Half a day nursery when I'm not working

[Pebbleinthesand]

Okay, two things really:

Firstly, I don't need to send my 16 month old daughter to nursery as my mum looks after her whilst I work three days a week (I know, I'm very lucky) but I'm considering sending her to nursery to help her social development being around other children and to get her used to being left with someone other than myself and my mum. Mainly because of cost I'd only want her to go to nursery half a day a week but I'm not sure on how much benefit this would be, only being a few hours once a week.

The second issue is which day to send her. Am I incredibly selfish for sending her for half a day when I'm.l not at work so I can get things done around the house?

Stressed out mum, second guessing herself here Xx

I'd think she would struggle only going once a week for a few hours, and actually most nurseries won't take children for just one session for that very reason.

Two half days spread out over the week (like Tuesday and Friday mornings) would probably make the transition easier for her.

You're not selfish for wanting some time to get things done btw, you're a working mum!

To be honest, you might not be able to do this as all nurseries that I spoke to in my area wanted a minimum of one day a week, quite often two days. So might be worth checking and seeing if it’s a goer first.

I put DS in for 2 mornings a week at 18 months, also for social reasons. Tbh he struggled with it, I think we left it too late and the few hours a week didn't help. I wish I'd opted for a childminder instead; I think a more homely environment would have been better for him. We put DD in nursery much earlier for 3 mornings a week and she settled pretty much straight away. I think it all depends on the child, the nursery and the age of starting really.

My nursery was minimum ten hours per week.

Do you or your mum take her to toddler groups. She can get used to going off to play independently there.

You might find somewhere that would take her one day a week. A few might do a half day.

It's fine to arrange some time for yourself.

From my experience children in nursery only one day or half a day a week really struggle with settling in as it’s such a huge break, it’d be better to do 2 half days spread over the week so that your DD doesn’t forget nursery and finds it easier to settle in. That said I’d be looking to save myself money and go to toddler groups with her or maybe ask your mum to take her to groups.

Half a day is pointless. Also I doubt you will find a nursery that will take a child on for half a day

We did 2 half days a week from the age of 2 and both DD’s settled well. Before 2 I don’t think it’s all that necessary, especially if your mum is taking her to groups etc to socialise with other children.

She's not missing out on anything at 16 months! Start her at a playgroup two mornings a week when she's 2 or 2.5. One morning on your day off and one morning when your Mum has her.

I returned to work when Ds1 was 10 months old and he went to a nursery 3 days a week until he was 16 months.

Then we relocated due to Dh's work and it was my intention to unpack the house then go back to work part-time in the exact same job just in the new city.

To get a foot in the door of a nursery we put Ds1 back into nursery at 18 months old for 1 day a week. This allowed me to blitz the house/batch cook/shop/have a bath without a child stripping off and getting in etc whatever I needed to do.

I never did return to work as we wanted a second child and so I just stayed at home. Ds1 remained in that nursery for 1 day a week until he was 3 and transferred to 5 mornings a week at the preschool attached to the school.

Ds2 started a playgroup at 2 years old, 2 mornings a week. I am still a SAHM 14 years later

Both children benefited from being away from me even though I did take them to playgroups/soft play/music mornings.

My dd went 2 mornings a week from about 15m, she was fine and loved it but has never been a clingy character, depends on their personality I think.

Also she got ill a lot! So be prepared for that.

As mentioned, a nursery may well refuse to do fewer than two days @ week.

If you want one afternoon amongst other children, a parent and toddler group would fit th3 bill just as well.

But in all honesty I wouldn’t call either of these things "socialising" in any real sense.

I know of a nursery that will do half a day a week and I've arranged to go look at it with my husband.

I'm not sure how she'll settle in. I guess only having a go will tell with that.

She's pretty sociable when I take her to toddler groups, although we don't make it there very often, but it's the being away from me and getting used to being away that I think might be necessary.

Lots of friends who have kids at nursery say that they come on so much when they start nursery.

It's going to cost me about £100 a month for half a day so I'm still very undecided but thanks for all your input.

In my experience a lot of children struggle doing only one day a week, let alone one half day. It's a long time in between sessions. It seems like you've made up your mind and I do hope your child loves it. She will definitely benefit but please do bear in mind the concern of her being there for such a short time every week - away from the people she knows, with very little time to bond with the staff there.

I agree that nursery and preschool can be amazing for childrens social development, as well as many other areas, so I hope it goes well!

Half a day at her age is absolutely pointless
Half a day at any age is not beneficial, unless you have no other option for work

She really isn’t going to get a lot out of half a day a week. It will take an age to form bonds with staff and other children because she won’t be there most of the time.

DD has been in nursery since 13 months, she loves it but goes 4 days a week. Yes nursery brings them on in lots of ways, but only if they are there long enough to benefit from it.

To be honest I’d be suspicious of any Nursery that took children for 1/2 a day a week because most nursery workers know that it will be difficult for a child to settle properly.

At 16 months old she will get nothing out of half a day at nursery and I am really surprised that you have found one to do this as it’s very unusual. Most nurseries insist on at least 1 day at that age or 1 and a half days as was the case with our nursery.
However if you are doing it to get half a day to yourself and get chores done (don’t blame you for this at all) and she is happy enough being there then I would do it.

Maybe go for 2 half days? One when you are at home (so a well earned rest and time to just get a few things done) and one morning when she is normally with your mum - at least then if she is ill your mum is around and your mum can pick her p anyway. From my experience one session a week is hard for little ones, it’s too long a gap. I don’t think as a baby you necessarily have to worry, but ultimately if she likes being around other children and it gives you some time, why not give it a try!

Friends say children at nursery have really come on a lot - but typically developing children of this age do make natural leaps and bounds in learning as things click into place no matter where they are so they don't actually know if its the nursery or the child and perhaps are using it to support their own decisions, there is a lot of guilt with parenting no matter what you are doing.
Is your child meeting her milestones, are the health visitors happy, does your current arrangement let her mix with others, separate from her carer (move away from them in play situations like toddler groups) if yes to these questions I wouldn't change it. Children do not need to be institutionalised to be normal.

My DD went to our local pre-school Tuesday mornings only. She managed brilliantly but she was at another nursery 2.5 days a week. It made a good transition between nursery and school as she had to adapt to different childcare settings.