Need to leave at 7, childcare not open until 7:30...

[ElphabaTheGreen]

Hi all.

DH will be working away three days a week, every week from next year. My working hours are 8-4, and I have to leave home at 7am to get to work on time, so DH drops our DCs off at nursery and breakfast club, both of which open at 7:30.

The only way I can change my working hours to accommodate this is to use annual leave, which doesn't really appeal. I can't work later to make up for lost hours in the morning.

We don't have family, friends or neighbours who can take over the drop off to enable me to still leave at 7am.

WIBU to ask the girls in DS2's nursery to see if we could pay one/some of them to cover the 7am-7:30 gap and take them in for me, or is this cheeky? The nursery is close to our home and most of the nursery girls live very locally. Or are there alternative childcare services available that would cover this (pitifully short and awkward but crucial) period of time? We're in the Greater Manchester area if this helps you point me in the right direction.

Thanks in advance!

OP, MaryField is making an exceptionally valid and relevant point:

At the moment Dp sorts the DC out in the mornings, why wouldn't it be his responsibility to find a solution as it is he who is upsetting the routine?

Why are you the one sorting this out? How did this become your monkey?

Definitely ask the nursery staff - they can only say no.

Alternatively - childminder or local older teen as a babysitting job?

If you're in gr Manchester, the kids planet chain take dc from 7am for an extra £5 a day. I'd see if you could make up the time on the other two days first as that would be the simplest solution.

Oh and leave her be - she's only asked for some ideas.

I wouldn't get in for 8:30. Remember it's TWO drop offs I have to do, about 15 minutes apart. So I'd get the first one dropped off at 7:30, next one dropped off at 7:45 at the earliest. With the build up in traffic by that time, compared with leaving at 7am, the very earliest I'd get into work is 8:50, but it has always been 9am in the odd occasions I've had to do it in the past.

I work for the NHS and they are brilliantly flexible, but I only get half an hour for lunch and I really need that sit-down, wee and a brain-break! I do work through lunch now to make up some of the lost time when we're in that situation but doing that three days a week, every week would be too much.

What makes you system her dh isn't also working on a solution? Perhaps he is speaking to childminders whilst she explores the nursery option. Stop making assumptions. Or perhaps she said "dh, I will ask on Mn if anyone else has been able to organise that kind of thing with nursery". Price perhaps he is working abroad. He could be in Afghanistan for all you know. Wind your necks in.

Thank you 2014newme. Exactly. He's not in Afghanistan, but it's almost as unavoidable.

Might an au pair be an option? Or local childminder.

I agree with the negativity boggling the mind here too. YADNBU seeing if the nursery might have options. YADNBU seeing if you can find a solution outside of nursery and it is absolutely fine that you help your DH find a solution. People have absolutely no reason to be outraged that you are doing any of this.

Quite a few of the girls at our nursery do some extra bits for parents, one does early mornings for a family, walks the older ones to breakfast club at quarter to eight and then brings the youngest in to nursery, does breakfast for all three too as parents both leave early. Know some do evenings too, taking them home and doing the bath and bed routine a day or two a week. Nursery want to know who is doing what for which family as hey have rules about poaching the staff, but are very happy for them to do wrap around care. The children get a nanny they know and like. And you get someone DBS checked with first aid certificates who you know and whom the nursery can vouch for. Can workreally well.

Possibly OP as a Mumsnet member thought she might get some constructive ideas on here?

I had this issue but I was a single parent. A local girl was studying her NNEB at college and she came to the house at 6.30, got the DCs ready for school, took them to childminder at 8 and was still at college for 9am. She was well rewarded and got a great reference and my kids were smarter with tidier hair than they ever were when I did mornings.

My issue wasn't so much working hours, but time of commute.

It's worth asking- when our children were in nursery, a couple of the women there did do babysitting as a private arrangement. The school drop off complicates things though.

Otherwise you might need a childminder.

I hope your H is also helping to find solutions.

I suppos the simplest solution would be to start at 8:30 and reduce your lunch break by 30 mins?

