DD not talking to me

[kac85]

Hi all, first post!
So my DD started nursery 2 weeks ago (3 mornings a week) it is going ok, first week no tears, second week did not want me to leave, I am working on a few things to help her settle, when I pick her up she is fine and happy. Although when I ask her about what she played, who she spoke to, did she have anything to eat etc she ignores me and wont answer (I do already know as the nursery workers tell me but want to engage with her) When I prompt her she says she is to tired to talk. Whenever any family member asks her about nursery she wont answer their questions, she will not talk about nursery. Is this normal? a phase? I am trying to use engaging questions and language as she is only just 3 trying to articulate feelings. Any thoughts welcome.

Expect this for many years to come. My ds's auto response to anything about his day was always "don't know" or "can't remember". He grew out of it around 8.

Haha at 8 my eldest has graduated from a shrug to 'same as usual'. I have one in nursery school too and she tells me very little. Sometimes it works to be a bit more specific, eg: "tell me something silly that happened today" but not always

Ha ok as first going to nursery we all have those worries dont we!! I'll try a more specific approach and see of that helps!! She does have a little attitude already, if I ask something say 3 to 4 times she will say hang on mummy I'm just a bit busy.......seriously cannot get to grips with her sassiness and it will get worse!!

Honestly, just leave her, don't push. Just chat normally and things that are important to her (and probably not to you) will come out. I would have an attitude if you kept asking me something over and over that I couldn't answer 😉

I ask specific questions and it usually works a bit better than just what did you do.

So for eg. Did you use a paint brush today? Did anyone make you smile? What colour plate did you have? Did anyone run really fast /fall over /climb anything?
What was your favourite song to sing today? Maybe we could sing it at home.

DD tells us things at random times when something reminds her. Also she likes sharing news so I say 'Today I...' and then she will talk about her day. She is nearly 4 though.

I think young children don't look back over their day, in the way we might do.
So probably she really can't think of answers to your questions, and finds them tiring.

Another thought, maybe she wants nursery to be "her thing" and not a subject for chat with adults.

Mine are a two years in, and still when I pick them up and ask what they've been up to that day it's either "nothing" or "don't know" or a simple shoulder shrug whilst their teachers are disheveled, sweaty and knackered ushering us out the door

Dd1 is like this. Was the same at nursery and school.

She's almost 20 now and living away from home at a prestigious art school. And if I phone and ask her about her day I get "all right". Every time!

Try asking daft questions.
Did you run/jump
Did you use a red pencil
Did you laugh.

And try chatting in the bath not when you pick her up. Imagine someone wanting every detail of you day at work just as you leave the office.

Yep, very specific questions like "what did you do before lunch".

Or what seems to work really well with my DD is role playing it. So she sits all her teddies down in 'class' and teaches them what she learned in school today. The teddies then act like her class mates, so sometimes one of them will shout out while teacher is talking and have to go see the headteacher bear and get a sad face on the wall. Or one will push another bear, and we learn that DD was pushed by a friend and feels sad.

She particularly likes doing this just before bed.

I am much older than 3 now but I remember being asked these questions as a kid and didn't really get it as everything I did at school etc was just normal and therefore didn't seem worth reporting. It wasn't that I didn't enjoy it, I guess I just didn't realise that it wasn't what my parents had experienced in their day too or something?