can anyone reassure me?

[elizadoolittle]

Hello, I'm a newbie here. Back to work on Monday three days a week and my 11mo ds will be going to a lovely nursery that we're very happy with. Stupid question but can anyone with similar experience reassure me that it's going to be ok?? We had 4 settling-in sessions last week, 1 I stayed 15 mins, left 15 mins, 2 I left for 1 hour, 3 I left for 3 hours and 4 I left for 3 hours. During the long sessions he had a little sleep, which I thought was a miracle. Friday he was very upset, and cried for most of the 3 hours so I am very stressed about the whole thing, worried he's going to be distraught, questioning all the decisions I've made since he was born. He is still bf morning and night and once in the day. Was trying to cut the daytime thinking it would be easier for him when I'm not there. Anyone still bf at this age with a baby in nursery?
There's no question I have to go back to work and this is the best childcare option where we live.
Please help, I'm in tears all the time!

eliza cant really help, not my experience, but incase someone else can..bump

Hello Eliza,
It will be difficult at first but BF your baby is a lovely way to bond and spend time with him when you have to work. My dd started nursery full time at 8 months, she's very much a mummy's girl and there was a lot of crying when I left at first, but soon, when I looked back in through the window the tears would be gone and she was playing happily. Now at 11 months she puts her arms out to the staff and squeaks excitedly when we arrive. It did take a while, but it's just adjusting to a new set of significant people- which is an important skill for any baby to learn IMO. As for the BF, DD refuses all formula at nursery and thrives on BF morning and evening and the occasional bottle from DP. Hope this helps, I cried and cried for the first few weeks, but looking back it was so much worse for me than DD.

I think it sounds like your ds is doing well, better than my dd anyway! The 1st time I left her the nursery had to call me after 30 mins to come back as she had worked herself up into such a state the staff couldn't calm her down.

It took a week of settling sessions but we never looked back after that. She's at a new nursery now, aged 2.9 and she loves it. it's also done her the world of good she's a quiet soul and nursery has given her much more confidence socially, it's the best thing we ever did for her.

thanks all for your kind words, and I am reassured. I know that we have to be prepared for things to take some time. I just hate to think of him being unhappy! Jo, does my settling-in schedule sound very quick to you? I felt happy with it till Friday. He's not spent much time with anyone else as we have no family where we live. It helps to know they all settle in the end... Thanks again.

Thanks Jo. I've chatted to the staff and the manager, and they're all lovely. Experienced, friendly and honest so I'm very happy with the choice. I guess it's a very emotional time and tbh I'd happier if he was 6 months older but we're making the best compromise we can given that we need a roof over our heads!

Eliza you and me are in the same boat. My ds started nursery last week, have only done short settling sessions so far. He's done pretty well considering, but I felt so awful this morning as he cried when I dropped him off - I think over the weekend he had forgotten about nursery and thought he wouldn't be going back. I do know he'll be fine in the end but at the moment it's torturing me and my DH! Hang in there, it will work out fine for you as well.

Hi Fluffy
hope today went ok for you. ds had a very good day considering, dh was very tearful as he dropped him off though! Feel better about the whole thing now; I know there'll be down days but at least we've got going. All best to you