I sympathise, it is an absolute pig trying to find childcare that covers unusual hours.

Some of the responses here are weird. Seems to me you and your DP work as a parenting team and both trying to find a solution to a shared issue is completely normal.

I think asking if one of the staff can come to yours at 7 and then take the DC in together is absolutely fine. Our nursery had a clear policy that it was ok to ask the staff for out of hours help, but it was a private arrangement and completely up to the staff member if they wanted to do it or not and what they charged.

Solutions I can think of - a nursery nurse has child from nursery but you may need to find a childminder that can do the school drop off for you. I also live in greater manchester and there's a facebook page, childminder finder in my area.

There are also nursery's which open from 6am, but again, you'd need a cm or the older child.

You can always ask the nursery, I don't think it is too cheeky to ask, I would do this rather than ask one of the staff directly. Someone might be able to come to your house and then take them both on their way to working in the nursery?
Or otherwise a childminder.

The nursery would not allow them to do this. I wouldn't ask. Get a local childminder for drop offs at school/nursery.

Sorry if it has already been suggested. But what about starting a little later and working through your lunch break?

I think there will be a way.
One of the workers at the nursery might do it. The NHS are a flexible employer and if you go to see HR with your issue, they will give serious consideration to different possibilities, to enable it to work for you and them.

Given your tight time scales etc, then YOU will need to be a bit flexible too -compromises will be necessary. So, a shorter lunch might not be what you'd like, but it might be the only way. Having said that, I expect the NHS insist on a minimum break anyway.

As said previously - some nurseries don't allow to babysit for parents

Or work as a nanny if they leave nursery

But seems girls there do bs so seems obvious answer to ask nursery if they object

Then ask girls

Tho problem I see is if the nursery opens at 730 then staff need to be there then - which they couldn't be if dropping off at breakfast club at school at 745?

A cm prob wouldn't want to do this as youngest will take up space for 5 and under for 30m so wouldn't be able to have a full timer in - plus need to find one that does your school

Are there any mums you can ask a serious big favour and bribe with wine and flowers that you can drop eldest off at their home at 7 and friends mum takes to school

And then just nursery cover to find - ideally a nursery worker

An au pair would cost least 80/100 a week plus be in your home all the time which isn't needed

What happens in holidays. Who has school age child?

I don't see why it would be a problem to ask, they might say no but the answer is a no if you don't ask!

I don't suppose you've got a handy student nearby who might be persuaded to do the drop offs early for a tenner a day? Or can you fit in an au pair?

My DSS used to get taken to school early by one of the teachers as he lived bloody miles away from school. Different situation I know but it was only by asking that his mum was able to sort something.

FWIW, an hour three morning a week is 150 odd hours over the year. As OP is clearly pro-rata what makes you think a) she'd have the holiday to be able to cover it; b) that her boss would be happy with it; c) that she doesn't want to use her holiday for some actual proper time off?

c) that she doesn't want to use her holiday for some actual proper time off?

Indeed- or need to save it to cover school holidays.

Sorry, haven't read the whole thread so don't know if anyone has already suggested this: I had a colleague who had a similar problem - she had a 90 minute drive to work and it didn't fit with the hours of the nursery near her home - so she found a nursery near to work and brought the little one in the car with her - not ideal, but at least it took the time pressure off her and saved her three hours of childcare fees per day!

I had similar situation where one of the private nursery staff picked mine up twice a week from home at 7 for. 7.30 start so that I cd head straight for work.
We had no problems at all. She was glad of the extra money, DC loved her and it was more or less on her way anyway. I used to pay her £15 per week (nursery about 1.5 miles away - but in 'wrong' direction for me).

Some childcare settings don't allow this, some do. My current one doesn't and previous one did.
Anyway, no harm in asking.

BLondes - an au pair might be £100 a week, but if OP then saves all breakfast and afterschool club fees, plus a few hours nursery fees if you get ones dropped 9am then it would make it around even. Plus then in holidays au pair around if they need holiday clubs which usually only open 10-4pm so could cover 7-10, and 4-5/6 pm those three days for example