Is there any help for Childcare Costs

[SPR1107]

I know I'm clutching at straws, but just making sure I'm not missing something hidden that could help us.

We have a combined income of £45k at the moment; we have a mortgage, car loan, small monthly credit card payments from our wedding, and then the usual utilities, phone bills, shopping, fuel, insurances etc. My husbands wage covers all the bills except child care, which leaves us with around £80 per month disposable.

Childcare is £650 at the moment, which is the part I cover, leaving us with around £200 disposable from my wages. However I'm pregnant with number 2 and my maternity pay will not cover DS nursery fees.

I'm worried, as I don't want to unsettle him, and take him out of nursery. Equally, I feel like he'll gain more going to nursery and sticking to his routine, particularly until we've all found our feet again with a newborn.

I also don't want to give up my job, because I don't want to give up a good job, in a perfect location, in fear that when I am able to go back to work, I'm unable to get a job.

But also, my wage wouldn't cover two in nursery!

What would you do? Is there some sort of help we could be getting at all? My DS will be receiving the 30 hours next September, but this still leaves us with payable fees, that are more than what are covered by SMP.

Would I be foolish to take out a loan / interest free credit card to keep DS nursery ticking over? How do people do it??

Do you claim your tax allowance for childcare? It replaced the vouchers.

Can’t really help. We’ve reduced our daughters nursery from 3 days to 1 while I’m on maternity to save money but keep her in. It’s unsettled her a bit to be honest - she’s less good at going on nursery day but I hope it pays off in the long run over taking her out (plus gives me some time with the little one alone!)

Lots of nurseries do sibling discount - this with 30 hours could work. I’m also considering changing providers (not only due to costs but new one would be cheaper so something to consider)

Sorry I forgot to add, at the moment we claim the vouchers, but we will be switching to the tax free, as the saving is slightly better, albeit only by a small amount.

Unfortunately, I couldn't change him to a cheaper nursery, as we had major issues in the first nursery I sent him to, and this nursery he settled immediately and has a great bond with his carers.

I feel as though I will be making him take steps back if I remove or reduce his hours also. He has come on an unexplainable amount since being there, and I worry if he's not being challenged in the same way, he'll become (more) mischievous!

I also agree with the time with a newborn, I an uninterrupted year with DS and I want to be able to create a similar bond and memories with baby number 2

when are you thinking of going back to work? and how much will the nursery cost then ?
could you reduce his hours until the 30hrs kick in ...?
or go back to work earlier?
or use a childminder - maybe cheaper and easier with a baby

I suggest looking at a month by month family budget over 18months - with everything in ...can you reduce shopping? theres lots of budget advice for saving money on food bills/bulk cooking etc on mumsnet and elsewhere... bf if you can saves a fortune...

Everyone I knew just scrimped and scrimped during the expensive bit with 2nd - didnt buy anything new for no.2 etc and made the most of having the time with 2 at home as cheaper....most reduced nursery hours but kept some although a lot stopped and just started again at school nursery or found local preschool that did short half day sessions as cheaper...

I would make sure you can go back to work ! it does get easier once 1 at school !

I would really try and not get more debt if you can avoid it....

Stop thinking of it as you paying nursery, you are paying it as part of a couple, it is an investment in your future earning potential.

Go through your finances with a fine tooth comb and see what you can cut. Can you get rid of your credit card debt?

If you have not already then join a cashback site. I have just got £36 (via top cash back) for using uswitch to find a cheaper electricity supplier, and of course I also get cheaper bills.

Things like insurance can be less when you are on maternity leave as there is someone in the house, just remember to change it back when you go back to work.

When does your MN leave start? Will you be able to claim any tax back?

Have you and your dh asked your employers about salary sacrifice? It could make a difference.

Yeah I agree with the debt thing @averythinline, it petrifies me.. until our wedding we never had a bit of debt (mortgage excluded), then when fell pregnant with DS, had to get a bank loan for a bigger car, so just worried that this will end up getting on top of us.

Unfortunately I don't produce breast milk, so cant BF, otherwise would've definitely been trying that.

I had a year off with DS, but will be going back to work as soon as the paid period ends with second baby.

I have irrational fears with a childminder, it's my child's word against theirs once that door is closed (I know it's silly), but with a nursery, there's usually always another person around. And don't have to worry about having to find alternative arrangements if a childminder was ever poorly or on holiday. Also, we did look for DS and when we broke it down, the amount was around 5p per hour different.

