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Nurseries

Find nursery advice from other Mumsnetters on our Nursery forum. For more guidance on early years development, sign up for Mumsnet Ages & Stages emails.

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Original poster

5 month old starting nursery - worry

14 replies

gothefcktosleep · 14/10/2018 01:33

I am starting to feel general guilt/sadness/worry about my DD going to nursery next month.

She is generally good with other people but hasn’t been away from me for more than two hours before. When she was she screamed for pretty much all of those two hours.

She has her settling in days at the end of this month and DH is taking her first week there off work to ease her in... but I will be at work an hour away...

how do I win the lottery between now and then so that I can stay with my baby forever?

Any tips or advice for getting over this absolute dread?

Will the nursery call if they can’t settle her? I will put her cellular blanket that will smell like me in her bag for her. Every time I think about her going into nursery it kills me a bit; never thought I would struggle as I am a scary professional type

Before anyone asks, I’ve been utterly stupid and started my return full pelt - Monday - Friday FT.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

HSMMaCM · 14/10/2018 11:15

5 months is a good age for settling. She'll get lots of cuddles and going full time will help her accept it as the new norm quickly.

Be kind to yourself. It's often harder on the parents than the children.

Lazypuppy · 14/10/2018 11:17

Between now and her starting nursery you need to get her used to being away from you for more than 2 hours.

Start small abd build it up, when your partner is home from work,go out for an hoir or so.

Is there anyone that could help and babysit for a few hours?

I don't think you've been stupid to go back FT, that's what i'm doing next month

Original poster

gothefcktosleep · 14/10/2018 11:42

I don’t have any childcare options unfortunately... all friend’s work and no family nearby :( i’ll Just have to hope for the best.

DH not an option. Don’t ask.

OP posts:

NotAnotherJaffaCake · 14/10/2018 11:46

One of my DCs started settling in days at 3 months (don't ask) and it was completely fine. He had to do 2 days a week from about 4 months. I rationalised it as the nursery was fab (our older children went there), it was at my workplace and the staff were well qualified and kind people, unlike family who might be well meaning but have no first aid qualifications, for example. He's thrived.

Sometimes you've just got to do it..

Original poster

gothefcktosleep · 14/10/2018 12:19

The nursery IS fab, I have to remind myself that... I think I am ready to go back to work in one sense but what’s making me feel sick inside is the idea of her getting worked up and needing/wanting me and not being able to get that comfort.

She is gorgeous but clingy. But I’ve seen her fall asleep on other people (a couple) so I know it can be done. I’n Kind of hoping they will help help sleep in her own cot okay too as she’s currently in with us.... (I love it but really our bed is not big enough)

OP posts:

lulabaloo · 14/10/2018 12:22

Could you not ring the nursery and ask to settle her earlier and for a longer period of time. just say your feeling really worried and anxious that she won't settle. I work in a nursery and we have done this before. Or maybe pay for her to do 1 day a week or 2 mornings soon so she is a little more settled when you are back at work.

Original poster

gothefcktosleep · 14/10/2018 12:38

@lulabaloo... oooh I hadn’t really thought of that, that’s a good idea. I wish i had more time than 2 weeks to do it now! Thank you, I might give them a call in the morning.

OP posts:

GlennRheeismyfavourite · 14/10/2018 12:46

My daughter was like this, it took about 2 weeks where she was quite quiet at nursery, just sat and watched more than joined in and carried her blanket everywhere then it clicked and she absolutely loves it now. Settling in didn't help her at all - she had to be there for longer to settle. The first day leaving her was hard but it got better very quickly. My daughter is there 5 days a week and the staff say children who are full time settle faster. I know she loves it now. Do they use Tapestry? It's nice to be able to see what they're up to! Be prepared that to start they will probably cry at pick up. My daughter would be fine then see me and it was like it reminded her I'd be gone so she'd start to cry. Even that's stopped now.

lulabaloo · 14/10/2018 14:11

Its worth an ask. Its the hardest thing leaving your LO when going back to work, I've done it 3 times and been an emotional wreck every time, but she will settle and i think a 5 month old is a good age.

Looneytune253 · 14/10/2018 14:15

As much as you probably don’t want to hear this at 5 months they don’t even notice lol. At 9m and above can be tricky but unless your baby is particularly clingy I’m pretty sure they’ll be ok. I’ve settled plenty of children over the years and as long as you keep it all light and breezy they don’t even notice.

Original poster

gothefcktosleep · 14/10/2018 14:46

Thank you for all your replies, I am starting to feel a little better about it now...

OP posts:

CottonSock · 14/10/2018 14:48

I started my dd1 at nursery early as I was struggling. She settled really easily. Dd2 started at 1 and was much harder

welshweasel · 14/10/2018 14:50

DS started full time at 4 months. The first couple of settling in sessions didn’t go brilliantly but by the end of his first week he was sorted and never had any issues again. It’s actually a really good age for it, befor separation anxiety starts. I cried on the journey to and from work for the first few days, convinced I was doing the wrong thing. I wasn’t, it all worked out brilliantly, but do be prepared to feel upset initially. DS is now almost 3, loves Nursery so much and is a vey bright, polite and well adjusted child.

CMOTDibbler · 14/10/2018 14:56

My ds started ft at nursery at 4.5 months. He'd not been away from me, bf to sleep for naps. He settled so easily and learnt to nap with a muslin with them, had ebm in a bottle on demand and generally had an easier time than children going to nursery later.

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