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Nurseries

Find nursery advice from other Mumsnetters on our Nursery forum. For more guidance on early years development, sign up for Mumsnet Ages & Stages emails.

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Original poster

Midday quiet time

24 replies

Melbabes6 · 13/09/2018 09:17

My DD is 3.5yrs and has been attending a Nursery Class since Easter. When she started I was informed that they have a short rest period straight after lunch as some children still need a nap. I made it very clear that my DD does not need a nap and nor did I want her to. As time passed I did talk to my DD a few times and she said she plays outside while the other children sleep.
Anyway, new term, new teacher. They have sent a letter home requesting a cot sheet and blanket for quiet time. I have politely spoken with the teacher this morning stating my strong wishes that I do not want my DD to nap. She assured me that she does not have to nap but it's simply a time for rest where the children lay down and listen to music for half an hour. HALF AN HOUR!??! That is such a long time for a 3 year old who has no interest in sleeping. And straight after eating isn't ideal either.
I am strong believer that children should always be given a choice and that the teachers should be catering to individual needs.
Am I being that annoying parent?! Or do I have a point!?
The teacher said she would discuss with her colleagues and come back to me at the end of the day. But what if they insist?!

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Synecdoche · 13/09/2018 09:55

They can't physically force her to sleep and they might have have staff cuts which mean she can no longer be supervised playing outside as she used to. Would they let her take a book to look at quietly while the others are sleeping?

itsaboojum · 13/09/2018 12:56

There seems to be wide variations between nurseries as to how far they will go I need following parents' detailed wishes.

Ofsted have recently placed a very strong emphasis on 'school readiness' and many parents say they prefer nursery to other forms of childcare specifically because they believe, rightly or wrongly, that it "prepares them for school." That means nurseries are increasingly likely to reflect the institutionalising nature of state schooling.

The obvious point is that school is very much about control and rigid timetables: you do what you’re told, when you're told, how you’re told. No surprise then if this institutionalised behaviour is becoming more common in nurseries. Bear in mind, government ministers make no secret of the fact they’d like all children under the control of the coercive state schooling system at two years of age if only they could find a way to resource it.

IGiorni · 13/09/2018 17:00

That is ridiculous. Some of the 3 year olds where I work struggle to sit down for more than a few minutes with an activity to do, never mind laying down in silence for half an hour! I think I would struggle to do that as an adult if I wasn’t tired. You are not being unreasonable at all, I’ve never known a nursery force children to lay down. Quieter activities while the others are sleeping, fine, but that’s just over the top. Even if they have limited staff, there will need to be someone in the room at least so surely they could put some jigsaws, drawing, books, play dough etc out nearby?!

SoyDora · 13/09/2018 17:02

Absolutely no chance my 3 year old would lie down quietly for half an hour! She hasn’t napped for well over a year and would be bored out of her brain. She’s happily play with Lego quietly on her own though.
Not sure what they can do if they don’t have resources to supervise her though.

ConsiderHerWaysAndOthers · 13/09/2018 17:04

From what I understand from my nieces and nephews this is normal for the first few years of school in France!! And they do not give an inch on it either. It’s ridiculous though, do they not have the staff resources to sit her somewhere with a quiet activity like colouring etc.? She surely can’t be the only one that doesn’t nap at her age...

yikesanotherbooboo · 13/09/2018 17:15

Why do you not want her to have nap?
If it is that you don't think she will be quiet and will disturb the other children I would leave the nursery workers to resolve, if you think she will be told off for normal behaviour then you may have an underlying problem with the institution.
FWIW only 1 of my three were napping at this age; that was my very busy middle child who raced around for hours and then conked out for a while. The others might have sat quietly for a while I'm not sure.
This sort of set up ie getting the little beds out or mats for a lie down after lunch used to be quite normal in nursery schools for 4 year olds when I was a child in uk.

Bubblysqueak · 13/09/2018 17:20

At 3.5 the nursery should be encouraging them to stay awake rather than nap ready for school. I've never known nurserys insist on children lying down yes quiet activities but not lying down.

InTheNavy · 13/09/2018 17:23

Sounds like a bad idea all round. If she doesn't need a nap but gets into the habit of one, it will disrupt her night sleep pattern/ bedtime routine.
Also, for those who really do need a nap- 30mins is prob not enough... They'd just be dropping into a nice deep sleep cycle then have to get up again...

InTheNavy · 13/09/2018 17:23

And terrible preparation for school...

Chocolatecoffeeaddict · 13/09/2018 17:30

I used to work in a nursery and they did this. The children that were not sleeping used to lie in a darkened room and listen to classical music for about half an hour. This was a chance for them to relax and calm down but was mainly a chance for staff members to go on their lunch break.
Some children liked it more than others but all were encouraged to do it, as all children were encouraged to stick to the nursery routine. The day would run more smoothly if all children were following the same routine.
However they should never be forced to do it and quiet activities should also be provided. I would provide the blanket and let the nursery get on with it.

