No interaction with babies in nursery - am i expecting too much?

[teatree]

Hi,
we started settling in sessions with ds as i will be back at work beginning april and we had two sessions so far. my first impressions were that the nursery is quite good in some sense, nice staff, friendly, good menu etc etc but there is unfortunately no intercation between staff and babies!! there are lots of toys on the floor and walls and ds was amazed by so many different toys. but looking at the babies who were there for a longer period of time, they seemed to be somehow.... bored i think. some babies were walking around with indifferent looks in their eyes, im not sure if this is due to the fact that they are a bbit tired or bored.. as the other negative sign for me was that tired looking babies were just cuddled and staff was talking to them in a friendly caring manner but i would have expected them to pick the baby up and put it into bed/mat etc for a nap. it was obvious that he could not enjoy toys or anything being soo tired..

what do you think? pls comment as this fact has put me soo much off nursery, I started to look for a CM again although i couldnt fine here where i live one.. am i expecting too much from a nursery .. or childcare??
I cannot afford a nanny on my own and its very hard to find nanny share.. pls pls let me know what you think..

I wouldn't leave a baby at a nursery where the staff didn't interact with the children.

Was it the end of the day? maybe you should ask the staff what they actually do - i mean do they have a schedule? or routine of any sort? or are the kids just sort of wandering about all day?

oh dear, doesn't sound very good. how long where you there for? i know dd is often tired when i pick her up. but then i don't want them putting her down for a nap because it puts her off her bed time. so for me it's best if they just cuddle her or give her some quiet time. do they work to each baby's routine or respond as and when or do all the babies follow the same routine?

what time of day was it?
My DDs have been in nursery 3 days a week since they were 8/9 months old. I have been very very happy with it.
However, i do know that just before lunch can be a tricky time as the children are getting hungry/tired (esp in the baby room) and from about 4.30 when parents start to pick up, there are no activities/structure so they just "free play" - plus many of them are getting tired too.

I am lucky i can pick mine up early as i work from home. however, the benefits of nursery for them do outweigh any of these disadvantages imo.

Whatever type of childcare you use, you need to be completely happy with it. There are lots of people who would recommend that you look for a nice childminder (or nanny share) as this has lots of benefits for babies; there will be lots of other people who are equally happy with their nursery choice. (I'm biased because I'm a childminder, of course! )

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Tbh I think this isn?t uncommon, especially as the child-adult ratio for babies is 3/1, so for every adult, there are three babies and it?s just not possible to give them one-one interaction all the time, and obviously as they?re still just babies they?re not able to amuse themselves as older children would so this can lead to the bordom etc.

If it were me I would look for a childminder as this is a far more homely environment for a young baby and at this age there are no benefits to your baby being in a nursery environment. You could always move him to a nursery when he?s older if you wanted him to have more interaction with other children etc.

But what's not clear to me is how many children the childminder is allowed to look after - couldn't the ratio actually work out as worse than 3 to 1 in principle? Or do I have this wrong.

Most childminders don't have the maximum amount they are allowed though, and nurseries do.

I also believe childminders provide a more natural family environment - with different ages of children, and the sort of things families do.

She is unlikely to have 3 babies, for example'/

CM are only allowed one child under the age of 12 months and a total of 3 under 5s I believe.

I have always used cm as I wanted something more homely for my dc and have always been happy with my choice.

It is sometimes the case in a nursery that parents are very clear about what times it is acceptable for their child to sleep between, for example, no later than 3pm or only in the morning. It is the nursery staff's duty to respect these wishes as far as possible and it may well lead to tired less than bouncy children. It was always something I found very hard but you have to respect parent's wishes.

You do have to be 100% comfortable with your childcare choice though teatree and it sounds like at the moment you are not. Interaction between nursery staff and children of all ages is VITAL for all aspects of thier development and if you feel this is lacking in this nursery then it's not the one for your ds.

Just a couple of questions

Have your visits been at the same time of day?

Wil your next visits be at the same time?

Can you change your visit times to see how the room works at other times of the day?

This may help you to make up your mind completely.

Good luck

hi girls, thanks very much for all your input.
Obviously the hours i was there is crucial, i should have mentioned in my first text:
10.30-11.30am
2.30-3.30 pm
these were the times i was there and observed the same situation.
I do appreciate that parents dont want babies not being put down after certain times (i.e. I asked them to make sure ds has a nap not later than 4pm, which is 5pm now as the clocks changed) but I cannot imagine any parent who asked them to keep baby awake around 2.30.. as most babies go to bed after 6pm as far as i know..

malaleche,
as mentioned before it was before lunchtime and at 2.30-3.30pm in the afternoon. I asked the staff, apparently they have a routine, morning breakfast, nappy change, then a bit of an activity, then lunch at 11.30, some babies nap after lunch, then around 3.30 they have a snack and nappy change.. that seems to be it.
I will be there 10-11am tomorrow and hope to see some activity and will ask for a specific routine timetable thing if they can provide and will try to have the settling in sessions whenever activities are supposed to happen.. I asked the keyworker what their activity was that day as i turned up at 10.30am, she said she was out and didnt know.. which made me doubt they had anything at all.. not sure, maybe im too suspicious...

hi bizzydint,
i was there 1hr sessions two times in a week. it looked all the same to me. they said they follow each babies routine to start with until they adopt themselves to the routine that is on in the base room.

hi amidaiwish,
lucky you that you are happy with your nursery, felt jealous immediately
i really hope i find something suitable for ds asap otherwise i dont know how i can start work at all..
as an experienced mum in nursery childcare, what do you think are the advantages that outweigh the disatvantages? as i can really not see clearly now through all this childcare thing..

