School nursery - struggling with large class size

[Pandapoppy]

So my son is due to start primary school next year and I wanted him to be familiar with the school, teachers and have friends before he starts, so I moved him from his private nursery to the school nursery last September.

However the school nursery has a huge class size (40 kids per session to increase next year). They have the right amount of teachers for the kids but most of the time they are in free play with the teachers supervising and only for the last 20 mins of the session do they break up into smaller groups and do activities.

My son seems so lost in the big group. When I take him in the morning he doesn’t really say hello to anyone (and they don’t say hello to him) then he goes to find a quiet spot on his own to play. At home he is quite loud and boisterous. At his old nursery it was a much smaller group and although he was a bit shy he would join in with the others (longer hours there also helped). However, at the school nursery he just seems to be lost. His key worker said as much at our last meeting, so they know it’s an issue but there’s not a plan or anything in place to help. I’m not sure what they could do either.

I would send him back to his old nursery but most of the kids there would be going to a different school and I’m still hoping he might make a friend or two before primary.

Anyone else had the same issue?

That's a tricky one. It doesn't sound like the ideal environment for him, but I can understand your reasoning about being familiar with the kids and teachers before starting school.

Could you invite a child over for a play date, to encourage friendships? Also I would have another chat with his teacher to discuss strategies. They will need to assess him against the EYFS goals, which include social communication, so it's in their interests to help him with this aspect.

A group of 40+ certainly seems too large for too long in this instance. It is likely to be unhelpful in terms of development for at least some of the children. I’d be very surprised if your child is the only one being adversely affected: there are probably other parents with similar concerns.

The tricky thing is, this is a school nursery, presumably attached to the school parents intend their children to attend for some years. If it were a private nursery, I’d definitely say to put some feelers and try to get several parents to express their concerns, with a view to persuading the manager to break things down into smaller groups for more of the day.

Trouble is, school nurseries often adopt the same mentality as many schools. They think they know better than parents and if a parent disagrees then they, or the child, is the problem. They can also respond badly to being approached by groups of parents presenting a united front, as this is interpreted as parents "going behind their back" or "misusing social media" to discuss matters.

Good luck.

some school nurseries are bigger than that. here, it's not unusual to have up a roll of 70 though they do split into groups (of 14-20) for activities. definitely not ideal for every child, and some, normally the quietest ones, will get overlooked.

I'd think about sending him back to his old nursery. The class is too large and the school doesn't sound as interested in his welfare as they should be.

This was one reason I didn’t send my DD to the school nursery. Class of 40 seemed too much too soon for a just turned 3 year old. And yes to a PP who mentioned some school nurseries seem to adopt a school mentality. My DD is now in the school and I’ve volunteered a bit with the PTA - I feel the nursery is too formal and too big.

My DD has no friends when she started primary school but they make friends quickly at that age. They have many years of school ahead of them, if your DS was happy in the other nursery move him back.

That's far too large. He won't be getting much of anything out of that experience.

I’d prefer a non school nursery personally. Ratios are 1-8 for staff who aren’t teachers and level 3 staff are very specialised in Early years teaching. I’d prefer smaller classes and more adults.