Child be threatened to be kicked out of nursery due to Autism

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I just need somewhere to dump my internal mental load. Apologies if I'm illiterates as I'm highly emotional.

My son has speech and communication delay. He is 4 starting school in September and can only speak a handful of sentences. It seems to really kick off at nursery as for some reason he becomes violent towards other children, we've moved past this then regressed many times.

I have tried to get him help but we are being systematically failed. During lockdown no.1 the health visitor called me up, I raised my concerns about my sons development and doing a question he was assessed as borderline autistic. She said she would assess him when nurseries were open, but she never did.

In June 2020 I reached out to the GP to get a referral with a statement from the nursery . They failed to send the referral to Provide for 5 months !! Despite being phoned and emailed weekly. I eventually got a different GP to make the referral.

Id already been contacting provide about my sons referral before they actually received it. However still today they are unable to give any indication when he will be seen. I'm pretty sure this is an appointment for another referral. I asked to speak to someone senior as he is being kicked out of his education unless I get him help, they gave me a customer services number.

I really feel the nursery gave up after after the Essex SEND team refused to even see him due to "lack of evidence". How can I get the evidence without seeing someone? I have booked him in privately for an autism assessments ( costs thousands of pounds) but even that had a six month wait so he won't be seen until August.

I have no understanding of the process to appeal or what they even want. He needs 1 to 1 support so the other children are safeguarded. I have contacted a local charity for advise. But I also understand that I have to have mediation before I appeal ( probably costs £££). I'm at the end of my tether.

On top of this hes probably going to go to a really shit school because we lost the sale of our home and new home thanks to the building safety scandal.

Could you ask for help from your MP?

Funnily enough my MP is Vicky Ford. The childrens minister. I have been in recent contact with her because of the cladding scandal and have little to no faith in her, but I will probably send her a complaint soon. Children with autism having to wait up to four years to be assessed is disgusting.

I agree. You need to be a real nuisance to get heard. Keep being that nuisance until answers are given. Go through the normal chain of command for requests/ complaints etc but at the same time copy in senior managers visibly at the same time.
Good luck.

I would apply to your local LEA for an EHCP. You can do this yourself and your child doesn’t need a diagnosis of anything.
If accepted he will be assessed by various professionals which will hopefully lead to support for him.

Unfortunately, the entire world around a child with asd is one battle after the other. I speak from experience.
Basically, you'll have to fight for absolutely everything.
Contact the HV again. Insist a referral goes through, ring them every single day to chase it up. If you don't get any luck with that HV, insist on speaking to another.

Apologies if I've missed it, but is he in the nursery class of the school currently? Have you spoken to the SENCO?

Is he under SALT? If not, you can usually self refer in some places. Keep pestering people, keep chasing.

Speak to your local NAS group, ask at your local children's centre if they can sign post you (my one runs an additional needs playgroup so they're all really clued up), also if you're on FB have a look at the group (UK parents of children with ASD or something similar).

Also, contact your LEA. You don't need a diagnosis, it's not an easy process but get it started for your son to have an EHCP.

Just food for thought, is it absolutely necessary he attends that school? Are there any other nearby schools that might be a better environment for him?
My son attends school about a 10 minute drive away because there was no way I was putting him in the two local schools.

Oh and also
It's not easy but he's got a great parent trying to fight for his needs. Keep going 😊

BuggerBognor

I probably didn't express enough how amazing this nursery have been. They really have gone above and beyond for him, I just think they've reached the end of the resources they are able to provide if support is not given that is obviously required. They have tried to help with the education healthcare plan assessment but has been rejected. We are going to work to appeal this.

The main/only reason they are pulling him out is because of the safe guarding of the other children. It absolutely breaks my heart that he is harming others and I just don't understand what is causing this behaviour at nursery.

I hope the charity is able to point me in the right direction.

I'm local to you and know of a few children who are on the horrific waiting list for an asd assessment locally, it's really not on. Can you go back to the HV and pester them to pester others on your behalf?

Thanks BookWorm. I think the the EHCP that the Essex SEND team have refused to even assess him for. Its all confusing tbh. I just need to get him some 1 on 1 support to ensure others are safe and because I'm sure of he had some language support we'd get over this hurdle with only a slight impact on his life.

I think you need to consider getting him an ehcp so he can get the support he needs in nursery / school. Normally your first port of call would be the senco in the nursery. However you can start the process yourself via the lea. It helps to have a diagnosis but it's not necessary. Once you know the school he is going to you can contact their senco as well to discuss how to manage the transition from nursery to school. I know you say the school is rubbish but sometimes the 'rubbish' schools are better at managing additional needs so it might be as bad as you think. Worth talking to people on local autism groups about which schools are best, if you have a choice between schools. I have been where you are and it's very hard however with the right support my boy is making progress that I never imagined possible...

The nursery should be able to refer him for an EHCP. They should be able access support for the child development centre, OT and SALT to become involved. We haven't had much outside support (the nursery) but we have still been getting our referrals through.

What sounds one of the more fundamental problems though is your nursery doesn't have the staffing or resources to offer the support needed to stop your childs behaviour from harming other children. We have the same situation where ratio staffing is different to the staffing needs with SEN children. Many SEN children need additional support and the funding from the council to support the nursery a d child just isnt there.

Sorry, I didn't make it very clear in the original post.

Nursery did apply for EHCP and the local authority refused to even send someone to assess him. Think this was the final straw for them as they feel they have exhausted all the measures they have.

Have a look on the IPSEA website for advice.
Www.ipsea.org.uk