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Am i being selfish

20 replies

missboo · 26/05/2007 23:15

Just looking for a bit of advice or opinions welcome, my DS is 16 months old and was thinking of putting him into a nursery 2 mornings a week . Is this a bit young? i already work one afternoom a week and my mum has him and i also work saturdays and my DH has him so am i being selfish as its not for work purposes i seem to struggle with the day to day things, and he loves being around other kids. half of me thinks its ok the other half thinks i should make the most of him they are not babies for long.

thanks a confused mum

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Chelseamum · 26/05/2007 23:23


You need a break!

As my fammily is not round the corner to help as soon as my dd was 7 months I joined a nursery for 1 day a week.

It is brilliant, as she mixes with other children, do activities we;ve never done at home like messy play, water games, etc

I have time FOR MYSELF.. which is also very important for one's sanity...

She is very happy to see me at the end of theday I love picking her up!

If you can afford it Don;t think about it twice!


madamez · 26/05/2007 23:31

I'm a single mum and I put my DS in nursery for 2 days a week so I could work (I'm self employed doing a variety of things) - it works out as Tuesday is my running around day and Friday is my market day. DS thrives at nursery, and has done pretty much from the beginning: kids do need the company of other kids.

Busybean · 26/05/2007 23:37

not at all, ds1 was 2.6 when he started nursery, ds2 10 months, they both love it there, its a fabtastic nursery thats had the highest ofsted report-outstanding and they have both progressed so so since being there. luckily i managed to find a way to keep them there wheni start uni in sept so so they with both be there till they start school. its really good for them to have other toddler company and interaction and it prepares them well for school. dont feel guilty. i always hink-i dont remember being at nursery/ i doubt my boys will remember it n yrs to come, and hopefully if they do, itll be good memories as ive done my best to provide them with the very best preschool care in my area.

missboo · 27/05/2007 10:03

thanks for the advice i dont feel so guilty now, but as i am new to all this could someone tell me what an ofsted report is?

Also read on another thread that nursery for under 2 was not a good idea as they dont get the one to one they need and this person worked at the nursery!

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HonoriaGlossop · 27/05/2007 11:03

missboo, see how it goes! If your ds is inconsolable and hates it, then because you are at home you may just decide it's not worth it. If he settles well and enjoys it, then you get two mornings to yourself.

I don't think you need feel guilty about this; you are only away from him one day and one afternoon which he spends with adoring family members so that CAN'T be a bad thing for him.

It can feel really healthy for you both to have a break from eachother.

I think the negative things about nursery, eg children under two not thriving in that environment, are really kind of judged on and aimed at children who go 8am - 6pm five days a week. I don't think I would worry about it for two mornings personally.

Hope it goes well.

CristinaTheAstonishing · 27/05/2007 11:26

Not selfish at all. You need some time to do other things and your DS will be well looked after for a very short time overall. What's there to feel guilty about?

ScottishMummy · 27/05/2007 11:35

nursery is beneficial for ur child social cognitive and physical development they get to meet other wee people and u have chance to get a bit of well deserved space

imo go for it

missboo · 27/05/2007 19:48

so what does everybody else get up to during the week?

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edam · 27/05/2007 19:54

Ofsted = office for standards in education or something, the government inspectors who rate schools and nurseries.

cat64 · 27/05/2007 19:55

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madamez · 27/05/2007 19:59

Just to add: my DS went through a stage of crying when I dropped him off at nursery, and I considered taking him out but the staff assured me that he stopped crying within minutes and was ahppy all day (they even gave me a load of photographs they had taken of him happily playing). THen I noticed that he was cheering up almost before I'd got out of the nursery door, so I gritted my teeth and kept taking him there, and now he goes racing in calling out to his friends.

handlemecarefully · 27/05/2007 20:01

No you are not being selfish at all, but please choose your nursery very carefully - at 16 months he is pre-verbal and can't really tell you whether or not he likes it (and ime the quality of nurseries is very variable)

missboo · 27/05/2007 20:10

one of my friends child goes and another is starting but there both a bit older than ds how do i find out ifthe nursery has a good ofsted.

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cat64 · 27/05/2007 22:10

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bambino1 · 28/05/2007 08:08

I put my dd1 in nursery at 8 months for two mornings a week just for some time to myself and she loved it. She is still there now and is off to school next year. I feel the nursery has worked wonders for her and she has made some life long friends.

amidaiwish · 28/05/2007 08:16

no you are not being selfish
you need some time to do "stuff"!
at 16m he will LOVE nursery, just at a time when he is starting to talk etc, the stimulation will be great for him.

just think how better a mummy you will be for having a break. i know i am.

missboo · 28/05/2007 16:37

thanks scottishmummy its temp availble at the mo, so will try a bit later.

Decided to give it a go, so going to pop along tomorrow and have a look my friend has told me not the cleanest of places but they make a real fuss of the children. Which is all i care about really,so i will let you know how it goes and thanks everyone for the advice.

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missboo · 30/05/2007 20:09

man am i pissed off sorry need to let off some steam, made the mistake of telling my mum about putting DS into a nursery for a couple of ours and she said her words excately. that is disgusting out of order and selfish he is far to young.......
and GET THIS its not upto me BUT i just dont agree with it!

so now got major guilt of it.

anyway went to look at one yesterday seemed ok spent an hour there, going back friday to let him have a play, saw one this morning sounded good on paper but had no atmosphere gut reaction didnt like it niether did DS would not let go of me i take this as not a good sign, yesterdays one he went staight off.
also going to another one tomorrow which does the montessori method of learning, does anyone know anything about it ie is it a good or bad thing?

please help a confused missboo

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missboo · 30/05/2007 20:14

ps has anyone ever been to oak house montessori nursery in southed.

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