How do you choose a nursery?

[firsttimemumma5]

Hi there!

I'm going back to work FT in September when my daughter will be nearly 18 months and I'm looking to put her in nursery for a few days a week (and the other days she'll spend with my mum - she'd spend them all with her but she has a chronic illness that means mum needs days off too!).

I've booked in to visit the local nursery to get a feel for it but I'm feeling anxious about sending my LO off and wondered what people look for when choosing childcare?

Having spent so much time at home with my daughter, I'm worried about her suddenly being at nursery without me, and anxious that she won't feel as looked after there. Typical mum guilt!

Any experience of this, any tips on what to look out for when deciding, or positive experiences with your LOs would really help put my mind at ease! Thank you xx

With my first child we visited 4 nurseries within a radius of a few miles of our home and picked the one that felt right. One was open plan, noisy and chaotic, one was dirty and run down and one seemed okay but was slightly out the way for us commute wise. The one we picked was lovely and homely, they had low staff turnover, it was in a converted farmhouse with a huge garden and it just felt good. My son was very happy there.

With my second child my partner was working shifts by then so we had to go with the only nursery in the area that would cater to that. We weren't quite so happy with it but we really didn't have another option.

Join your local village/town Facebook group and post on there asking for recommendations - you can't beat views from local parents who will be having first hand experience.

Remember for every great nursery someone will always have a bad story to tell so listen to views but also use your gut

Visits may be restricted at the moment but ask questions - how many gardens? Or often do they go outside? What food is prepared? Is it prepared on site? How do they report back to you(we get a daily email and a portal login to view pictures and info on development and activities)

What ages are the rooms? Baby/toddler/preschool etc

My child has been to two nurseries- the shiny new looking one that seemed fab was not good at all, the second that's a bit older and more traditional in feel has been outstanding so don't look around and let mess etc out you off too much, children create chaos and if you visit in opening hours it will never be picture perfect

The staff 100% make or break a nursery. I'll genuinely be sad when DD leaves her nursery this summer for school. It feels like a family

Good luck!

DD has been to two nurseries. The first was awful; the baby room was huge, dark even on sunny days, with indifferent staff. DD would refuse to eat or drink when she was there. It was a larger nursery, with a high turnover of staff.

I pulled her out after three months and managed to get her a place in another nursery in our town. Infinitely better. Small, warm rooms, they spent a lot of time outdoors in a bright play area lined with trees; the staff have been there forever. DD walked in on her first day and honestly never looked back.

Consider factors such as price (and what that includes e.g some then ask you to provide nappies etc on top), number of children in each room, food/catering, general atmosphere of the place. I would hope all nurseries will be prepared for supporting children settle during the difficult circumstances of lockdown and your child definitely won’t be alone in having not mixed much.

We actually use a childminder, though we have in the past used a nursery. I would highly recommend considering this in your options. My son has thrived there and the small, homely setting has been fantastic for him.

I looked at a few. One was a bit smaller and slightly more worn and tired looking but the children seemed to love the staff. Remember one woman with children snuggled up on her reading a story. I would have been happy there but the hours were no good.
Opted for a larger nursery, lots of outdoor space. You can see the staff playing with the children outside all the time and they are all really engaged with them. That's what's important to me to be honest - are the children happy. They update me with pictures on an app daily and my daughter comes home happy.

We visited our two closest nurseries, both were within 10 min walk from our house. Both had limited availability when we looked when DD was 3mo, in hindsight we should have sorted it sooner. We both preferred the feel of the nursery we settled at, felt the staff were more helpful, it had a forest school and a larger garden so had more opportunities for outdoor play/learning, the pre-school spent time at the nearby care home to learn about volunteering and promote community/ intergenerational learning and relationships, the pre-school also did MFL 'lessons', the baby room was much larger and more separated from the noise/bustle of the older kids and nobody wore shoes in the baby room. Those were the things that swung it for us. DD started nursery at 9mo 3 days a week and is still doing that at nearly 3. It took her a few weeks to settle in fully but she's loved it ever since.