I have signed him up for preschool to start next September, we were looking at this being an additional day, so he met children in the local area before school, as the nursery isn't local. However, he would only be able to do this when I'm not working, because they can only go 9-3, which does not suit my working hours. And if I was to spread my hours over the week for him to do this, it would mean new babies nursery fees would have to increase, as it would be over more days, so just wouldn't be worth it.

We kept all our babies things, so wouldn't need anything new, and will definitely be cutting back on food shopping, and cancelling things like sky and Spotify. But all these little things seem like a drop in the ocean.

I know lots of people are in the same position, I just find it so frustrating that I'm wanting to work, and wanting to pay my own way, but can hardly keep up head above water (slightly dramatic of me, I know!)

Does your dc1 do 5 days? Or less. I’d definitely consider reducing days at nursery - if he’s 5 or 4 maybe down to 2, 3 or 2 down to 1. It’s a big expense you don’t need and he’ll still develop at home with you and baby and have some time in nursery.

He's doing 3 days per week at the moment. I just worry that there won't be space for him to increase the hours when I go back to work, and I don't want him to feel he's constantly being asked to be quiet, or feel he is always waiting for whatever he's asking of me because of the baby. I guess a lot of it, is also me worrying how a new baby will affect him. I'm sure when baby arrives it will all fall in to place

I agree with calculating it as you paying half each, not that all the childcare comes out of your wage.

Can you go back to work and look at getting a promotion? After our second arrived I pushed and got a promotion making enough to cover the increase in childcare. It meant we were no worse off.

Sorry I should've been clearer @HSMMaCM I don't 'pay' for it all, it's just when I was on maternity leave, my husbands wages covered absolutely every bill, when I went back to work, we just continued to look at it like that but with my wage being the one that covers the childcare. Both wages are combined, we just still word it that way from my previous maternity leave

Yeah, it's been discussed already @Want2bSupermum. But the issue would be it would have to be full time, which would increase childcare costs. The reason we're taking the financial hit now, is because I do want to develop my career further, and didn't want to keep stop/starting. So our plan was to take the hit, then hope that as our children start school, I can go full steam ahead on the career side

We had to reduce my eldest's nursery days from 3 to 1 while I was on maternity leave as we couldn't afford it. The nursery we're fine to increase again when I went back to work. I would have preferred him to stay in for 3 days but just couldn't afford it.

@Bobbybobbins did you find it affected him in anyway? Like his behaviour / routine etc?
Do you feel like you were able to get the same bond with the second baby as you did with the first?
We're the many groups that suited both ages? I have friends with younger babies, and we really struggle to find groups round here to suit both ages

If going FT means you get a promotion sooner helping your family financially seriously consider asking family to help. We are expatriated and my dad and PIL flew in during crunch times in my career. My dad has paid for my sisters childcare as she needed an au pair and daycare with her long hours. It's made a huge difference for them and now she has had her promotions she earns enough to pay everything herself.

If family can't help financially is their a granny or grandpa who could take one of them for one day a week?

My eldest was only 1 when DS2 was born so he was still a baby too really - I don't think he remembers not having a brother. It was harder getting out and about so we had people over more which helped. I had special toys for DS1 when I was feeding DS2.

@Want2bSupermum I come from a family of 20+ (that's just immediate family), and everyone of working age, works full time. My mum is 63 and still works full time as a social worker, and my dad is 56 and also works full time. Unfortunately, neither are planning to retire any time soon.
My parents don't know that I'm pregnant yet though, so I do wonder if my Mum would push again to reduce her hours, she tried when I was going back to work after my first baby but they were declined, so hopefully better luck this time.
Maybe when they find out, it'll be time to sit down and have a chat with them about it all

If you dont want to move him then I would suggest dropping down to 2 days ....maybe tell the nursery you will increase again but yes it is a bit of a risk but I would rather be financially clear and also make teh most of the time with him before he goes to school...its a great age .

The biggest affect on him will be a sibling full stop much more than a day less at nursery and maybe getting some more mummy time himself will be an upside - I would look for a group/activity that is more aimed at him rather than the baby and that can be his mummy/music/singing/toddler gym day ....rather than a day not at nursry - generally babies can be more flexible (lots brought sibs to the toddler gym thing we went to .... and organised feed/nap time and they all snoozed in a row ! at the end of the hall..

SPR I have assumed you are in an office job. What really has helped me out is having help in the morning and with pick up. If they live close by, having someone who can do pick up 1-2 hours a week is a huge help too.