Mindchilder · 13/09/2018 18:15

Staffing issue. They probably have 26 children, a teacher and a ta and the adults need a break.

MichonnesBBF · 13/09/2018 18:22

I work in a nursery setting with 26 kids each session with 1 teacher and 1 TA, we have no quiet time,
Occasionally a child may fall asleep naturally during story/circle time or even just fall asleep playing, We just put them somewhere safe (usually reading area as lots of cushions and blankets), it certainly is not planned as all ready stated this is not supporting 'School Ready'.

villainousbroodmare · 13/09/2018 18:23

My 3yo loves his playschool nap (they get an hour or more if they seem to need it) and so do I... he's a much nicer kid in the evening if he has slept in the day. He hasn't napped at home for about a year; hence weekend evenings are tough. That's irrelevant to you... but what is the harm in a bit of quiet time? She can rest or read or wander about 'helping' to tidy up... you do sound like the very epitome of 'that parent'.

HeadsDownThumbsUpEveryone · 13/09/2018 18:37

She can rest or read or wander about 'helping' to tidy up

Except she can't because they have explicitly stated that all the children lie down for 30min whether they nap or not, if she could do quiet activities there would be no problem.

Just because she is at Nursery does not mean they get to dictate that she has a nap, it's a terrible routine to get into especially hen she will be at school next year.

villainousbroodmare · 13/09/2018 18:43

Okay, cancel the wandering then! But really, what harm in thirty minutes of quiet time? These kids won't be at school for a year yet. I'm sure they can adjust. It's not the battle I'd pick myself.

WindDoesNotBreakTheBendyTree · 13/09/2018 19:00

Most childcare settings do a variation on this.
I don't think there is anything wrong with the notion of "quiet time" but my 2 elder children had each given up daytime naps by the time they turned two.
They need to provide another "quiet" activity - books, music or story through headphones, colouring.

WindDoesNotBreakTheBendyTree · 13/09/2018 19:03

If they don't have the resources to supervise the children in their care, they shouldn't be running a nursery.

Tumbleweed101 · 14/09/2018 07:03

Depending on the setting some children could be there for a long day we’re open 7-6 and some children do those hours. That might be why they do this.

beingsunny · 14/09/2018 07:10

This is pretty standard in my experience.

If they don't nap (my son gave that up when he turned 2) they usually sit and read on their beds for half an hour.

BingerGeer · 14/09/2018 07:47

I credit enforced quiet time with my kids being good readers. There just isn’t a downside in learning to sit quietly with a book or some other quiet activity for half an hour.

I think pushing children to be school ready a year early is ridiculous - they’ve got another third of their lives to go until school starts, and anyway if they start school needing a nap they will either adjust or have a quiet snooze in the book corner as needed. It’s not worth spending a year trying to avoid!

HeadsDownThumbsUpEveryone · 14/09/2018 08:43

There just isn’t a downside in learning to sit quietly with a book or some other quiet activity for half an hour.

I agree learning to be have some quiet time would be fine and if the OP thought that they would let her read or do a quiet activity then she wouldn't have an issue. The problem here seems to be the expectation that the only options are nap or lie quietly for 30 minutes. There is no other option for quiet activities like colouring or reading.

I know as an adult I would find lying down for 30 minutes when not tired pretty dull. Additionally whilst I agree it is not all about being ready for school, surely nursery settings should be child led? If she doesn't need a nap now, why start enforcing her to have one which could lead to her struggling more at school.

yikesanotherbooboo · 14/09/2018 08:50

I completely agree withBinger that the notion of school ready a year before reception actually starts is nonsense.
It's hard enough for the just 4s to concentrate all day, control their feelings and behaviour etc whilst milling about with 30 others no need to try to put just 3 year olds through it.
School ready means going to the loo unaided, managing without a one to one adult, shoes and coat on, listening to instructions , being able to sit quietly for a while and having some impulse control.All these skills develop over the nursery year ideally. Quiet time after lunch won't interfere.
When my oldest started school , whole days were for the children with autumn birthdays only. The spring term birthdays stayed all day after Xmas etc. When they started I would come to pick up to see a little pile of 4 and 5 year olds slumped on the floor waiting for their carer, they adapted within weeks. Why enforce this earlier ? It feels like going against nature.( sorry if ranty it's a bit of a bugbear of mine)

HSMMaCM · 15/09/2018 06:52

Yikes - me too. If you don't think they'll be ready at 4/5, then why try and make them do it earlier. Let them be children.

I agree with quiet time, but not enforced lying down.

insancerre · 15/09/2018 09:04

If this nurserys routine and ethos doesn’t suit you then look for another one

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