9 month old starting nursery with no settling in - help!

[Notabadger]

My 9 month old is due to start nursery soon, two days per week. With all the covid distancing etc I'm not sure that any settling in will be possible as no parents are allowed inside the building. How will my baby cope?! She's hardly even seen another baby and not been held by anyone else for 3 months!

My older one started at 12 months and we stayed for 2 half days and he was fine but this feels so different

Does anyone have any ideas that could help?

i feel you OP

can you get baby used to a "home" toy? like a cuddly or something that smells of you? that she can take with her?

if you can, get out and about,make conversation with randomers (obviously at a distance!), but everyone loves babies. Let them coo and talk to her, might help?

9 months is such a good age to start them. There may be tears, but aslong as you trust the nursery, drop and leave. Go cry in your car

i feel you OP

can you get baby used to a "home" toy? like a cuddly or something that smells of you? that she can take with her?

if you can, get out and about,make conversation with randomers (obviously at a distance!), but everyone loves babies. Let them coo and talk to her, might help?

9 months is such a good age to start them. There may be tears, but aslong as you trust the nursery, drop and leave. Go cry in your car

As a nursery manager, we are not prepared to do no settling, and will use our garden space so that parent and child can access it with one staff member. That way the child can get to know us with parent still around, but adults can distance whilst child plays freely. Maybe ask if they're prepared to do this?

Thank you! I'll ask them about whether something can be taken in with her, and whether they could consider outside settling instead

@Notabadger we have also said we'll accept comforters for babies but ideally one that can be left with us to avoid in/out all the time during Corona

My ds has started nursery this week and they have allowed settling sessions.

We went really early before opening and were 1:1 with his keyworker in his room. That allowed them to clean the very limited area I was in before other babies arrived.

He then had short drop offs at the door for his visits without me.

I think it was a bit easier as dd had been there for 4 years so I felt very confident in setting and staff and therefore wasn’t anxious about that side of things.

My DD started this week. Initially they didn’t want to offer settling in sessions as parents are currently having to drop off at the gates. But I explained that by now it was 3 months since she’d last interacted with other children, let alone been separated from her dad or I, and it felt borderline cruel to just chuck her into a new scenario and hope for the best. They relented and I was able to do two settling in sessions with her, although I’m not certain that will be enough. We’ll see!

Does she have to go? If not absolutely necessary, I'd keep her home.

Where is your eldest going? Can they go somewhere together? (Childminder?)

At 9 months there's no way I'd leave her somewhere strange, with strange people, no sibling and no settling in. If they expect you to do that I'd assume it wasn't the nursery for me.

Hi OP, my DD (11months) started nursery last week. We had 3 x settling in sessions before, all based in the garden which was great as weather was nice. They also made us both change clothes and shoes when entering the building and thoroughly wash our hands.

They were only open for keyworker children at the time so slightly smaller groupings. Neither me nor the nursery would have considered starting with no settling in, as you say it seems particularly cruel having been isolated for so long.

Definitely speak to the nursery first to find out what measures they can put in place to minimise any risk, but I can’t imagine they’d be happy to start your DC with no gradual easing in. Good luck!

I'm in the same boat and dreading it.

My now 14mo was due to start nursery when lockdown started. Now adults aren’t allowed in the building so I’m worried about a very un-gentle settling in period. I’m visualising him being prised off me in hysterics...

His nursery are allowing me onsite for 30 minutes, in the garden. Is that reasonable or should I push them?
(I understand social distancing means I shouldn't go in or go near other children or staff, but I'd like more time, especially with a keyworker he's never met. )

He's not played with other children in 3 months, been to a building that isn't our house, or been with anyone but me and my husband. Before lockdown I made sure to do all the baby groups, he was confident and sociable. Now he's scared to get out of his pram if we're out, and climbs back in when I try and get him out to play. However, DH and I are juggling work and childcare and he could really benefit from nursery time.

Can you just start with a couple of short sessions, so you both get used to it before going full days. They don't really start to settle until they are there without parents anyway.

@ArchbishopOfBanterbury My DD is 14 months too and will be "settling in" next week – in quotes because I can't think of anything less settling than being abandoned with strangers for two hours after months of solitude. I'm going to talk to them this week about doing garden sessions because it's just too awful otherwise.

My ds starts next month and they're coming to our house to introduce themselves in our garden which I thought was great. He has 2 more settling in sessions after and they haven't said I'm not allowed but not sure

My DD’s nursery has done dozens of story readings and talks for children over lockdown. It’s nowhere near the same but maybe see if your nursery has done similar (it will be on their Facebook page or Tapestry) and play those to your child so that the workers there will at least look slightly familiar.