refusing lunch

[amidaiwish]

My DD1 goes to nursery, has been going since she was 9 months old (now nearly 3) and is overally very happy there.
In the last month or so she has started to consistently refuse lunch. Just pushes the plate away and has a tantrum or pretends to be falling asleep! This is very out of character for her... Then of course has no energy all afternoon and wants to lie about. Nursery is trying to cajole her, but she seems to be getting worse. Any advice?

anyone???

3 year olds can be rather fussy at times. Is she refusing all food, or just main course? How about morning snack? What does she say when you talk to her about this - does she not like the food? Does she not like the way in which it is presented, or perhaps something to do with other children at the same table, or new members of staff.

Any trouble with eating at home? I expect this may happen only at nursery... so make sure she has a big breakfast, and encourage her to eat lunch by rewarding her for a good lunch report, with perhaps her favourite desert for tea/supper.

thanks nannynick
she has breakfast no problem (either at home or nursery depending on how late dh is!) then morning snack fine and tea she always eats lots of. It is just lunch. It seems to be getting worse, she refuses to even try it even if i know it is something she likes (like yesterday shepherds pie). she rarely has dessert either but to be fair that is often something she doesn't like, like peaches / rice pudding etc etc..

i have been saying to her that it is very important she at least tries the lunch and if she does she will get a treat when we get home. The first thing she says to me when i pick her up is "i ate my tea..." glee, or "i didn't eat my lunch" - with a crestfallen face.

It's more the tantrums at lunchtime which concern me as it's quite out of character. Plus having no energy all afternoon isn't exactly how i want her to be enjoying her day.

is she not eating lunch at nursery?
if so it is surprising cos the other children eating generlaly encourages eating. I spect the nursery will find a way of encouraging her. Perhaps smaller portions? Or may be she isjust making a stand? showing her individuality, bless her

yes i think she is making a point as she must be hungry. On a monday she doesn't get to nursery til 11 as she has swimming lessons first, so she gets to nursery having had breakfast at 8, then swimming and no snacks etc... And then refuses lunch. very odd!

Sounds like you are doing your best at home. With luck nursery will be able to convince her to eat something eventually - she won't starve as she is eating all other meals. Has her keyworker mentioned anything that they feel could have caused this change? Is your DDs keyworker communicating with you regularly regarding what they are trying.

yesterday was better - i had talked to her in the morning and said she didn't have to eat lunch if she didn't want to, but she did have to behave nicely regardless. So, she had to sit at the table while the other children were eating. I told nursery that was my plan and they thought it was a good one.

When i picked her up yesterday they said she had been really good and although she hadn't eaten much she tried everything (including rice which she never eats!) and was good as gold. so hopefully we are getting there!

She is due to change rooms in 2 weeks when she is 3, and i think this will be a good thing. There is one member of staff in the room she is in who is very loud and boisterous and i wonder if she finds her a bit much - she seems happy enough though.

and yes, you're right, she won't starve! tbh i think they get too many snacks at nursery, she doesn't really have that big an appetite and i have to watch the snacks at home. If we go out in the morning and she has say a "babicino" and cookie/croissant, there is no way she wants lunch.

i have said to them to hold back with her on the "breadsticks and cheese" type snacks, don't let her have too much, but when they have fresh fruit that is fine.