Settling into nursery: need a bit of support please!

7 replies

JustSometimes · 07/08/2007 20:21

I'm trying to settle my 23 month old DS into a local nursery, which is brilliant. I have booked him in for one and a half days a week. I've had to bite the bullet and send him due to work and not having family close by. He's been fairly good. He makes his feeling on being 'left' quite clear and add the screams and cries which I'm sure are all normal.
However, I?m like a wrung-out dishcloth and despite trying to keep a brave face, I'm really finding it tough. Not just because of leaving him, but from the tellings off I've had from my Mum, who is accusing me of psycologically damaging my son as he's too young and 'he is in a dreadful state'. I've taken all this on the chin and helped her through it.
Tomorrow, I have no option but to send him all day for the first time as so far (it's only been 3 weeks - so 6 days at nursery)
Do you think he'll cope as he's never slept anywhere else other than his own bed (or car)?

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Doodledootoo · 07/08/2007 20:24

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Doodledootoo · 07/08/2007 22:20

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Original poster

JustSometimes · 08/08/2007 19:34

I sent him off this morning, he was very upset but we got over that swiftly and he settled for the day. He wouldn't sleep on the mats they provide and quite sadly crawled into a corner and fell asleep until they picked him up and put him on a sleeping mat. He didn't eat or drink all day. Refused everything apparently. I picked him up at 3pm. He's eaten and drunk loads at home and is absolutley shattered. He's enjoying the playing, but I can see he's finding it tough being away from me. I'm trying to keep things as routine / normal as possible so he doesn't pick up on any concerns DH and I may have. Any tips on how to make him settle better?

OP posts:

RubySlippers · 08/08/2007 19:38

you are not damaging your child by sending him to nursery - not sure why your mum would say something like that
my DS has been in nursery since he was 6 months old and is now 14 months
you need to give this all time - have you spoken to your DS's key worker about how he really is during the day
things will calm down - you are having to settle back into work as well

hudgebar · 08/08/2007 20:03

I have 2 kids and both have been in nursery since little. It is hard at the start, but he will absolutely be fine - honest, promise. One thing that might be worth mentioning, is that 1 1/2 days a week might be too little time in nursery - he never gets time to really adjust. If he was in 3 half days, that might work a lot better, or if that doesn't work for you, 1 day and 2 halves? Kids like continuity and familiarity (which is why he doesn't want to be left) and nursery workers I've chatted to always say the ones in one day a week or so are the most unsettled. Spend the extra half day doing something for yourself.

As to your mum, she's being really undermining - whether she means to be or not. It might be because she's genuinely worried, or more likely her own hang-up about how she dealt with her own children - she may even be jealous about your brief periods of 'freedom'. Whatever it is, it doesn't help you and you should say that.

Chin up, he and you will be fine.

Blaggingit · 08/08/2007 20:59

I have just settled my ds who is 15months in to nursery. He went just before his first birthday and over 2 weeks increased his time to 3 full days. Only now can I say that he has truly settled, so no tears at drop-off or pick-ups but I know that all the time in between he is really happy.

It is hard at the beginning but you will no doubt love the time away for little ones, I know I certainly do! And it doesn't mean I don't love my child etc!

katewilson13 · 10/08/2007 13:46

My DS has now been at nursery 2 days a week for 3 months. He loves it - or at least now he does. First week he sobbed for ages, second week he sobbed until I got to the gate, third week he sobbed until I got to the door, and now it's as if I don't exist when we get there! He has learnt loads too - playing in the sand, how to push a toy car along the floor and is clearly much more confident movement wise. I do agree with the MNer who mentioned that maybe 1.5 days isn't enough - I'm not sure 2 days is enough for my DS. No sooner is he used to it, when we change back again. But I wouldn't have it any other way. Don't feel undermined - he will learn lots, meet new people and have new experiences. My DS does sleep less there - but eats loads more! It'll get easier at the weeks go past!

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