Going to lose my s**t!!!

[Morph112]

Sorry for the long post. My son starts school nursery in September. He has a place in a nursery that’s a 5 minute drive from his home. He also has a place in another nursery that’s a minute away from his home. The nursery I want him to go to is the one that’s a five minute drive away, it is a much better nursery according to ofsted reports and is also known to be a good nursery around our area. His father wants him to go to the closer nursery. This has caused an absolute shit storm between us and I have been called every name under the sun. He has threatened to leave, not contribute to our sons uniform and said he won’t be there on his first day. I am so fed up and I don’t know what to do

What is wrong with the closer one? Ofsted reports are not great indicators

What are his reasons for choosing the other one?

Ive not heard very good things about it where as the other I have

Simply the closeness even though the other is like 2/3 minutes closer away

Is he usually so dramatic?

Does he usually threaten you like this when he doesn't agree with you?

Who will be the one dropping him off/picking him up?

Yes AppleKatie pretty much

Buttertoasty sometimes, he can be very dramatic. And I’ll be the one taking and picking him up

Have you both visited them? That might help you make a decision together.

We have visited the one he wants him to go to, but he has refused to visit the one I want him to go to

Honestly life is too short.

You will be dealing with the practicalities, the school is better on paper, you are happy with it. How does it negatively effect his life at all?

Next time he threatens to leave laugh at him and tell him to go if it’s that important to him.

Don’t be held to ransom like this. It’s ridiculous

If the difference was 1 minute away and 30minutes away then fine, but kicking up this huge fuss about 1 min v 3/4mins??

Have you asked him clearly what the closer nursery can offer that is better than the other one? Class size/trips/costs/activities/space etc? Does he actually have any facts or information he can bring to the table instead of kicking off like a child.

Why would he not want his son to go to the better nursery?

This is a very strange thing to get so wound up about. Next time he threatens to leave, tell him to go.

Ltb. You'd need to visit both nurseries though:

Ofsted reports alone are an awful way to pick

Unfortunately he’s refused to visit the nursery I want our son to go but I went and visited the nursery he wanted him to go going to have to have some serious talks with him

May not be this at all, especially as you say he is often like this when you don't agree, but I had an acquaintance whose husband was adamant about their son not attending a specific school nearby that she liked. Turned out to be an affair -can't remember if it was someone who worked there or another parent- he was trying to hide.
I was hesitant to mention as it could be so wrong & cause issues but just that you say he refuses to even visit the other is odd.

Your husband sounds like a nutcase. He should be out of his terrible twos by now.

Sounds very controlling. And I think it's about you, or he wants to cause strife for a break up.

He’s just called me stuck up I am FAR from stuck up. Quite the opposite actually. Really don’t see the big deal at all. He’s never given it a chance, refused to go to the visit, refused to go to the parents evening. I don’t know any other ‘man’ who would act like this

The big decision you have here is not to do with picking a nursery, but whether to stay with your dp or not. He sounds awful.