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3yo DD 'gone off' nursery

5 replies

DontCallMeBaby · 10/05/2007 09:26

DD is 3.2, more or less, and has been in nursery three days a weeks since she was six months old. It's a lovely nursery, and she has always been absolutely fine there - quite contented as a baby and obviously happy as she got older and more expressive.

However this stopped a couple of months ago. She moved from the room between toddlers and pre-school, which has children from just over two years until their third birthday, up to pre-school. There are a number of issues with this - it's upstairs, whereas toddlers and the next room up are downstairs, and they are all dropped off in the one room, so she'd been dropped off in the same room from 15 months to 3 years; the staff:child ratio is 1:8 rather than 1:4; the room covers age 3 to school age, so some of the children can be up to 18 months older than her; having had a disproportionate number of girls in her age group up until now, suddenly there are a lot more boys (and they are BIG!) These are all legit things which I don't have a problem with (can hardly complain about local demographics after all) but have made a difference to her settling.

The other thing, which nursery now realise was a mistake, was that while she had 'settling-in' trips to pre-school with at least one other child, she was sent up to start properly two days before her best little mate, and was bereft until she turned up on the Thursday. They have two days in common, and to be fair, DD doesn't seem to be any better or worse ont he day her friend isn't it.

The first week was horrendous - the first day she had been crying on and off all day and had bruised eyes by hometime. It's better now, but she is still not happy - another mum asked how she was getting on yesterday, so I turned to her and asked if she liked pre-school, and she just shook her head. She is reluctant to go in the morning, although okay, if subdued when we get there. The staff say she is fine during the day, and I've seen photos of her doing fun stuff and looking happy. She was even okay going back after a week off with chicken pox ... but things are still not quite right. She's also latched on to the idea of school from somewhere, and is incredibly anxious about going to school, and doesn't get it when we tell her it's a LONG time off.

I suppose I just wonder if anyone else's child has been through a similar period, and if it got better on its own? Or if anyone has any tips on how to get her enthusiasm for nursery back? We've just started the process for getting her into school in September 2008, and it's such a lovely school and will be an amazing new phase in her life, I'm just afraid that she will carry on these negatives feelings all the way through the rest of nursery and into school.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
DontCallMeBaby · 10/05/2007 11:39

bump? (I know it's a bit long)

OP posts:
DontCallMeBaby · 10/05/2007 20:45

One last bump and I'll get back in my box.

OP posts:
suzycreamcheese · 10/05/2007 20:56

sorry my thing is abit different..i suspect ds is bored and says things like too many people etc..
and he has only been to pre school full time this term...

can the nursery do more settling in??? one on one with keyworker to reassure? lay out fav activity few days running or something??
do they ask parents to stay and help sometimes? might be nice..
i would just re assure about school, dont worry now etc..

goodluck

SpeckledHen · 10/05/2007 21:02

My dd 4.3 also does 3 days at nursery and is reluctant to go. She much prefers playgroup which is linked to the school she will be attending. I think that tbh the nursery day is quite a long one and there is less mummy input than there is at playgroup. Do you do a local playgroup? Esp one attached to the school your dd will be attending? Think this could provide good intro to school and she might enjoy the short day and the mummy involvement. Just a thought.

DontCallMeBaby · 10/05/2007 21:47

They are long days, Speckled, she's recently started telling us 'that was a long long long time you go away today'. I did consider playgroup for a while, but didn't go through with it as I like to have one scheduled activity a week, and be flexible for the rest of the time. I might consider doing it for at least some of the next school year though.

Suzy, I think I will see how things go and then think about hanging around for a while if nursery will have me. It may be worth a try. I think she might find her feet as she grows into the room, but that could be a while - certainly in September things will be better when the four-year-olds start school (they all start in the autumn term round here, no staggered starting) and by then there will be more up from the previous room.

She has just been invited to a party by one of the four-year-olds AND she wants to go, so it can't be all bad!

Thank you.

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