Anxious please advice

[Lullaby88]

Hi I am a stay at home to my 2 year old daughter and in the second trimester of pregnancy.
She is due to start nursery in January and I have started feeling really anxious about the situation. Firstly due to covid ofcourse and if there was a chance she got it and bought it home how it would effect her but more so because I am pregnant and have no idea how it would effect me.
I live i an area thats classed as tier 3 and if shes starting in January its straight after xmas and with it being flu viral season and with bojos xmas rules my anxiety has risen more.
I dont mind taking care of her but she has had no interaction with children at all and is with me 24/7. I know my partner is big on sending her too and we have both been excited. But i am no longer feeling it. I feel it might cause some tension between me and my partner too.
I am an overthinker. Am i overthinking this? Can someone advice me please? Iv thought of holding back till maybe feb and sending her then too? I dont know what to do.

My 2 didn't go to nursery until they got their free hours at age 3. Is there a great urgency for her to start right now?

My daughter started just before she turned two in September and she is THRIVING. I didn't want to send her to a nursery before 3 but we had to change childcare provider in the middle of lockdown (she wasn't going but we needed to sort of something for later). She's more chatty, she's made a friend who she talks about non stop (shame we can't have a play date), it's firmed up her toilet training, I'm so glad shes there.

I didn't have much choice about needing her to go and I wasn't worried about her health or ours particularly just about spreading CV to others so she has had a few CV tests because she gets sick there a fair bit.

I had a couple months where she went and I wasn't working and it was immensely good for me to have a bit of space and we would like to TTC again next year and I'm already thinking I'd like her to go for a few hours when I'm not working so I can rest (I'm not a good parent tired tbh)

Will your nursery hold the place till Easter? When’s your baby due? Because it would be best to get her settled before the baby comes, but if you can wait then perhaps it’s sensible to do so if you’re anxious about getting ill.

She will turn 3 in December and get free funding then. There isnt a huge urgency to send her apart from the fact she doesnt have interaction with other children. For her development really. She is happy at home and learns a lot but its different in a nursery. If i wasnt pregnant I think id be less anxious..im confused im not sure how other Mums who are pregnant handle this stuff...

I'm not sure if they would hold the place till easter. Im also thinking my anxiety might be overtaking me and it will make my daughter miss out.. I could send her a bit later.. im just confused and anxious.

Its great to hear ur daughter is thriving and would love to see my daughter thrive too.. were u pregnant in the period ur daughters been in nursery though? And did u hav any anxiety surrounding this if it was the case?

I wasn't pregnant, we're were trying and didn't have any concerns but unfortunately I didn't get pregnant then was made redundant so have paused till I am eligible for maternity pay again.

I think your concerns are understandable. Would nursery hold the place until February or March? Just gives time for any peak in covid after Christmas to settle. But yes you do want her to settle in for ideally a couple of months before new baby comes.

I think if she’s about to turn three, rather than bring a younger 2, then I’d send her, OP. It really does benefit them, you get a break and a chance to establish a routine before the baby comes, and so on.

Are you usually anxious about your health - in pregnancy or generally? Or is it just Covid worries? Not minimising that at all, but if you are worried about the baby’s development or miscarriage etc then there’s no evidence Covid poses that kind of risk. If your DD got it she’d likely not be ill at all - young children seem to get it very mildly. And if you got it, you’d probably feel rotten, which is horrible anyway but worse if you already feel a bit rotten being pregnant, but you’d more than likely recover absolutely fine too. (I got norovirus from my DC1 when I was about 8 months pregnant with DC2, it was bloody awful but no harm to me or baby).

If you suspect you’re being a bit overly anxious, be careful not to let that rule your decisions.

I will ring them tomorrow to ask if she can have a delayed start. Thanks for your advice.

I have began to feel quite anxious recently because of covid specifically. iv known some people who had it and its been really unpleasant. With pregnancy the anxiety has risen, i hear the immune system is weaker etc.. Thank you for sharing your story about the noravirus.
Iv been having anxiety in the early hours of the morning and stay up for 2 hours figuring out what is best. Im not sure if i am suffering from some form of anxiety right now.

I think you should ring your midwife tomorrow and tell them about your anxiety. They should be able to help.

This is totally anecdotal, but my daughter has been at nursery since they reopened in June. We are in a tier 3 area and my own work has seen a lot of cases, but the nursery hasn't had any yet.

Personally, I’d try to delay to allow for a post Christmas rise in cases. You sound a little anxious but in my opinion proportionately so.
A couple of months won’t harm your daughter but if it means losing your place I would have to ask myself whether the benefits of your DC going outweigh the risks. Have the conversation with them and go from there.

Utterly ridiculous update OP: Turns out I am pregnant (not sure how far) and I'm still not worried though not sure how it works with her having to isolate every now and then and taking me down with her

Speak to your midwife about your anxiety and also the nursery and other parents if possible (local FB groups) about how things have been

If you are worried you could always delay the start date

Thank you for your advice, my anxiety has settled a bit as I have more of a plan now. Thank you so mucb

Thank you, i have delayed her start to end of January now.

Awww congratulations on your pregnancy! I rang the nursery and they were happy to delay her start date till end of jan.

Thank you :)

It's great you were able to delay, that seems best for you.

I just wanted to say though, my son's been back at nursery since July - quite a big one - and they haven't had any cases. He's coming up to 2 and absolutely loves it, grins when we arrive, getting on really well and learning far more than he would just with me. It took just a week to settle him in.

Thats great to hear! Sounds reassuring. Appreciate you sharing that with me.