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Very worried about nursery

5 replies

LittleMango · 03/08/2020 09:58

Hi my baby will be starting nursery end of September/beginning of October and I'm very worried. He'll be one years old when he starts.
Before lockdown he was good with other people but since then he's because quite clingy. He does play by himself but if he can't see me he panics and looks for me.
Around other people he is always looking for me and can't be comforted by other people.
I'm sooo worried that it will be a massive shock to him. It will only be 2 days a week but I'm getting really upset over the thought of him looking for me and me not being there. I don't want him to feel abandoned by me.
Has anyone been through something similar and it was all okay? I'm a single mum too so he pretty much just knows me. Thank you in advance for any reassurance or advice x

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userabcname · 03/08/2020 10:04

This is very normal. At around 7mo separation anxiety kicks in and they realise you can leave them (and might not come back!). My first had terrible separation anxiety - screamed whenever I left the room, only wanted me never DH or anyone else, I'd never left him with anyone other than DH and I was so worried about leaving him. Guess what - he was absolutely fine! A bit unsettled at first but in no time he was running in with the biggest grin on his face and barely paused to shout "bye". He's 3 now and a confident, sociable little boy. Try not to stress but do share your concerns with the staff - they are very used to this and have great tips/tricks to help you and your child settle in well.

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SloopyDoodle · 03/08/2020 12:31

I am about to go through the same thing! My LO will be 11.5 months old when she starts and it will be two full days (10 hours as well, gulp). The settling in process is worrying me, instead of gradually putting her up to a full day they are only doing 45 minute sessions outside. I have started leaving her with my mum for increasing periods of time to help build up my own separation anxiety, is this something you could do? So far I have found my little girl either cries and does not stop, or doesn't even seem to notice I've gone.

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SnackSizeRaisin · 05/08/2020 03:30

We had our first settling in session today, it has stressed me out so much that I can't sleep. The crying was heart breaking. To be honest, the staff didn't seem that reassuring either. It's a well regarded nursery so maybe it's just me. But I was encouraged to just leave my 12 month old and go immediately for 2 hours. They said it was like ripping off a plaster. I then watched through the door as she screamed for 15 minutes. I don't think I can take her back there

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Twirlytwoo · 05/08/2020 09:41

We start our settling in sessions in a couple of weeks and I am also stressed! Mine will be a year when she starts and she is so attached to me. Definitely talk to the staff and talk about your concerns. Our nursery are giving us 6 weeks to settle our daughter and we can do more sessions in the meantime if needed. The plan is one, one hour session a week but it will be outside with key worker and then she goes in to get used to the hustle and bustle. Good luck, it's so tough for us parents but the nursery staff are experienced. If anything feels off do not hesitate to take them out and put them elsewhere.

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Tumbleweed101 · 15/08/2020 22:44

Once they develop a bond with a staff member and realise they can trust them to meet their needs the crying eases. It is very normal for them to cry - let the staff know what they enjoy doing at home so there is a way for the key person to start that bond with them at nursery.

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