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Nurseries

Find nursery advice from other Mumsnetters on our Nursery forum. For more guidance on early years development, sign up for Mumsnet Ages & Stages emails.

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Original poster

Should i pull DS from nursery??

19 replies

mynameis · 18/10/2007 12:09

My DS has attented nursery one day a week for nearly a year. TBH he has never really settled and is still tearful every week and even gets upset if he sees children from nursery when hes not there! My working hours are changing soon and he wouldn't need to go now for childcare purposes. I wanted to pull him from nursery but now family/friends are saying it would be a mistake as its 'Educational, developing social skills etc'. I am really torn. He is nearly 2.

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familymatter · 18/10/2007 12:12

I'd pull him out to be honest, he's only 2, try again when he is pre-school age.

Monkeybar · 18/10/2007 12:13

Tricky. If he really hates it there, I would take him out. But only you know your child well enough to know whether that's what's best for him. Have you ever hung around after he's gone in to have a peep through the window a few minutes later? You might find that the tears are just for when you are leaving and that he's fine afterwards. Also with him only being ine day a week, it's almost like the first time everytime - sadly for me my ds went fulltime from 9 months and althoguh mondays were someitmes a bit hard, the rest of the week was fine.

mishymoo · 18/10/2007 12:15

I think it's probably best to pull him out if he is still not settling after a year! I think because he has only been going for one day a week, this has added to him not settling quickly. We had this problem with DS when he was only going mornings, but when we changed it to all day, he settled within a couple of weeks.

If you don't need to put him in nursery, then don't! He will still develop social skills outside of nursery.

saadia · 18/10/2007 12:16

If he's not happy and you don't need the childcare I would most definitely pull him out. My ds didn't start nursery until he was 3.5, he has settled fine. At nearly 2, I'm not convinced that children really need to go to nursery and I wouldn't worry at all at this stage about educational and social skills - he will pick up tonnes just from interacting with you and family and friends.

Saturn74 · 18/10/2007 12:17

Socialising, education and development don't have to take place at nursery though.

Why don't you have a look around the local area for groups you can go to together eg: music, gym.

And go to the park, soft play etc to meet up with other children.

He's still very tiny, and I think you should go with your instincts.

Sunshinecursedmummy · 18/10/2007 12:17

I would probably persevere with nursery, but you know your child best so pull him out if you feel it's right for him.

Original poster

mynameis · 18/10/2007 12:17

They always tell me he is fine after a few minutes but its just a feeling I get when I pick him up. He's always red eyed and still miserable and almost sprints out the door.

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happystory · 18/10/2007 12:18

Agree with other posters. Nearly 2 is quite young and the pre-school environment might suit him better when he's nearer to 3.

If you don't need to or really want to keep him there, I can't see the benefit. You can still socialise with other children with him, tumble tots, park, friends etc.

bobsmum · 18/10/2007 12:19

Agree with Humphrey - if he doesn't have to go for childcare wait til his preschool year. He's not even 2, let him have fun without "education" for a little while longer?

Sunshinecursedmummy · 18/10/2007 12:19

He may be similar to my DS though - sometimes when other parents start to turn up to collect their children he gets upset that I'm not there yet so I do turn up to find him crying or red eyed. Getting upset when he sees other children from nursery out and about does sound like he might not be enjoying it though, whereas I know my DS loves it once he's in the swing of things.

Original poster

mynameis · 18/10/2007 12:20

Thanks for the replies
I don't know why I feel so torn as my older children didn't go to nursery/preschool until nearly 3 and are fine. I think i just worry too much!

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Original poster

mynameis · 18/10/2007 12:21

and it down't help that my DP is always saying 'Well its up to you' arrgggh

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TwigorTreat · 18/10/2007 12:22

I'd pull him out if you don't need him to go

Sunshinecursedmummy · 18/10/2007 12:22

It sounds like you're torn because of pressure from other people, which suggests to me you should go with your instincts. Humphrey is right - all the stuff people thinks he gets from nursery can be achieved elsewhere.

TwigorTreat · 18/10/2007 12:23

DD started pre-school (2.5 hours a day) this Sept .. she whinged going in a bit but loved it .. not loves going in and has made some great friends .. in 5 weeks ... she's 3 and 5 months

they change so much

Original poster

mynameis · 18/10/2007 12:35

I think I will go with my instincts and take him out. Thanks everyone

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NAB3 · 18/10/2007 12:42

Pull him out. Plenty if time, He isn't even two yet!

DZM · 18/10/2007 12:42

My daughter used to go to nursery for 1 day and my mum for 2 days while worked. She hated it at nursery used to cry when we left her and never settled in the end we took her out of nursery as she stopped eating (8am to 6pm) when she was there. The nursery were really nice and tried everything they could -they thought the best way to get her to settle was for her to attend at least 3 days per week.

She was there from around 6months old to 18 months old. I don't think taking her out of nursery has any bad effects on her as She started pre-school when she was 2yrs 10 months and settled really well and loved it

NAB3 · 18/10/2007 12:43

Also, one day a week might be why he hasn't settled. I took my DD out when the playschool announced out of the blue that she was no more settled after 5 months, than when she started at 2.5 years.

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