Post Nursery Blues

[Hildabeast]

My 1yr old is awful with me after nursery, they say she is great all day, which is so undermining. Would not mind but she just cries with me at home on weekends and holidays, but always fine there. Am so low about it and feel it so hard not to take personally. Any help out there?

It feels awful, doesn't it? Same happens will me - ds is 19 months and has been in nursery 3 days a week since he was 8 months. I try to rationalise it by reminding myself that he's tired at the end of the day - and - just like me - probably isn't at his best! I have also been finding he is more difficult with me than dh, grandparents etc at weekends. I think that could also be testing boundaries against mum, and also a matter of my perception of how well he behaves for other people!

This sort of sensible stuff only works when I'm feeling at my best though. I know just how you feel - [virtual hug]!

Thanks for that Gursky, you mentioned perception and I think mine may be warped, but it is so awful to feel the but of it, especially as I teach stroppy teenagers all day!

Glad it's not just me. I get positively scowled at (by a 10 month old for pete's sake!) and then ignored when we get home, no kisses or cuddles, until Daddy gets home when it's smiles galore but only for Daddy!

She is probaly just worn out when she gets home from nursery adn tired and grumpy.
Plus if she is f/t at nursery she is probably used to their routines rather than yours at the weekend.
Don't take it personally.

ds adores his daddy. Always gets a bigger and squealier reaction than I do on coming coming home/into room. [sulk]
After nursery ds is tired and grumpy.
Weekends are fine as long as we get out of the house. Ds likes to be busy (and nursery keeps him busy, so he is used to it too, IYKWIM)

Hildabeast - stroppy teenagers during the day - hmmm, challenging!

I have come home to a bright red and screaming DS and MIL saying 'what a shame when you only have a tiny little bit of time with him...'. Grrrr.

DH is definately the favourite too - probably because he tries to avoid doing sensible things like wiping noses etc.

We all have our moments though - just had a lovely bedtime story time. Those are the moments I try to dwell on.

dd went through a phase of gruesomeness in the evenings (after nursery) a month or so back, but she seems to be over it now - it could be just a short-lived phase.

Do you think you could change the way you look at the situation?

My DS1 always used to do this but I looked at it from a very different angle which is a lot easier to take. He always used to cry and want to be carried around by me a lot. I felt he was hard work. I looked at it like he was crying because I was the most special person in his life so therefore he was using the crying to get attention from me as much as possible because he could not speak yet. As a very young toddler, he used to tantrum with me more than with anyone else. I looked at it like he was being more testing with me because I was the person he trusted the most to experiment with. I don't know if I was right or wrong at the time (although he is nearly 3 now and we have the most lovely relationship) but it doesn't really matter because thinking that at the time made me feel a whole lot better about the crying, draining though it was.

Take it as a compliment (although hard to do at times !).

Your DD is very secure with you and so she feels she can 'play up' and you will still love her.

With nursery she feels that she has to be on her best behavior.

So when she comes home tired and if something has upset her during the day unfortunately you will get the brunt of her behaviour.

But it is because she loves you and feels secure....

Thanks all. Good to know not alone, shouldn't feel glad that someone elses babbe can scream for an hour, but it does help somehow. Am trying hard to be pleased she is happy and secure enough to do this with me!