My seat!

[Sabba67]

My two year old grandchild comes home from nursery shouting "my seat", "my car", "my teddy", "my apple" etc. etc. He is usually angry and takes a lot of cajoling before his mood improves. Could this mean something is amiss at the nursery (maybe play is an unsupervised free-for-all and this is his survival strategy) or is it perfectly normal way of expressing his dominion over his surroundings? There are no other children in the house, just two adults.
His mum thinks it may be a response to hunger as he is away for a long day (8 - 6) and only gets a snack at lunchtime and not much in the afternoon. She could have a good point. Any similar behaviours?

This post was previously made on the SN section by mistake.

I’d be asking questions about the food situation first of all. What exactly is he being offered in the 10 hours that he is there??

I think it's normal at this age to start understanding possession of certain things, I try to redirect by reminding it's nice to share etc if appropriate. I'd be more concerned about lack of adequate food whilst he's there to be honest!

Why is he only having a snack at lunch. He's probably starving.

DD recently went through the 'my...' stage. She got very upset one day when I said it was my house too 'no mummy, not your house, MY house' she discovered 'our' last week at 2.5 so hopefully is getting over it.

Her nursery does breakfast, snack, lunch and tea though, and she's hungry at pick up at 6, so I'd agree he's likely starving if he's not getting meals!

Why does he not eat at nursery? Normally a child doing 8-6 would get at least 2-3 meals and 2 snacks, plus milk.

This is nursery is not feeding these children properly. Perhaps ask for a detailed list of what this child has had to eat since being dropped off.

I work in a 2-3yr old room in a day nursery and this is very ‘typical’ ‘normal’ behaviour. Likely he has heard tigers saying it and theeefore taken it on himself, but it comes with the ‘finding my feet, displaying my personality’ territory. Also this is the stage where they learn that somethings are theirs and somethings are other people’s, so it is linked to this developmental stage too x

All agree hunger is most likely the issue. Mum provides a tub of food daily. I'm not sure how the staff supervise mealtimes. The thing is I've had this conversation with his mum and suggested to her that he be given something substantial at 4. She agrees it would be better but adds that it's very cheap nursery and conveniently located. She seems content to whether the storm each day and keep things the way they are. Meanwhile the daily protests continue. Thanks for the input.

When dd3 Was at nursery she had breakfast, elevenses, lunch, snack and then high tea. She at it all every day.
I would investigate the food first.

The food situation sounds really weird
My DCs are in different nurseries but seem to eat constantly. 8 -6 they'd get breakfast straight away, snack mid morning, hot cooked lunch, tea about 4pm though this is light.

Frlrlrubert - good to know we're not alone! I should get him to learn the word "our" pronto!

He needs to be eating more. Can you speak with the nursery and send in snacks for morning and afternoon... Then phone them during the day to ask if he is eating is snack happily?

I bet he's really hungry. At my children's nursery they have breakfast before 8.30, a morning snack (fruit, breadsticks etc), a hot lunch and pudding, tea (sandwiches, baked potatoes, wraps, etc) and pudding every day. They're always feeding them!!

Leaving aside the food issue, this 'mine' behaviour is very common at 2 years. Children will argue over possession of anything and everything, to the point where they start to sound like that flock of seagulls in Finding Nemo.

They will argue to the point of tears over something that isn’t even there (eg "my mummy" "no, my mummy"); something they can’t possibly own "my pavement"; or something completely intangible "my sleepover".

It comes as a particular shock to families of an only child, where there’s no other 2yo to argue with at home.

Everything with my two year old is "mine" which leads to war with her two brothers! The food issue is concerning though. If he isn't being fed properly for whatever reason that will need to be addressed however difficult the conversation may be.

I've never known any nursery (no matter how cheap) not give less than 3 meals and 2 snacks a day.

DD's nursery is:
Breakfast
Snack
Dinner (hot main meal)
Snack
Tea (afternoon tea type)

Some children will be there until 6/6.30 so there's no way that they're going from dinnertime with nothing until they get home. Mum needs to question what's going on or if she is providing food, provide more.

It does happen and may increasing become 'a thing' for nurseries to stop providing meals.

At least two nurseries near me have had to 'let go' their cook and request parents send packed lunch/tea, while the nursery does just fruit for snacks and toast/cereal for breakfast. It has come about because of the high proportion of parents on 'free' childcare who refuse to pay even pitifully small contributions towards food. So the nurseries can’t afford to pay for food and cooks, even at cash&carry rates and minimum wages.

Sad, but just one more example of the damage being done by this failed 'free' childcare policy.

The OP should ask about sending a packed lunch if the food on offer doesn’t suffice. The nursery may well be having to trim it’s food bill in order to stay afloat as other costs rise and fees continue at unsustainably low levels.