Nursery and the Reluctant Child - what would you do?

[Pruni]

Message withdrawn

Why doesn't he like going on the bus? Can you find that out?
Do they go somewhere first and then get on the bus?

Message withdrawn

hi...i am mum to 2.5 yr old bright,clever but shy and sensitive ( prone to quick meltdown due to anxiety rather than bad behaviour). He recnetly started nursery (since mid jan 2007). He has so far not settled in properly. The nursery took a wrong approach to his separation anxiety by saying he is controlling maipulative child and therefore reprimanding him by taking him into a cloakroom (which my son perceives as naughty corner) whenver he got upset there.....This has really made my son super anxious and phobic of the whole thing. But the nursery rather thn admiting this, started scarring us saying that my son needs at tender age of 2.5yrs help from pshychologist, otherwise bright and clever as he is, the anxietry is really going prevent him from achieving things in future..... we spoke about this to 2 diff doctor friends of ours. Both convinces us that our son does not need any pshychological intervention....
i am deeply upset by the whole thing.....i dont know whether i should pull him out of there and start him at another place....my son will have to do the bonding all over again (he has bonded very well with one of the caretaker there but they find this bond upsetting claiming that he is "clingy" to her.
I also worry that what if the new place are just as bad or mess my son up....the whole experience has made me very sceptical of Nurseries now....but my son needs the social exposure....

sorry for rambling on....its just that i am deeply upset by the whole thing.....any advice will be well appreciated.

It's horrid isn't it? My DD was very similar (once had to leave with her shouting "don't leave me mummy, I promise I'll be good" down the corridor...)
IMO his behaviour is completely normal and the nurseries response is not.
DD is now 3.3 and simply loves pre-school and can't get enough of it.
But don't beat yourself up about it. If you'd rather he didn't go to nursery alone, just take him to lots of toddler groups and stuff and he'll get plenty of exposure to other kids.
You won't get any peace but that's another matter...

Ds1 started nursery mid Jan. At first he LOVED it. He'd been to a feeder pre-school 3 days a week before that and a creche and lots of playgroups and the creche before that.
Since mid Feb he's kicked up a stink about going every morning (does 2.5 hours each day), but is generally fine once there and walking in.
Had a parent/teacher thing last week and discovered that he has at least one episode of tears every day and cannot explain why (speech way behind all the others). Feel desperately sorry for him as clearly he hasn't settled yet, whereas everywhere else he has and easily too.
I do insist he goes every day, though, otherwise I think it'll just teach him that if he fusses enough he can avoid it. I just try and balance it out with other stuff he does want to do at the moment.
He keeps asking for creche which I assume is because there's no pressure and he can play without it being an educational opprtunity. Have resolved to take him to a soft play session once a week (first one tomorrow) and have also recently started taking him back to creche twice a week. I also try and meet up with some of his peers so he can play too, but those can't always be relied on to happen.
Hope some of that helps you decide what to do. It mkes me feel terrible.

God N1A, that sounds terrible. If I were you I'd do ask around and look for another nursery - they fail on numerous points but what happens if they make another error of judgement and refuse to take respoinsibility?

and if your son hasn't really settled then another move sooner rather than later will be for the best.

I'm trying to settle my son (same age) into a Montessori nursey where all of his toddler group friends are but it's taking some time. The nursery told me to come with him for an hour everyday so he gets used to it as a play environment and they are letting me do it for as long as he needs, free of charge. Luckily I don't have a full time job yet too so I can do this. He is still not happy with me out of sight though. They have talked about 'biting the bullit' and just even going to the shops and letting them soothe him but I'm not sure if I'll be more upset than him!

I'm going to post on here about tips for easing him in.

How are things going with the bus Pruni?