Ask for recommendations on local Facebook groups. Visit as many as possible. The selling point for my sons nursery was the staff. They seemed happy to be there and many had been there since it opened.

I saw five nurseries - all before DD was even born as I'd heard horror stories of insane waiting lists from friends. I had no idea what I was looking for but definitely went with my gut in the end and it paid off. Four out of the five were great nurseries, one was shocking but I only realised how bad it was when I visited the others as I had nothing to compare to beforehand. Thankfully the one DD goes to is 10min walk away, had the longest hours and was the cheapest as well as being the nicest, with lovely staff who DD adores and have been amazing this last year in terms of flexibility and understanding.

For us staff were key - they were friendly, great with the kids and low turnover. The baby room was large and bright. Two things we didn't like by the end were lack of outside space and the open plan was tough for my quiet eldest son. Upside though he found school quiet in comparison

I've literally just been in the situation you were in. I went on a local FB page to ask the locals about their recommendations. My mum friends told me to have a look on their websites and see what the rooms looked like and also the Ofsted reports. As there are still restrictions in place I had to have calls with the 2 nurseries we selected and ask them questions like how many children to staff and how are the children grouped. I checked their menus to see what the nutrition side is like and what hours they were available from. I also looked at the fees and what they included as some nurseries don't include food, nappies or creams.

I agree compare different places, go on your gut feel, low staff turnover is good, a high percentage of teenage staff could be a disadvantage, ask about the settling in routine.
I used 3 nurseries and 2 childminders over the years and would recommend considering a childminder also,I and my children preferred them.

I second the local Facebook recommendation. And ofsted. I’ve only ever considered outstanding nurseries. Just a personal preference. I’m sure good rated nurseries are also great, I’ve just had my pick of outstanding ones where we live!

Also, I’ve got daughters in two separate nurseries as I felt one suited one better and another a different one. My eldest is confident, outgoing & loves being outside. Always has. So I chose a nursery that has a large, natural garden with woods & they do all the mud kitchen & forest school thing. They spend 80% of the day outdoors. It’s a large, busy nursery & DD loves it. I think it’s great for her but I have some reservations about their communication & relationships with parents. It’s got worse since Covid, they’ve shut themselves off & you get very little update about the day, what they’ve eaten. Handover is restricted to 3-4 minutes per parent & most of that is getting coats & bags on. They’ve stopped updating the app & stopped end of the day feedback sheets 😒 I wouldn’t choose it again now because of this.. but DD starts schools in September so we’ll just suck it up! I’ve noticed many many other comments about this issue on local Facebook posts for nursery recommendations .. so def worth asking! Plus you can directly message a parent if you have further questions!

11 month old DD2 is a different child. Mostly because of lockdown. She’s not used to busy environments & has barely left our sides. She’s not interested in the outdoors so far, I’d say she actively hates the cold, she just cries until we come back indoors 😂We chose much smaller nursery with less children. There are 8 babies in her room. It’s a cosy room with lots of toys & a separate sensory room/napping room. Means she has a quiet (ish) place to sleep as she’s used to at home & she gets lots of focused attention. It has a lovely outdoor area but it’s probably not the nurseries selling point. Pre-school have the best bit with woods & a fire pit! The staff go out of their way to chat to me as a parent & tell me all about her day & show me photos of her playing on the iPad. I get a feedback sheet & an app is updated with photos. It all feels very friendly & homely!

When looking round, consider the general atmosphere. Is it cosy or large & noisy (& which would suit your child, neither is wrong). All nurseries are noisy obviously! Are the children happy, again, some will be crying, they all do! But overall are kids playing happily & interacting with adults & each other. What are the resources like - a nursery should have a reasonable level of mess & a slightly tatty round the edges. It means children are actually playing & using the books/toys etc! You don’t want an immaculate nursery as happy, playful & engaged children are far from immaculate! But you want it to be clean obviously! It shouldn’t be grubby. But in winter there might be a muddy hallway from muddy wellies etc!