I don't agree with nursery for babies under 12mths as the majority of nurseries simply don't have the staff to give the babies the care they deserve or the facilities for them to have a nice peaceful sleep.

I'd look for a childminder.

Teatree - the nursery my Ds goes to has daily and weekly planners on the wall which outline the activities the children will do, which skills they are working on etc - my Ds is still too young to be involved in them (he is 8mo and the youngest in the nursery) but so far he has 'made' me a Valentines card (with his handprints on), Mothers Day card and a heart-shaped biscuit (so sweet!) so they obviously do involve him in the activities even if it is just sitting there watching.

I also get a daily report of what he has been doing that day.

One day I had to pick him up early cos he was ill and it was teatime (they have tea at 3) - DS is still not eating solids properly but he was sat in a bumbo round the table with the older children - which I thought was a nice touch.

So, I guess what I am trying to say in a rambling way is that you have to feel comfortable with the nursery and if they cannot show you what activities they have planned or cannot tell you what your lo has been doing, I would think twice about using it.

I better respond alltogether to the questions now as i missed to respond during weekend -inlaws were here for a visit..

Our sessions were just 1hr sessions each , two times. The nursery is not very keen to have totally different hours, they tempt to make the sessions around 10-11.30am and 2-3.30pm and dont want settling in sessions any other times. shall i push for different hours? it seems like before 10 is only breakfast/nappy change and apparently some activity, after 11.30 is lunch and nap for some.. and after 3.30 they have a snack/tea and i can understand that after 4 its pick-up time for most and it is ok to see them grumpy and bored by that time.

I need to thank you all for your ideas/inputs / questions. it clearly shows that my expectation is not too high and there really should be some interaction. i have started to look for a cm around my office area now that i think it might be a better option for his age.. and will continue settling in sessions as i might not be able to find a cm on time as i start work soon. i will do some more observations and let you know.

you have to feel completely comfortable with a nursery. my ds went from 6 months, just 2.5 days a week, but when i was unhappy with the care he received i moved him to one where i was happy, and have gone on to recommend his current nursery to loads of people

My ds is in a nursery and has been since he was 6 months. They have lots of interaction with the babies and toddlers.

I think you should go with your gut instinct here and avoid this place abut dont let it put you off all nurseries...some are fab.

You are defo not expecting too much from a nursery to want interaction, sleep areas etc. Are there any others in your area you could use?

yes, you should be able to visit at whatever time you wish, my nursery ask prospective parents to avoid lunchtime/teatime but other than that they are welcome to drop in whenever, i called in on different days and at different times to make sure they weren't 'putting it on' for my benefit

Hi, as a former baby room manager in a nursery I would expect to see lots of interactioon with babies throughout the day - chatting to them, singing, playing with them etc as well as at least one more structured activity - even if its something the really little ones sit in bouncy chairs etc and watch while the older ones join in, with a couple a week suitable from when babies can first grasp toys and pay a little attention etc - ie treasure basket, rhyme time with shakers/rattles/instuments, in summer stuff like sitting them in a bowl of water/pool or whatever available and having water play.

When choosing childcare I would definately follow my instincts - there is a huge difference between a well run baby room and a not so well run one - most obviously look at the happiness of the children

and as was mentioned earlier - with a ratio of 3 children to each staff member it is sometimes not physically possible to cuddle with all upset children at once, but they should be getting attention of some sort - ie being spoklen to calmly etc to try and cheer them.

hi ceebee74
the nursery you describe sounds pretty good to me, i cannot imagine they do activities as such in this nursery (leapfrog)- not for the younger ones anyway. ds will be in the baby room which is up to 16 or 18 months and then be moved into the other group (16/18 mnts+ ) when they think he is ready. I was in those rooms as well, and i saw lots of activities there tbh. but nothing in the baby room unfortunately.
it is a good idea to ask for a daily or weekly planner, thanks .

hi katylou25
this is exactly what i am expecting from a nursery! Thanks very much! I really do not expect them to cuddle every baby all the time, i want ds - and all the babies - to enjoy time there and learn something too. I can see how bored ds will be once he has gone through all the toys a few times.

what struck me - and my husband- was that ds wa the only really happy looking baby on our first visit. obviously ds was keen on putting hands on every toy there.