Anxious About LO Illness in Nursery

[healthanxiety1]

I have suffered from health anxiety for many years now but my anxiety is becoming worse since my DD started nursery.

She's 14 months and has been in nursery for 6 weeks. When I dropped her off at the first settling in day, all the babies look so miserable. They were full of colds and upset.

After her first week she picked up a terrible vomiting bug and missed the following week sessions. Over the last week she keeps getting a high fever and a bit irritable but is acting fine in herself.

When I collected her yesterday I noticed a couple of red marks on her lip but thought she may hit it with something. This morning the marks are still there and I'm panicking that she's picked up the cold sore virus.

I keep being told that all this is immune system building but I'm upset and feel I'm putting her somewhere where she is susceptible to picking up life long issues (such as cold sores).

I have to work so care is a must. Would I be better looking into a childminder?

I have no family close by who can help and my health anxiety for my child is becoming a bit much now. Can anyone help on how I deal with this?

Not an expert but:

• Your health anxiety clearly plays a part here, as you acknowledge.
• Anecdotally every child I know has a few bugs (or more) when they join nursery.
• Childminders will take their mindees out to groups etc, so that's not a solution imo.

How do you feel about the nursery staff? What do they say about your DD's illness as against other kids'?

Hi - thank you for your reply. There's one staff member who I think lacks the social skills you need to have when looking after a group of children each day. She was new when my DD started but I'm keeping an eye on it. Her key worker, who was great, left the nursery last week. Yesterday was the first day without her key-worker being there.

I spoke to the nursery manager when she had the vomiting bug and she basically told me that it was normal, and will get used to their germ pool etc.

I think the mark on her lip has just pushed me over the edge - I've protected her so much until now and feel I'm not there to stop something happening when she's at nursery.

First time mum and new to all of this 😭 should I talk to the nursery about my concerns?

Honestly there is no point talking to the nursery. It happens, it's normal. My son was ill SO much his first year there (he started aged 1). He is 3.5 now and I can't remember the last time he was ill.

I get it, I have healthy anxiety myself, but none of the illnesses she picks up there are going to be life threatening.

Thanks fringebot for confirming this sounds normal.

Red marks around her mouth are more likely to be hand, foot and mouth disease. My daughter has got that from nursery.

It is tough because they do pick up lots of stuff but ultimately better to get it when they are small and build up the immunity to it.

Even if you put her with a childminder the child minder will have other children and also attend groups with many others.

Before the HA kicks in, hand foot and mouth is miserable but not dangerous.

My DD was ill almost constantly when she started nursery about a year ago but is developing a kick ass immune system (far better than mine).

The thing is, if it doesnt happen at nursery now, it will happen at primary school. I think it's best you get some support with your health anxiety. It's totally understandable to be worried when your child is sick but if you feel like you're more anxious than you should be, tackle that issue rather than nursery.

Thanks everyone. Hadn't thought of hand, foot and mouth. I do need to deal with the fact that my HA is making me panic and I need to get it in check.

Appreciate everyone taking time to respond 😊

I remember the early pre school days by the number of D & V bugs, colds and all the rest. Both my sons collected a plethora of bugs, and they were fine and it lessened after the first 6 months or so.
There were no long term ill effects and they have really good immune systems now. It's totally normal ( though I think we'd all wish it wasn't) for them to go through this.
The nursery is correct in describing the place as a germ pool, and your daughter is building up resistance to all these common bugs but it will be no different anywhere else.

As a PP has said, better now than when they are at school.

And while this may might life a nightmare for you with your health anxiety, you aren't alone with this experience. She will be fine.

Thanks wakeupalready, I do feel better knowing that most children experience this and come through fine in the other side!

It's a revolting first few months, but it does pass!
Hope your DD gets over the latest one quickly.
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