Nursery for 17 month old???

[RazberryRuffles]

Hi everyone!

I am totally new to mumsnet so please excuse me for any faux pas!

I have been considering nursery 2 afternoons per week for my DD and am really really tore up over it...

Bit of background; DD is 17 months old, very very sociable, spends 3 days per week with her grandmothers whilst I am at work, however, she seems to get really really bored and then the tantrums follow...! I adore my daughter and love spending my days off with her but also I feel that she isn’t getting enough of what she needs in terms of socialising etc, I have to do boring stuff like shopping/housework/generally keeping us all alive on my 2 days off as all of you ladies will know! I do try and do something fun with her when I am off, painting, going to the park, walking the dog and we do spend lots of time outdoors of a weekend when my husband and I are off work but I just feel she may need that little bit more stimulation.

She loves other kids and will literally walk up to strange kids and chatter away to them and thinks they’re friends for life! I am really really split over it and on the one hand think she will absolutely love it and will thrive but the other part of me is ripped to shreds worrying she is too young and what if she thinks I’ve abandoned her and all of that stuff?

Meh sorry if that is a ramble! I’m new to all of this!

Basically I just wondered what you ladies think? The afternoons in nursery are purely to give her some social time with other kids and getting to do the fun stuff I don’t always get time to do with her when I’m off work.

Thanks
Sam xx

Doesn’t she nap in the afternoons at 17m? I’d put her in nursery some of the time your mum has her instead and keep her time with you.

I would. If you can afford to and she would enjoy it, then yes, go for it. Would give you a chance to get stuff done too!

Alternatively, a regular toddler group could work? Or a class?

Personally I'd send her to a nursery instead of spending the day with granny. Let her do all that stuff then and then she'll probably be more willing to chill out at home then the days you're off.

My youngest son stopped napping at 18 months Georgie. Not every child naps in the afternoons.

Whenever my children have been in nursery for half days if feels like I can't get anything done because by the time i have dropped them off it's almost time to collect them (or so it feels). I have two days off with my 16 month old (although he's in nursery for the other 3 days) and we do things in the morning (toddler group one day and swimming the other) and then I get house stuff done in the afternoon. We get whatever isn't done in the day sorted in the evening and shop online.

I do agree that I'd use nursery on a granny day.

It was a question

Thank you for the replies!

Yeah she naps 11:30-13:30 each day without fail so this is something I have considered as she is in a really really good routine so would hate to mess it up! and the afternoon slot is 2pm-6pm, I'd rather the afternoon slot as the morning one is from 7:30am!! Seems a bit too early!

One afternoon would be the afternoon she is with my mum and the other would be a day I am off, I thought this would work as I could do all that boring house stuff the afternoon she is in nursery and then focus solely on her the rest of the time I am off!

At the risk of sounding horrible, I hate play groups I am so shy and have become really antisocial and I really don't want this to rub off on her cos she is such a little social butterfly!

Thanks for this ladies!

How are your little ones for a whole day in nursery? Do they seem to be ok? I was just worried it was too long a day for her that was all and why I was leaning towards the afternoons, I know what you mean about the afternoons though it seems as though the time flies!

It’s a good idea but 2 afternoons a week can be confusing for little ones and they sometimes struggle to settle. As a result places won’t take them for so few hours. Personally I’d do at least 2 full days at a minimum if you feel she’d benefit or leave it until she’s a bit older. But if you have a nursery in mind I’d ask them and see what they think.

Will do!
Thank you all ladies xx

Sorry that should read some places won’t take them for so few hours, DD’s nursery included, they no longer offer half days for this reason.

Why not do two shorter days, say 8-4 or 8-3. Yes you are paying for 7:30--6 or whatever it is, but that doesn't matter in some respects. Pay for it and use it how you wish.

My DS was fine with 8-5 at nursery but on the ocassions where he did 8-6 he was a bit tired, but in good spirits.

My son went to pre school two half days a week from 2. They are only 3 hr sessions, and well spaced through the week. It did him a lot of good. He's 3 now and will be doing 2.5 days from next week.

