowmummy82]

Hello I'm new to mums net which is been on her for my other 2 kids
I just need a bit of advice please
My little girl is 2 and a half , she doesn't talk yet but that's all under review by speech and language etc and Covid has made her upbringing different so I decided she needed to start pre school to build relationships with other children for the first month she was fine now when she's been getting very frustrated she's screaming so much she vomits they then ring me as it's their policy I have to pick her up and this happens every time she goes
She's not upset when I leave something sets her off like today she wanted to go outside and she couldn't so she had a meltdown
I don't see this at home she's very happy and content has the occasional tantrum but I distract her and it doesn't escalate

Any advice on what to do ?
I have spoken to preschool but I'm having to basically pick her up after an hour every session because of a tantrum she only goes twice a week is it worth it?

Thank you

Really tricky one because I understand if a child's sick, it is standard policy they have to go home. But the preschool should recognise it's due to a tantrum and not a sickness bug and work out some sort of action plan? Your little one might catch onto this and be making herself sick to go home. I'd have a chat with the preschool and see if you can work together to come to some sort of agreement to get the best outcome for your daughter. X

Thank you yes I think all I can do is try and work it out they only have afternoon sessions for her age group and she's often tired by then I wish they had morning sessions but no go so I don't know if I should stop taking her till January when she'll get morning sessions but she just really needs the socialisation

I’m going to be really honest, as a pre school teacher
She’s not ready
She doesn’t need socialisation
What she needs is to feel safe and secure and her behaviour is telling you that she is feeling the exact opposite
I imagine she is tired and feeling overwhelmed
It’s not fair on her or the staff having to deal with this
Take her out and wait till January when she will be a bit older and the morning places are available

I'd take her out and instead take her to the park or other groups near you if possible. She has siblings to interact with too. She is frustrated and unable to articulate that. Under 3 the main thing children benefit from is 1:1 play with an adult who responds to what they are doing and labels their play. At nursery she will mainly be playing alongside her peers, rather than properly with them.

Is the Health Visitor involved ?
Is she being assessed for things other than speech ?

Thanks for your advice it's half term in a week so I'll let her go to pre school for this week see what happens and then re evaluate ,
No just speech she's got good understanding of words and can recognise lots of words and follow basic instructions so just speech it's just I've felt like during Covid I have so much time to home schooling her brothers I now feel super guilty that she's missed out and there's still a shortage of groups etc to take her to but you might be right
I worked full time with my other kids so they both were in full time child care this is unknown waters for me x

The preschool might be too busy and scary especially if she can’t speak yet. She’s clearly uncomfortable. Perhaps she’d be better in a smaller nursery or with a nanny/ childminder, nurseries are loud and she might feel she can’t communicate with the staff in the way she communicates with you.

Is she being assessed for autism or other development disorders? ASD is likely if she’s not talking yet and finding preschool uncomfortable. It’s extremely unlikely she has language delay due to covid or something you think you did.

Research is being done into the long term damage of lockdown for young children. We know that a lot happens in brain development in the first 2 years where there is rapid growth of synapses and pruning happens of any not used. The government recognised the impact which is why second te around early years stayed open and groups were allowed earlier. If you cant find any groups I'd consider a smaller setting like a childminder a few mornings a week. Normally I say if your home you can do everything a setting can do by using groups but obviously many may never reopen.

Hi thanks
She went for the last week and was fine I think she's getting bored easily she likes to do loads of things, especially being outside, I think she just wants to do what she wants, there are no other childminders or settings anywhere near me so that's out,
Nope not being assessed for autism she has none of the other traits of autism, only the speaking she loves being round others and is not bothered in the slightest by a change of routine, etc, I think I'll persevere with language therapy stuff and see what happens See if she can start understanding speaking is important she has started to make lots more sounds this week
Thank you everyone

Does the preschool help her communicate? My DS is 2.5 and only says a few words. The nursery hes at has flashcards around their necks and teach makaton which helps him communicate. Might help meltdowns? Good luck x

No I don't think pre school helps like that they do macaton but they try their best but Im not sure they know what to do
On the plus side she's had no meltdowns the last 3 times she went
They've got lots of new stuff in I think because she can't talk she gets bored easily and frustrated we're taking it one session at a time