Worried about starting nursery

[Alovelycupoftea88]

My baby will be starting nursery in a few months when he is nine months old. I need to go back to work but have managed to drop a day so that he will be going 4 days.

I am starting to get really worried about him going because he’s not used to other people at all and I’m scared he will feel totally abandoned by me. The lockdown began a week after we bought him home from hospital so he didn’t see anyone else for the first three months of his life. Even though things are a bit more relaxed now, we’re still worried about other people being too close to him/holding him and we follow the guidance on visitors so he’s not had the chance to get used to separations from me. I’m trying to socialise him a bit by taking him to outdoor cafes etc but I still think that nursery will be a massive shock to him.

Is anyone else in a similar situation or does anyone have any advice on how I can get him used to other people in a safe way?

I am in the exact same situation 😩 DS will be 8 months when he starts nursery in a few months and I go back to work full time.

I am taking him to an open evening beforehand so hoping to get a feel of how he is. Hopefully I will have chance to ask questions about/if the nursery have put anything in place for baby's who aren't used to being away from parents.

My lo just started nursery at 10mo, slightly different as we had a chance to do some baby classes etc before lockdown but to be honest I'm not sure it would have made a difference.

Is your DS a clingy baby or quite independent at home? Is he OK in new situations or does he need reassurance from you? This will give you an idea of how he might react and prepare yourself for it.

Things that helped me: Speak to your nursery about how they are handling settling sessions now so you can make a plan. They might be able to recommend some things.
If he doesn't already have a comforter or fave toy etc then introduce once that smells of you so he can take it with him, and then if you have a partner, make an effort to be away for a couple of hours to get him used to being away from you for longer periods of time.

Thanks for the replies. One of the problems is that the nursery we want won’t confirm our place until Oct which is causing me a lot of stress. We do have a back-up place at another nursery but it is more expensive so not ideal. I think I will pay for an extra month so I can have lots of settling in time if they will allow that. I like the idea of introducing a comforter as that might help the transition.

We've just had this as my DD2 has just started nursery at 8 months. She doesn't remember the people we saw & classes we did when she was a newborn! She's only been going for 2 weeks & cries at drop off but as soon as she's inside she's all smiles (I'm not allowed in but can peak through a window). We've had some tough nights as she hasn't napped as well there (understandable!) but she's eaten well. They have a system I can log onto to see photos they take to keep me updated & she looks happy. You'd be surprised how adaptable they are. It'll be tough to start with but he'll enjoy it in no time.

Forgot to say they did some short settling in sessions before she did a full day. First time was in the garden & I was allowed to be there. I'd check what their policy is. You might be able to build up to it.

I know I didn’t have lockdown to contend with but DD went to nursery at 8 months, two weeks before the lockdown started. During my mat leave she was so clingy, she cried every single time I put her down. Even if I was still in sight and just putt her down for 30 seconds to put my shoes on to take her out for example, she would howl.
She started at nursery and pretty much forgot about me immediately Never paid me any attention during the two settling in sessions I was there for and apparently barely batted an eyelid at the third settling in session when I left. I had pretty bad PND so during mat leave would rarely take her out and hardly went to any baby groups so she wasn’t that used to other people.
She was in nursery a couple of weeks before lockdown and then at home with us. She went back as soon as the nurseries reopened and had no issue whatsoever.
DD really relished the attention (not that I didn’t give her attention, but the new attention from shiny new people), other kids, new toys, new food etc. Obviously I can’t say that your DS will be the same but I thought a reassuring story might help a bit.

Nice to hear that she is setting in well. I will find it so hard if he cries when I leave him but I guess I just need to face that fact that it might be difficult for both of us at first. I’ll definitely look into their settling in policy when we have our place confirmed.