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Should I change my son's nursery

5 replies

Bluecrystal23 · 05/04/2018 10:35

Hello fellow mummies, first post here. Need your advice please!

So my son who is 16 months old has been going to this nursery 2 days a week for 3 months now. There have been a few little things in the past few weeks that I’m not 100% happy about but I’m not sure if I’m overreacting or they’re truly concerns that require my action. I would really like to hear what you all think.

So first when my husband and I were away I emailed the nursery to tell them my mum will pick my son up in our absence. But instead my mother in law decided she wanted to do it and told my mum not to go. As the two mums are actually really good friends so my mum was not bothered. What surprised me was that the nursery did let my mother in law pick my son up although it was not in my instruction. In fairness my mother in law had been in the nursery with my mum before so the nursery knew it was his grandma.

A couple days ago the nursery called me saying my son was crying none stop for 30 minutes so it’d be best if I came to get him home. When I asked why he was crying they said no we have no idea. He just started crying for no reason. So I went. His little eyes were red from crying but when we got home he was completely fine, not hungry, not in pain and napped well afterwards apart from not wanting to go upstairs. I know the nursery has a bigger babies’ room upstairs where they put kids older than 16 months in if the baby room downstairs gets too busy. So I wonder if they tried to put my son upstairs which upset him. So one day later when I picked him up I just asked if he was upstairs they said YES. So obviously that was the reason that he was crying. I am OK with him crying but I’d prefer the nursery told me the truth and kept me updated if they were going to put him in a different room. Clearly he got upset when they tried to move him out of the room where his friends were. And I’m sure the nursery was fully aware of this but instead they told me they had no idea why my son was crying for such a long time.

Other things like my friend whose son is in the same nursery told me that she saw my son crying but the nursery told me he didn't in the settling-in period. I understand the nursery might just try to make it easier for me but again I’d rather them being honest.

So I’m a bit confused at the moment. Are these things common in a nursery? Am I overreacting to think of changing the nursery? My worry is that my son would have to go through another round of settling-in which he’s not very good at. And if this kind of things happen everywhere then I’m just putting him through difficulty for no reason. Many thanks for your advice/thoughts in advance!

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Littlelambpeep · 05/04/2018 10:40

Three mil collecting - well they knew it was grandma. So I would be ok with that. Changing rooms and not telling you but then you having to collect him because 'they didn't know' - that is lying to save themselves and I wouldnt like that. My sil works in a nursery and that is what happens. It's a money making business at the end of the day. Not saying the staff are not lovely / dedicated but they sound like they are busy - I think if you want more individual attention you need a childminder but that brings other issues (if they are sick the service is closed etc )

Littlelambpeep · 05/04/2018 10:40

Your not three

usernamealreadytaken · 05/04/2018 10:57

So I wonder if they tried to put my son upstairs which upset him. So one day later when I picked him up I just asked if he was upstairs they said YES. So obviously that was the reason that he was crying. I am OK with him crying but I’d prefer the nursery told me the truth and kept me updated if they were going to put him in a different room. Clearly he got upset when they tried to move him out of the room where his friends were. And I’m sure the nursery was fully aware of this but instead they told me they had no idea why my son was crying for such a long time.

To be fair, it is only your assumption that he was crying because of being moved upstairs. As you have said they did not tell you he was going upstairs, he could well have already been there several times without a problem. On the one day later when you picked him up, I assume he had been upstairs without a problem? You were also aware that he was due to be moved as he had reached that age, but chose not to raise this with nursery and plan his transition?

Stroller15 · 05/04/2018 12:08

It's such a difficult thing! It might be worth having a chat with his keyworker or ever the nursery manager first, just saying you would rather like to know than them perhaps feeling they should make things easier for you?
We're moving our son now, the nursery he is in is very very bad with communication (among a LOT of other things) but I would've preferred not to have to move him and settle him in again somewhere else so it's not a decision to take lightly.

winchesterfan · 05/04/2018 12:11

I wouldn't be happy about the mil being allowed to collect rather than who you had said. I worked In a nursery and we would have been in serious trouble if we had allowed a child to go home with someone other that who we had been told were collecting, regardless if we knew them or not, it would be seen as a safeguarding incident.

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