Nursery at 4 months old

[Chlosavxox]

~ posting on behalf of a friend, I don’t have any children (yet!) so can’t really give any advice was wondering if any of yous had experience ~

My friend is considering sending her baby to nursery 3 times a week whilst she’s at university (her mom works there, in a different room, but can pop into the baby room) opinions on this? Is she better off taking a semester out and starting the baby when he/she is 6-7 months old instead?

For reference the baby would only be in nursery during term time, during time off the baby will be back at home with her ~ she gets a week off in October, 3 weeks off in December, 3 weeks off for Easter and then 4 months off in the summer.

Meh, I'd do it.

Me too. My 3rd child went to nursery at 4 months (full time!) He was fine. Needs must.

Mine started at 6mo and was youngest there in 2014. Most women seem to take 9-12mo off. For me the 6mo Mark was a time of great change - he started food and was able to sit up. In our nursery he would not really have fitted in any earlier. So I think it depends on the nursery.
Also my ds’s sleep was awful at 4mo (big regression) so I would not have been able to study to my ability.

It sounds young to me but many women in this country and others have and do send their children to nursery at that age. My son’s nursery in theory takes babies from 3 months but now as most women take 9 months / a year in reality there’s very few that young in the baby room. They’re taken good care of. I know I (mentally) wouldn’t have been ready to work or study when my babies were that age but that’s me not your friend. Sometimes circumstances drive choices and that’s just the reality.

It’s fine, why wouldn’t it be? Plenty of working women (many even in very senior roles) only take 3 months maternity leave, and nursery is often the sensible option as there tends to be more flexibility and reliability to the service.

Thankyou :)

I suppose its how she feels about a stranger bringing up her child or the stranger having an input in her child's life. As a mother of older children I massively regret not spending enough time with my eldest I worked part time 4 mornings a week. There are fears and phobias DC has which would never have been there if DC hadn't been in child care. DC is late teens those fears and phobias are very hard for DC1 to overcome and these things hinder DC1s life, its too late I can't change it. I wish I had chosen better child care/not worked. You can never ever get those precious days back but you can always continue your education at any age. I have just gained 2 major qualifications this year in my career I am in my mid 30s. I miss my children being little my biggest regret is going back to work with DC1. I didn't work with DC2 and I have far less regrets. With DC2 I did baby massage, music and movement groups, gym tots swimming, meeting with friends etc now DC2 is far more outgoing happy go lucky, has a good and sensible head on their shoulders and DC2 is far more confident I don't feel I failed DC2 like I feel I failed DC1. Yes this was tough financially I didn't have new clothes, makeup, hair cuts, shoes or nights out. I just scrapped through paying the bills but I was able to give my undivided attention to my children.

Your friend may find yes it is just term time but what about all the study and assignments being at uni requires being a mother and a student requires hard work and dedication. If she can do it then that is fantastic for her and what an achievement it will be., the pride and accomplishment she will feel will be the best thing ever.

The best thing you can do as a friend is support her. Help with child care so she can go to the library, or bring her calpol when she can't go to lectures because baby is running a fever. Or when she is in the thick of assignments and on that train of thought and she has a crying teething baby to sort, be there for her as a friend because it is going to be hard for her especially on limited sleep. I am sure her partner will support her too. But she is going to need every inch of support she can get because it is going to be tough. This post is not to guilt anyone but an open an honest account of my personal experience.