DD doesnt want to move to the next unit

[micegg]

My 20 month old DD has been going to nursery twice a week since she was 9 months old. She settled well in to the baby room and had no problems settling in to the next room. The nursery have now started to move her to the next toddler room. I am happy about this as they do more toddler type activities (like cooking) which I know she will enjoy. However, its not going well and I dont know how to deal with it as its come as a bit of a shock. I just expected her to settle straight in as she had done previously. The nursery have been rea;y good just taking her in to the new room for a few hours at a time but she just sits on one staff members lap and cries. It breaks my heart to be sitting at work thinking of her like this. This reaction to changing rooms coincides with her becoming much more clingier to me in particular (calls 'mummy' when my DH tries to bath her and cries when I go to work). This has turned into a bit of a rant but I am so upset. I was going to give her one more go next week and if she is the same ask the nursery to delay until she is through her clingy phase. However, I am wanderng whether this is a phase. Maybe this is just the way she is now. Have any of you experienced this with kids of a similar age? Would you advise perisiting with the nursery trying to introduce her to the new room?

DD has (and still is, to some extent) going through something similar - she's 3 however. She was always okay with the kind of settling-in visits you're describing, because she always went with one or more of her little friends. However when she moved for good, they moved her two days before her particular friend, and she was devastated, and has been somewhat unsettled ever since. Her big problem when she was first full-time in the pre-school unit was transitioning from one space to another - pre-school room to garden, back in again, to the lunch room, etc. Obviously our DDs are very different ages and stages, but I do still wonder if the moving about from her current room to the new room might be part of the problem?

I really sympathise with how much of a shock it is - DD had been in nursery for TWO AND A HALF YEARS with tears on only three occasions, we thought we had it all sussed out, and then we had weeks of crying and sadness. Even now we get 'I don't like going to nursery', but we also get eg photos of her playing with ice cubes and giggling her head off, so we know she's okay.

I wonder if it would help if one of her little friends from the previous toddler room moved with her at the same time.Perhaps the nursery could hang on for a few weeks until this could happen. Also the staff could try and bring her into the new room, for just one activity that she really likes, and then take her back afterwards. I'm sure she'll settle in the end, but the nursery should go gently with her, and at her pace.I do sympathise, my ds who's 2.3, was recently moved into a new room with older children, and although he wasn't really distressed, he seemed to withdraw from the others and play alone a lot more, but he's fine now, after a month or so.

thanks for your messages. I am going to see how she is on Tuesday and if its still the same I might ask the nursery to leave it a few more weeks. Unfortunately the girl she is most attached to (calls her name between sobs in the new room ) is too young to go with her and probably wouldnt move for a few months.

We had a little girl at Nursery who sobbed her little heart out when she moved rooms.
We had done all the usual short visits to the other room and she seemed to be ok.
but what we hadnt accounted for was her best friend who wouldnt be moving up yet.
both little girls cried all the time, so i spoke to both parents and we all agreed that the other little girl would move up as well.
This was the best solution for us (luckily we had enough spaces inu the big room)

Thanks nursery voice. It's good to get a perspective from the nurserys side. They did kind of suggest this the other day but the other girl is quite alot younger than my DD. There is a boy of the same age who is off at the moment. My DD and him started the same day and only have 2 weeks between them in age. I may ask the nursery when he is going and whether we could delay DD until he goes. At least that way she will know someone. The nursery are really great so I am sure something will work out. Her dad went to the work this morning and she hardly raised an eyeborw but when i go she scream the place down. Must be all tied in to some attachment phase. Who knows.