Quiet los at nursery?

[lelo]

ok never posted before, but read so many convos on MN think i can do it. But feeling a bit wobbly about lo at nursery who is 2 and is quietier/sensitive than when he is at home (he gets overwhelmed by lots of people) and doesnt talk as much when he is there.

He goes 2 or 3 days a week. I hoped it would be good for his confidence cos he will have to get used to being around children at some point (i did do all those music classes, playgroups etc but he did go quiet there too, and now i work pt) . And i really dont think i could face the settling in period again if i were to take him out., He is getting better slowly and is happier / chattier than when he started but its taking ages!

i also get paranoid that the nursery staff interact more with the outgoing los and dont really encourage the quiet ones which surely would make it worse, ie less likely to talk? (although i have no evidence, just anxious).

Just wondering if anyone else out there that has same sort of concerns?

After writing this i feel a bit silly as i see i get so worried about stuff like this!

Hi lelo, you're not silly to worry - you're a mum and that's our job !! Try not to worry too much though about your ds being quiet as with my lot i find this quite normal. Some have settled in to nursery with no prob and others have taken a while. Remember that nursery is a bit stricter than playgroup/music classes to get LOs used to a school setting and it seems like he is just settling in. Maybe you can stay around to help for one session so you can see how the staff interact with all the children, most nurseries I'm sure appreciate the help. This put my mind at ease with my last 2 who have recently started. xx

HI crazylazy thanks for response first one on here yay!
I would love to hang around and help for a day, but bit worried he would be more attached to me and upset the days Im not there. Good idea though will think about doing it.

He was doing really well (been there 6 months!) then i took him out for a month for hols and some staff changed and aaargh had to start the settling bit all over again. pretty draining.
Now i kind of look through the window sometimes and watch whats going on for a little bit to see what is going on - 5 mins here and there he just seems to be playing quietly but contently. havent seen much interaction - but then is only for 30 seconds!

He may be becoming more confident, whilst not being so vocal. One does not prevent the other.
I, in a kind of way that crazylazy has suggested, have stayed behind, hidden, to watch all the children interacting together. I don't believe, in my nursery atleast, that the quiet children are given any less attention.

I love, collecting ds (3) and watching for sometimes 10 minutes, before anyone sees me.

Maybe this would help you.

Soory Lelo, just seen latest post.

Ds is quite a confident boy, but finds it totally unsettling when carers/ rooms change - some children just move up, into a new carer or new room without a second thought. Not ds. Just some more re-assurance and going with the flow of how much comfort they need on leaving / collecting them. Might help.

Re interacting. He is only 2. I was always paranoid, who are his friends, who does he play with. Then, both the carers and the nursery and all my friends and all mumsnetters assured me that children don't really have Friends at this age and interact very little and often only play ALONGSIDE eachother, barely tolerating eachother

Even at age 3. Some of the children ( I mean 3 or 4 out of 7 , have made strong friendships with one particular child. The others couldn't really be bothered. That made me feel better

Please don't worry. Sounds totally normal.

I totally agree with Oblomov & I actually think staff spend more time with the quieter children!

Thank you guys! Oblomov thats great - i think i was wanting the advice of a mum with older children cos you'd know what happens next, ie when friendships really happen. Feel loads better now .

Now just gotto deal with the big problems... like why i feel like a piece of swiss cheese with too many holes.... hahahha

..thats for serious mnetting late at night when i pluck up the courage