I work in nurseries and would not recommend just afternoons as children get tired and parents tend to leave them right to the last minute to get their monies worth. The last couple of hours are a bit of a wind down as most children will have been there all day and the staff have tidying up chores to do and staff start to go home
You would be better sending her for a day but don’t feel you have to drop her at 7.30
We don’t really do much till 9.30 when all the children are in and the staff have all arrived
If it was down to me I wouldn’t offer afternoon sessions to children younger than preschool as they really don’t benefit from being in nursery, but we offer flexibility and go with what parents want

Does your mum take your DD to the park or playgroups? How do you know your DD is bored? Don't blame her tantrums on your mum! At 17 months she's being constantly stimulated by everything around her, she needs downtime as well as playtime.
When she's with your mum does she have age appropriate toys to play with? Duplo, blocks, play kitchen equipment etc.
Her nap time will soon move to later on so she'll be napping early afternoon.
If you must put her in nursery do it in the mornings but meantime be grateful you have good free childcare from your mum.

I think that's a good age to start. They really are starting to wake up to other kids at that age. But I'd do a longer day. Gets then used to napping elsewhere. (and they do, god knows how, but they do nap at nursery, must be magic)

Our Nursery was open 7:30-6 but I started ds at 10-4 as a baby then gradually moved to 9-5 then finally 8:30-5:30.
But saying that I wouldn’t use less than two days as only once a week is too seldom and I wouldn’t want to put him in all day if I were off work as I enjoyed going out places.

Llangennith - I want to be clear I am not blaming anything whatsoever on my mum so I have no idea how you have come to that conclusion?! I am saying she has tantrums when she gets bored - with me, because I have other things to do such as shopping/cleaning which unfortunately have to be done and can't be put off all the time, therefore I was looking for an alternative for her so she didn't have to get to the pint of boredom! I am eternally grateful to my mum and my mother in law for all they do, this wasn't a dig at any of them and I know how lucky I am.

Yes, she has plenty of age appropriate things to play with at both grandparents houses and at our home. However, I am sure most of you with bright 17 month olds know that they're rarely interested in the stuff that they are allowed to play with and would rather play with things other than toys!

I was merely looking for some advice from other mums as to whether or not they have experience in afternoons at nursery etc, I do not have to put my daughter in nursery, it's a choice, as I think she may benefit however I am worried that it might not work for her, hence my post!

I can see why people don't bother with forums such as this when people like you come along!

Thanks to those of you whom have offered helpful advice and....to those who haven't!

If it was down to me I wouldn’t offer afternoon sessions to children younger than preschool as they really don’t benefit from being in nursery, but we offer flexibility and go with what parents want

Most people use nurseries because they go to work, so no idea how your proposal would work. It's not the flexibility parents want, it's what's needed.

@insancerre have you got any evidence (other than purely anecdotal) to back up your claims that nursery isn't beneficial prior to pre-school age?

Op absolutely nothing wrong with putting your child in nursery for the reasons you've stated. My DS went one day a week at 6 months ( he was a terrible sleeper and we had zero family support) then full time from 10 months when i returned to work. He's absolutely thrived.

I wouldnt bother. Take her to a local toddler group, or baby classes some mornings; food shop online, and at the weekend have a few hours housework while dh takes her somewhere.

I think your plans are fine really - a couple of afternoons a week sounds fine to me. See how your dd likes it, you can overthink these things.

Blaa
I didn’t say that
I said that under 3s didn’t really get anything out of doing afternoon sessions because of the reasons I stated

Nerr
I know why people use nurseries
I’ve worked in them for over 2 decades
But thanks for the explanation

Don't worry she's not too young at all.

I put my ds in nursery 2 mornings a week from age 16 months
It was to give me a little break when I was in late stages of my 2nd pregnancy.

I'll be continuing it as, he loves it (he cried at drop offs at first). But he gets to do all kinds of messy play that I don't want to do at home!

I put him in the mornings and adjusted his naps so that he now naps in the afternoon (like most toddlers) when he gets back from nursery and it gives me a further couple of hours to do house work or have time with my second baby.

I'd say go for it

Childrne need some time to paly themselves and be boared it stimulates creativity and imagination rather than being spoon fed one activity after another so don't feel bad about having to do chores while you have her just balance the time and get her engaged with you matching socks, copying you with her own broom etc. and give her some time in between jobs, then set aside some activity time. tantrums are normal at this age (used to be called the terrible 2's but starts much earlier) its a way of her trying to get some control nota sign she is needing more activity but her starting to test boundaries.
If you are wanting formal childcare to benefit her I don't see the point of sending her when she is going to sleep through about an hour of it or be too tiered to get anything form it, or you paying when you don't need it. Id look at mornings.
If you want activities what about library story time? Sure start classes like messy time when you can be together?