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Toileting issue at nursery

7 replies

raemeg · 29/07/2020 14:12

hi - just looking for some down to earth advice!

My 3 year old boy is all potty trained but still needs someone to wipe his bottom.

Yesterday at nursery, a worker who doesn't work with him usually insisted he wiped his own bottom. Hes never done this before and when he came home he seemed a bit anxious about it. This isn't a huge deal and I figured I'd just say to nursery that we'd like to be told if they were doing this so we could support it at home/be on the same page etc etc. I also want it done carefully because he used to have issues with pooping at nursery and it caused a few problems.

So far, so routine. However then my son said this worker took a photo of him on the toilet. He said this several times to me.

However then 2 hours later he said it wasn't true after all.

I spoke to nursery today to try and establish what went on. I tried to speak to the room lead and in turn she dragged out the worker in question.

What I got was initially a lot of defensiveness about the bottom wiping - which as I said isn't a huge deal, I just want us all to communicate. Then she just said "no, we don't take the tablet (they take photos on an ipad) out into the toilet".

And...that was that.

I'm under no illusions. My boy does tell some tall stories (apparently we were in France last weekend with 2 non-existent sisters 😂😂😂) but this just seem so weird. And to say she took photos is out of the blue - usually his other "stories" circle around things hes seen on TV or heard others chatting about.

How should I proceed???

OP posts:
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omg35 · 29/07/2020 14:14

There are so many staff in nurseries I'm sure someone would've noticed taking pics in the toilet. If you're really concerned you could ask DS for more details...

By 3 he prob should be learning to wipe himself so I'd be inclined to support this at home from now

raemeg · 29/07/2020 14:15

Oh yeah, oddly we were starting this weekend! Totally agree hes ready x

OP posts:
pinguwings · 06/08/2020 19:12

Err you need to take this higher. Your son has potentially disclosed a massive safeguarding issue. I would be on the phone with the nursery management and if they are dismissive then I would go to ofsted.

TeddyIsaHe · 06/08/2020 19:14

Yeah as much as you might brush this off as tall takes (I know I would with Dd, some of the stuff she comes out with!) it does need to be properly investigated. Nursery would do the same with you if your son said something worrying there.

Fandabydosey · 07/08/2020 15:46

I would say if he isn't able to wipe then that isn't fully toilet trained. I would always encourage children to wipe themselves. They have to learn sometime to do it seems sensible to me to teach them at the same time as using the toilet.

Thetree122 · 27/03/2021 21:22

I work at a nursery and all of the children I look after at 3 need help with wiping, even some 4 year olds so I wouldn’t worrry about that. With regards to the photos, I would make sure this is properly investigated because it could be a serious safeguarding issue. Although at my nursery, we use Tapestry for obs and take pics etc, sometimes when the child is potty training or about to be we take pics of them, fully clothed, in the bathroom pointing to the potty to show their interest, obviously no other children are in it. But it could be the case that’s what your son saw. But I would raise the issue again just in case.

insancerre · 02/04/2021 12:30

I would raise this with the manager
The iPad can be checked for photos even those deleted

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