DH disagreeing with me...

[WaitingRoom1]

Went to view a lovely nursery today. DH couldn't come (boring story).

It's AMAZING. But an extra £50 per month compared to other nurseries.

Really frustrated as he wants to save the £50 and send our baby to a cheaper and not as good nursery. We will both be paying for this so it's only an extra £25 a month each and we are both on good wages. He thinks the money can be spent on something else.

What would you do in a situation like this? Where you can't agree? Both agree that it's the best nursery but he's not willing to part with the extra £25.

Im frustrated by it and don't want to give in and send our baby to a good but not quite AS good nursery. He won't back down ether and thinks the money is more important (first child and we make £65k a year between us with small mortgage and minor outgoings. He has a DD who is in school and he pays maintenance for).

WWYD?

I'm also dropping my hours at work, which whilst this will be part of my contribution to childcare, I'm also sacrificing some pension, annual leave, part of my bonus, promotion opportunity etc etc. It seems unfair that I'm doing this and he won't sacrifice £25...

Feel like I should've put this is AIBU but that topic scares me a bit...

Would and do still pay the extra. Having great childcare is invaluable.

When I told him it would be close to £180 a week he nearly fell off his chair. I feel like he's completely naive regarding the costs of childcare... I'm worrying now that this is going to be a trend and that he's just going to scrimp on everything important...

I'd pay the extra myself.

Not ideal but DC comes first

What would I do? I think I'd consider leaving if he was being so tight over £25, and I'm not even joking.

Nothing more important to me than my DCs.

Yep if you think the care is better there then I would pay the extra.

Gosh this is a tough one. I think I'd be inclined to pay it myself (the £50) but that's a really rubbish solution (and an indicator of why I'm getting divorced maybe......) Presumably you can both afford the extra £25? What are his reasons for choosing the cheaper one?

Practically speaking can you arrange another tour of the more expensive nursery that you prefer and get him to go along this time? He might agree if he sees the place in person and understands what makes it so great.

As for the fact that he’s rather save £25 than go with the best possible nursery... I’m not exactly sure what to say other than he’s a tight bastard who should be putting his child(ren) first And I wouldn’t sacrifice your career for him either, sounds like you’re going to need access to your own money if he’s that mean and controlling with his.

I've posted this in AIBU... oh god....

Thanks all for responses so far...

In what way is the nursery better?

Most men haven't got a clue about childcare costs or that there are good nurseries and not so good nurseries. Stand your ground OP.

Lega it's huge but small number of children. Higher ratio of staff to children. Ofsted outstanding for years and years. Food nappies wipes included. Longer opening hours. It's just a fabulous nursery...

Yanbu. if food, nappies, wipes aren’t included in the other nursery it’s not £50 more expensive as you will have to provide and they cost money. Work out how much. And is he going to be doing pick ups at early times to compensate?

If you're getting more hours and more included in the price, then your actually saving money aren't you? Do you have to pay half each for a pack of nappies etc too?

Basically, he will be doing pick ups to fit around his work.

I am dropping hours, therefore dropping pension, annual leave etc. I'm compressing my hours so I'm working mega long hours 4 days a week to then have a day off without having to drop too many hours. I'm doing school runs for his son. I am walking our dog in between. I'll be compressing my hours further when I return back from mat leave.

He just has to do 3/4 pick ups a week after work. That's it. Am I a fool?