Nursery question!

[Imoanimoanimoan]

Hello!

I am brand new to all this message board stuff so you may have to bear with me.

I have a little girl that will be 2 in November. Currently she is with me 4 days a week and grandparents 3 days a week. In the new year we are thinking of starting her in nursery 2 days a week as I may need to up my days at work from 3 to 4. The grandparents said they are more than happy to have her for the extra day which I know is really kind but I don't know if I like the idea of that. My sister's children go to nursery and get on well so I can only see it as a good thing in a lot of ways, but then the guilt pangs come around and I feel like it's not the right thing to do given I have a choice which a lot of people don't.

I have read a lot online about best and worst ages for children to start nursery and it's all a bit too much to digest so I thought I would ask for some real like opinions!

So.....
Does anyone have any pros/cons to sending your child to nursery (especially at this age)?

If you had a choice of alternative child care (grandparents)...would you choose that over nursery?

Is it normal to feel like every decision you make regarding your child is the wrong one?!

Thanks in advance for your help! I really look forward to any replies!

I would choose nursery. I think then she would have a nice mixture of family and nursery.

That's what we're going to be doing.

Nursery! Perfect mix of family and nursery, as mentioned above.

Nursery will be nice and stimulating without being overwhelming.

Oh yes! Every decision is agonising! I still wonder if my 16 year old went to the right primary school!
My youngest starts Reception tomorrow and I’m agonising over the choice of school for him!

I live in constant doubt!

I think it's sounds like a nice mix, but I'd be tempted to start nursery sooner rather than later, as I think the period between age 2 and 3 is the hardest for settling into new childcare. That's just based on anecdotal evidence from friends, though.....

I'd choose nursery, the playing with other children and getting into a little routine with nursery really helped both of mine.

I would go for starting her at nursery too. Will allow her to start socialising and making friends and gain some independence too!

Also, re: family care, my son had always done 1 day per week with his grandparents until 3 1/2, when I then increased his nursery days (and dropped the grandparent care) to help him getting ready for school. My point is, that you may want to start her 2 days at nursery and as she gets older start to decrease this a little.

Is it normal to feel like every decision you make regarding your child is the wrong one?!

Yep. Completely. There's no way to get it "right", even if you SAH, so you just have to pick the option that seems best to you and crack on.

I've used a (shared) nanny since my son was 10 months and now I wonder whether it's going to be harder on him starting school than I'd he'd been in nursery since an early age. Personally I'd do nursery, but then I would not want to be in the position of being massively indebted to family for childcare and not really being able to say how I wanted things done when I'm getting care for free.

She'll be fine either way. As long as you can afford it, do the 2 days at nursery and ask the grandparents if they would be emergency backup care. Also say if they want to take her somewhere special on a nursery day, that's fine. It'll make them still feel wanted and needed without monopolising their time.

If she's miserable at nursery, go back to the grandparent plan and try again later (making sure you leave enough time for her to settle in).

I did the opposite of what everyone else recommends - combination of me/grandparents then pre-pre school for 2 mornings a week, but only when he was 3. He had no problems setting into school now he's 5. I believe in a couple of primary carers wherever possible and really don't see the need for "socialisation" when they're under 3.

Hero, I agree they don't need to go, but sometimes they like to go and sometimes grandparents get tired, or don't want to take them out to meet other children.

I also believe they don't need to go when they're 3. They have years ahead of them if dealing with all the highs and lows of social interaction. Just let them do it when they're ready.

I'd definitely say nursery. My DD is 2.5, I SAH/am a carer for her (she's disabled), but she still goes 1.5 days a week, she's come on so much there, learnt a huge amount, and absolutely loves it. She can do all the messy stuff that i hate doing at home there! I do think a lot depends on the child though, and you know your little one best.

My daughter started at age 1, which was too early for her in my opinion... i was back at work so had no choice. Around 18 months, shortly after she was diagnosed with her disability i stopped work and cut her down to two mornings a week from two full days, which seemed a good balance, as she'd started to settle well there, and i was seeing a lot of the positives then. From around age 2 she really started getting the benefit from it. We've had to make a lot of hard decisions for her in her little life so far, but her going off to nursery is one of the ones I'm confident i got right!

I saw this in active, I think on the nurseries board everyone will say nursery but in chat you’d get a range.

If the grandparents were happy to do a few playgroups and went to the park etc I’d chose grandparents any day, as long as she wasn’t just stuck indoors. Kids settle regardless when they need to, there’s no big rush if it’s working and there’s no need to spend money. She’ll have lovely memories of time with them which she’ll treasure. I’d chose nursery only if you worried about a lack of stimulation in their care.

Two of mine started school with no nursery, one with nursery from 6 months and one with nursery from 18months. Their characters caused a bit of difference but overall they are all social and happy and settled. The younger ones have actually chosen Home Ed now we can, and are still happy and focused.

Wow thanks for all the responses...all really helpful! It's nice to hear that a lot of people have had good experience with nursery. It sounds silly with the grandparents thing but I always worry about my little girl spending more time with them that she does with me. They are great but quite full on and I think I would feel like they are bringing her up if that makes sense!