Preschool letting my daughter sleep all session

[MamaFleur]

I Picked up my daughter from preschool this afternoon, to be told she had slept for 2 hours, she's only there for 2 and a half hours twice a week, I'm a sahm with a 1yo so it's something we pay for so that she can socialize and play. We're pretty skint, so it's something we have to budget to do and now it's just a really expensive nap. She doesn't nap in the day and hasn't done since before the summer and she is not poorly. I know now tonight is going to be absolutely hellish cause it's the one night my DH is working late so won't be home before 9 and she's going to be up super late. I don't know what to do though, how do I get her to sleep tonight at normal bed time even though she's slept for two hours today? What can I say to the preschool so it doesn't happen again? I'm genuinely a bit upset by the whole situation

For a child to sleep for two hours they must be knackered so it would be unfair on the child and nursery to expect her to be kept awake.

I’m amazed she was even able to fall asleep in a rowdy preschool setting, so something must be up. I’d guess she’s sickening for something.

Oh no, she's honestly able to fall asleep anywhere, we very much from a young age never kept it quiet when she sleeps, and she's fallen asleep in the middle of a party before when she was bored. She would only fall asleep there if she was left without interaction or anything to do.

I wouldn't be surprised if your DD got ill in the next 24hrs...

Nursery used to do this with my 3 year old - he still napped but would nap 3 hours if you let him, so they let him. I told them over and over to wake him after an hour and a half, but they kept saying at pickup 'ooh he had a massive nap today!' Grr. I'd be clear on no naps OP if that's her normal way of doing things (unless poorly I suppose!). Good luck tonight!

If it is only a one off I wouldn't worry about it. It's better they let her sleep than woke her up.

I get why it's annoying, but I'd be more annoyed if my child was so tired that they wanted to sleep and they weren't allowed to.

Me too beela.

Thing is, she's only there 2 and a half hours, and I've discussed it with them before not to let her sleep. DD is like ihearkingthisle's son, she'll sleep in the day if she can get away with it, but then won't sleep that night. Now tonight she is bouncing off the walls while I'm here trying to settle DS and my husband is still at work 😧

Whilst not universal, it’s pretty normal practice in early years settings for children to be allowed to sleep at will. Many settings have a policy that sleeping children should not be wakened.

Medical advice suggests that preschool aged children do not necessarily need daytime sleep, but they could well do if they have fewer than eleven hours of unbroken sleep at night.

Honestly, I’ve never seen a child fall asleep at a preschool because there’s just too much noise and too much going on. So if your child chooses to curl up in the corner and fall asleep (and they’re apparently not tired or ill, so you say) then I’d be asking questions about why preschool staff aren’t interacting with your child and encouraging her over to play with the various activities. Why don’t they notice that she’s curled up in a corner and do something about it? Or is it easier for them to have one less child to monitor? Is she choosing to absent herself because she’s feeling unsettled?

Maybe you need to adjust the time that she's there? It's pretty normal to have 1-2 hours of quiet time in the afternoon where the ones who need to sleep, sleep, and the ones who don't just quietly read a book or lie down for a bit. If she's going at this time of day, usually early afternoon, then they'll let them do what they need to do. It's free time for resting and being quiet. Could you send her in the morning instead when there might be more structured activities happening?

Sleeping time/quiet time really isn’t the norm in a preschool setting though mindutopia. In day nurseries, maybe, but not at preschools where the children are usually only there for the morning or the afternoon and the sessions have the same routines and activities whether it’s AM or PM.

My DC were at nursery full time and naps were part of the day until the term after they turned three when they went into the preschool room and things were more structured. Obviously they were allowed to sleep if they needed it, but they were usually taken to the baby room if they were under the weather and sleepy. It wasn’t the norm in the preschool setting for children to sleep often.

If it’s just a morning pre-school session, where is she falling asleep? As I doubt they have a designated nap area. Is she lying on the floor and going to sleep?

She’s sleeping because she needs to
It’s cruel not to let children sleep when they need to
Just because your don’t want her to sleep doesn’t mean she doesn’t need to sleep

Ofsted do not like a setting that prevents children from sleeping as it is against human rights and used as a form of torture. Your child will not have been encouraged to sleep but must have needed it. Research shows that napping aids night time sleep in the long run most 2 year olds and many 3 year olds nap as it is the time the body needs to digest learning and process what has happened while awake. In a blind test it was shown that parents who were told a child had napped even if they hadn't would treat the child differently and effectively scrap bed time routine, they also mistook over tired children who where badly behaved and bouncing off the walls as ones who were not tiered when actually they were over tired and like hamsters on a wheel unable to calm and stop. Few children get recommended sleep with many surviving on less than an adult needs and the blue light given off by their devices which many use to calm children before bed actually upsetting night time hormone levels.

Swap to a morning session.

I get where you are coming from. It seems strange that a child who has not napped for a few months is now napping when she is at preschool. Has she only recently started there? Like a pp, I wonder if she is sitting in a corner on her own and falling asleep because no one is interacting with her (my dd is 8 and can still fall asleep in the day, despite being in a room full of people). If she a quiet child, who would struggle to ask for attention or join in with the others unless they invite her to join the activity? Maybe she needs a bit of a push to join in with the others, it can be a big step to go from being at home to starting at a setting. I do get your frustration, paying for her to attend preschool, for her to sleep all the way through. How many times a week is she attending? It’s going to be hard for her to feel more comfortable in the setting and make friends (which would help her to stay awake) if she is sleeping through the sessions, so I think the staff need to be helping her through the transition and encouraging her to join in with the activities on offer.

How old is she?

At our setting it’s only the children doing longer sessions that might nap. Very rare in the preschool room unless they do long days or are poorly. More normal in the 2-3 year room usually after lunchtime. Babies nap as they need.

We’d probably try to interact with a sleepy child only with us a short time to keep them busy but sometimes the new experiences make them fall asleep to process things.

As you say your a sahm and skint have you any local toddler groups and library sessions near you? if so id use these instead of paying for a nursery just so she can socialise. Then all 3 of you can be out meeting people and save money. Children don't need nursery to socialise that's a myth and it wont be long before she gets funding for every day.