Am I overreacting?

[crazybutkind]

My daughter is at a nursery and before she started they ask for consent on certain things. One thing was social media to which I did not give consent to put her photos on any social media. Just come across all the Christmas party photos and my daughter on several of them full face and body.

I am annoyed my own family are cautious of social media and putting her photo on. Generally they ask before they do. Mainly my mum and auntie and both their accounts are private.

Do I say or do something?
Am I overreacting?

You’re welcome to say something to them and they will remove the pictures, however I do think it’s an overreaction. I’ve my own social media locked down, but I don’t mind the school/nursery taking pics of DC. They love looking at the pictures posted of them, especially nursery dc who will babble endlessly about what they were doing in nursery that day (and seeing the pictures is often the only time they tell me what they were doing in nursery/school so it’s a good way to start a convo about their day!)

No you’re not. No point asking if they can’t stick to it.

When my youngest started school they asked about allergies. I had a thing about her choking on grapes, so I put down that she was allergic to them.
She came home one day telling me that she’d had grapes in some sort of tasting session.

I'd say something. Any photos that our nursery puts on social media have faces blurred out (and they don't put many). When they send us photos they've taken, they're encrypted and/or password protected. It's just good practice frankly.

They use an app to upload pics of your child and send to you throughout the day so I used to discuss the day with my little girl in the evening and look at the photos together. There are about 30 that I have found so far. Individual photos of her posing. I may have woken up on the wrong side of the bed but I am not happy. I have sent an email

It's a safeguarding issue isn't it in any event? Whether or not you gave permission!

Where have you found the photos? Facebook / Instagram or via the app?

Facebook and I only created a Facebook account yesterday to list some items on the market place. Up until then I had no clue and they have been on since summer

You're definitely not overreacting. I'd demand they were taken down immediately and ask for a full chat as to how your wishes were overlooked

Not overacting for example some children are subjects of custody orders and their whereabouts are supposed to be kept secret.

Of course not. You didn't give consent, therefore they are not allowed. The management should want to know about this and to look into their processes - either consent is not being recorded properly or the staff aren't trained or aren't bothered about it - whatever the cause, they need to tighten things up. You should expect them to be very apologetic.

You're not over reacting.

I work in a nursery and we use Facebook and Instagram. We ask parents permission when they join and update regularly- some say yes and some say no. I know we would be in a lot of trouble if we used a photo of a child without parents permissions and rightly so.

It was probably an accident on their part. It is hard to remember which child has which photo consent or preference. Just mention it, they will probably be mortified. As a parent it is your choice. And most nurseries respect that.

Im looking opinions on my concern.
My 2 & half yr old daughter goes to nursery part time.
Iv now noticed a couple of weeks ago that there is 2 male members of staff working at the nursery.
I have been having sleepless nights now as i dont want any other male to change or help with changing my daughter's nappies or taking her to the toilet.
Iv been thinking of arranging a private meeting with the nursery manager to speak about how i feel.
I myself have been a victim of sexual abuse as a young child and the thought of another male changing my daughter frightens me.
How can i go about this to the manager without upsetting her or her staff.

I know some really awesome male nursery practitioners. Vanessa George was female and abused children. I know what happened to you must have been awful. Have you had councilling? There are very strict safeguarding practices in place not to prevent this sort of thing happening. I think you need to find a way to address your concerns with the nursery manager. If you don't then this will have an impact on your daughter and how she views men in her life.

My daughters key worker is male & bloody fantastic. She’s 11 months old & she adores him. I don’t see it as any different to him changing her nappy as I do my OH or her Grandad or uncle etc..

What happened to you is awful but you really need some support on this one from your GP.. you cannot let it affect your daughters views on men as she goes through life. The vast majority of men are decent, kind, nice people. Particularly men who decide to work in a nursery in a caring profession..

I have known male practitioners and they are brilliant. The children just gravitated towards them. I think it's brillliant to have. My nieces first nursery and the senior of the baby room was male he was fantastic

In regards to photos - make sure you tell them. They should be checking who has permission before uploading them. Was it on a public or private group?

In regards to male practitioners, we have one who is great and the children really enjoy being with him. It’s good for their development as men play differently. In regards to nappies and toileting- you can make a request for your child not to be changed by a male but if the female staff are busy and the male staff is available would you rather them do a quick change or for your child to have to wait for a while til the activity is over? It gets busy in a nursery and different staff are free for toileting at different times. If your experience is bad it may be good for your child to understand not all men are bad.

In a nursery it is usually set up so staff can’t be alone with children in this context and everyone is DBS checked. That safeguards both children and adults.