We made a shortlist based on cost, opening hours, location, what meals they provided, ofsted rating. We then had a shortlist of a couple of visit. We went with the one that's slightly more inconvenient in terms of location but which I had a better feeling about - lovely staff (with low turnover) and a really happy feeling. It's not very big and doesn't have the best facilities but the staff more than make up for that and we're very happy with it.

Thank you all so much for your advice! It’s been so useful - such a big decision and I feel like I know what to ask & look out for now, thank you!

I’d also never really considered a child minder but I think that’s something I’m going to look into locally. I think my daughter would really benefit from a close attachment to her caregiver (we’re very close, blame lockdown!) and I think she’d suit a homely environment. Having said that, she loves socialising so I’ll keep looking at a couple of nurseries too!

@firsttimemumma5

Thank you all so much for your advice! It’s been so useful - such a big decision and I feel like I know what to ask & look out for now, thank you!

I’d also never really considered a child minder but I think that’s something I’m going to look into locally. I think my daughter would really benefit from a close attachment to her caregiver (we’re very close, blame lockdown!) and I think she’d suit a homely environment. Having said that, she loves socialising so I’ll keep looking at a couple of nurseries too!

My DS has a brilliant bond with his key worker (and indeed the other staff at his nursery) - they have 6 members of staff and a max of 12 children at any one time so he gets a huge amount of one-to-one time but also the variety of activities that I/a childminder might struggle to provide - at any one time, there will be someone reading with some children, someone doing an active activity, someone doing something crafty, someone making music etc and the children can just wonder about and do what they like. Clearly there are benefits to a childminder too but it's just something to consider.

Low staff turnover, but staff that seem to like and care for the kids. First one I looked at, any time I heard a child cry, they were being dealt with by the time I figured out which one it was, baby room worker was under a pile of giggling crawlers. Toys and all a bit battered and well-used.

Another was open plan and noisy - friend's kid who loved running the whole time loved it, mine wouldn't have but loved the first one with small rooms and more peaceful atmosphere.

The one that had the owner telling off parents on their tour, didn't allow visits except on monthly tours, and had her being sarcastically nasty to a kid, I ruled out. Later, ruled out the hyper-clean one where preschoolers did lots of lining up to do directed activities. My kids and direction have never really got on - like Hobbes' Calvin, there will be 9 pictures of gardens and one of a dragon on the wall. Didn't see why they should be in trouble for that age 3.

Not having a TV is a good sign, too, though can be ok if they take in kids for after-school care who are exhausted.

Read the Ofsteds and use to ask questions, but don't take them as gospel - the one with the cow of an owner and scared staff was Outstanding, the others Satisfactory or Good. Mine loved their nursery and it was only downgraded because they weren't great at paperwork. Idont think I got an accurate bill for two years but they were fine about it when we didn't pay until it was sorted out, and the two managers knew in their heads everything about the kids.

Some childminders end up with more kids and more crowded than a nursery room, so while they can be great, find out what they do before/after school.

I’ve found a lot depends on how ‘on it’ the manager is. I’ve been with our nursery now for 4 years and in that time the biggest changes in experience has been down to the manager. Baby room has always been good but at the moment everything is really impressively run. The staff are all really ‘on it’ whereas there had been times with the previous manager I had been a bit unhappy with some of the practices in the older rooms. The manager had been off sick for a while and you could tell a few things had slipped.

For under 2s they do need a lot of love abs care. I’ve always felt really happy with the amount of cuddles and attention mine have had. I couldn’t have gone anywhere where that was discouraged.

Ask for recommendations from local parents on Facebook groups. Look at the Ofsted reports as well. We moved our daughter from one nursery to another in town during the first lockdown. I am a keyworker for the NHS and our original one, which was a chain, closed. Thankfully, the local independent one kept open and was able to accommodate us. I never sent DD back to the first one. In hindsight ,the new nursery is much better - the staff have been there for years (previous one had a high turnover of staff), and communication is much better with daily Tapestry updates.