Nursery and Potty Training

[catinpajamas]

DS is just over 2.5. His nursery takes children from 0 - 5. He is in the toddler room (2-3 year olds). Nursery strongly suggested we start potty training seriously about 7 weeks ago (it had been very lightly suggested before). We started straight away but after a week it was clear it wasn't working. We said we were going to have a break and took him back in in nappies. On collection he was in pants and we were told he'd had an amazing day.

We therefore felt we had to continue potty training the way nursery wanted. We haven't wanted to confuse DS. However, after a very difficult weekend we put him back in nappies. I explained to nursery and they again put him back in pants.

We have raised concerns over their approach to potty training at least four times now (outside of their refusal to use nappies). On the last occasion I was told that we were the problem as he has no problems at nursery - although they still gave me all his wet and dirty clothes from the session .

We are now at an impasse. I have tried talking to nursery but they are behaving very arrogantly and don't appear to want to work with us on this issue. It's their way or the highway it seems. It has also made me question other aspects of their nursery care. DS has been saying for months that he doesn't want to go to nursery . Do they not listen to the children as well as parents?

Would you expect nursery to work with you on potty training? For example: agree to a break if you, the parent, request it. To be clear I wasn't thinking of a break lasting months - just a week or two, try again for 3-4 days, if no success, have another week or twos break and keep trying.

Or is nursery's approach fine and just one of those things. At this rate I feel that we are close to relationship breakdown. I wasn't expecting to have to fight with nursery over potty training - is this usual?

Nursery are supposed to support and work with you. I would Google information on is your child ready to potty train and see how much fits with your child. Id then want a time when its going to work for you no point for example doing it this weekend if nest week your off to a major family wedding or having work done at home meaning your at granny's on her brand new carpet.
Id then go in and ask to speak to the key worker and go through the information you have reminding them that you are the child's foremost educator and you are supposed to agree plans for your child's learning and work together.
Some children are read at 2 some at 2 and a a half and some over 3 its an individual developmental thing like other areas of development.

I was going to say that sometimes children are better at using the toilet at nursery/home and not at the other, but if they are sending home wet and dirty clothes every day, it doesn't sound like he's really got it there. They should definitely work with you. Ask for a meeting to discuss the way forwards. Leaving a hold to wet and soil themselves is not toilet training. If he has shown them other signs, like asking to use the toilet, telling them immediately if he has an accident etc, then he may be ready with a bit of encouragement.

I would not be happy!! As both a parent and a nursery worker I have a little insight. I would go above the room and speak to the manager!