Ds crying when not at nursery

[Grewia]

Ds is 10 Months and started nursery 3 weeks ago. He goes 4 days a week and seems to love it, he’s all excited and kicking when we arrive, big smiles for the ladies who look after him, and he really loves his key worker. When we arrive to collect him, he is sometimes engrossed in something and doesn’t register that we are there, other times he’s all smiles and kisses. But when we get home he cries pretty much constantly until bedtime, and when I do nursery drop offs (not when DH does them) he cries between 6am and drop off, to the extent that I can’t put him down and he just wants to feed constantly (breastfed at home and expressed milk during the day). I don’t work Fridays and when he was at home (Fri-Sun) he’s crying pretty much constantly again.

Has anyone else had this? Is it separation anxiety?
He doesn’t nap much when he’s there, so I did wonder if it’s that he’s exhausted by home time.

It’s really starting to wear me down because it feels like he’s happier when I’m not there, nursery always tell me how happy he is and he’s not like this for DH, I just can’t seem to soothe him and he’s barely sleeping. I’m working extra long hours to compress my hours to take a day off with him but now I wonder if he should do fewer days at nursery or more.
Maybe it’s just a settling in thing?

He sounds exhausted. My DS is the same. He’s 11 months and so bloody nosey that he doesn’t sleep at nursery (bar a 20 min nap) so by the time we pick him up he’s so tired. He goes two days a week and spends the next day pretty much sleeping the whole time!

Sounds normal to me but I get that it’s frustrating. Nursery days are so hectic in general that I’m not sure if more sorter days would help more than fewer longer days?

I remember DD being very hyper and grumpy when she got home from the childminder at around that age. I think she was just taking in so many new things during the day that she was a bit overwhelmed. It got a lot better over time.

Agree with others, unfortunately they do tend to get quite tired out when they start. My LO is very cranky when we pick her up.
The needing closeness at home could also be a stage LO is in generally, my LO definitely had times like this even before we started nursery when she was in a leap. Is he in a leap (if you use Wonder Weeks)?

Also sometimes my LO cries when we collect her from nursery, I don't think they're sad to see you or anything it's just a lot of big emotions and I think they get overwhelmed.

Try not to take it personally! It's rubbish when your time at home is affected so much but you're only 3 weeks in and it will get easier as LO adjusts. Try to take comfort in the fact that he's happy while he's there, so you've obviously made a good choice in the nursery you've chosen x