Should I be cross about this? (I am)

[Monkeybar]

My ds is 16 months and has been at nursery since 9 months. I have always been happy that he is happy there, he goes in without fuss and is smiley when I go to collect him. I get a daily 'report' on what he's done, how many nappy changes, sleeps, food etc. and what time he had a bottle of milk and how much he drank. Anyway, yesterday and today it said bottle time 3pm, 0oz. Yesterday I wondered if I'd misread or something, but as it was the same today, I rang and asked what it meant. I was told that they had been putting his bottle on the table in front of him at snack time to encourage him to drink it himself (I always still give it to him in the classic laid back position!). He obviously hasn't done it himself, so hasn't had any milk at nursery.
I am cross because I don't think it is up to the nursery staff to decide when it is time for my ds to not have his milk cuddled in and I think I should have been told that they were going to do this. If they'd told me verbally when I collected him that he hadn't had any milk because they wanted him to do it himself, then I could've told them that I was happy for him to still have his milk cuddled in. As it is, I feel that I should ask them to give him a bottle half an hour or so before snack time tomorrow, so that he can have both, rather than either/or.
Am I right to feel cross, or should I let them get on with it as he is one of many and they can't give him the same level of attention now that he is one of the older ones in the baby room, as their are youngsters who need the staff more.

yep, i would have been annoyed. I think any change in his routine, especially around something as findamental as feeding, should have been discussed with you first. I would take it up with whoever is in charge of that room in the first instance. I would be looking fir them to take on board my concern and offer reassurances that this would not happen again without prior consultation with me.

tbh, I wouln't have been cross but DS was doing his own bottles at that age. Cant imagine him letting me still feed him like that.

I am surprised they didn't discuss this with you first as this is a fundamental part of his routine and it is up to you to decide when he should be weaned off parts of it. I would have a chat with the room leader or his key worker and explain how you feel and what issues you have with it and talk through their concerns and where they are coming from with the new position. At the same time make it clear that anything else likes this should be discussed with you first. The whole idea when they are this age should be a parent nursery partnership to ensure that your childs care is as close to that received at home to make sure they are not getting any confused messages etc.

iPod, I've just had an image of your very capable 16m ds going to the fridge, doing his own bottle and sticking it in the micro!
You've now made me feel that my ds shouldn't still be having this cuddly bottle time, but tbh I have to grab any chance I get, being at work FT. Maybe I'm babying him because he's my 1st?

ahh dont feel like that - I was working full time till he was 11months and really loved cuddle time but he is just not that kinda boy!!! Really pushed for independence quite early - I think that was to do with nursery tbh.

Actually I have had to tie up the fridge handle as he did, and is still at 21 months, going into the fridge to help himself to juice, milk, cheese, anything really!

He was never lucky enough to have warmed milk - started him on a room temp carton at 5 days old and never heated a bottle in his life!! Cold from fridge in summer!

DS is my first - but I'm a bit laid back aboout most things!

I think the issue should be that the nursery chose to change your DS's routine without your permission......that needs addressing

I'll have a chat with them at nursery tomorrow and see how it goes - always feel a bit awkward with negative things, though.

WHy don't you just ask them why they have changed to putting it on the table at snakc time rather than having "milk time" where he is sitting back drinking milk?

My dd2 is 14 months and takes it herself if she wants it, i'm happy with that as tbh i would rather she drank less milk and more food.

Maybe that is what they are thinking too, that at this age milk is of less importance? Maybe at nursery he is being less interested in the milk so they thought they would just leave it there for him to have if he wants.

But if this is the case, you should have been made aware.

yes i dont blame you. but may be you are cross cos you think they are right?? May be they dont like to tell you or maybe think yu are doing it too?

I do think this is a bit off and should have been dicussed with you before they decided to make this change in routine. But having worked in nurseries for 16 years before having ds (10 of those in unders 2's and the last 5 as head of under 2's)usually between the ages of 12 months and 18 months children are started to be encouraged to use their independence. In this case giving the choice back to the child to whether they want the bottle or not which over months will progress to taking drinks at snack time out of a beaker then eventually a cup.
There are many reasons for encouraging this in a child as independence is a natural step to take the closer they get to those "terrible twos" (have one myself ) When your child moves on from the under 2's area of your nursery the ratios per adult go slightly up and as is the nature of nurseries one to one time is limited, and therefore independence assits a child to get on with things rather than be frustrated and angry.
I know that you are probably saying i dont care this is my child we are talking about but sometimes you have to step back and see the whole picture and remember that the nursery and their workers only have the best interets of your child and all the other children at heart.
Not really sure what im trying to say probably not saying it very well either but just wanted to put another side to the story across.

Thanks for the replies. When I went in on Friday I said I was happy for him to have cuddled in milk and that if was easier for them to give it to him half an hour before snack time then they could do that.
He's a good eater, always has been, but isn't fond of cheese and has recently gone off yoghurts, so I do feel his milk intake is important. He drinks water from a beaker and feeds himself with a spoon, this is his one cuddly tme in the day, he gets it at home and I think my crossness was due to the decision being made without any discussion with me.

I think if I were in your position I would have more of an issue with my son not having any milk because of the change in the way it was offered. I can see where they may be coming from as far as promoting independance but your ds still needs to have his milk. Sounds to me like your nursery had the best intentions, just went about it a bit wrong.

Hope everything is fine now, your boy will soon let you know when he's ready to feed himself his milk, enjoy the cuddlyness while you can!