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Give me success stories about clingy babies settling in nursery

12 replies

fluffyanimal · 27/11/2006 13:23

I'm back to work full time in January and DS will be 10 months. He has a place in a nursery that DH and I like very much, has good recommendations from other mums we know. But I'm worrying already about it. Because we don't have any family nearby, he is only used to being with me or DH, and is especially clingy with me. Needs me to cuddle him to sleep etc. If I leave him with anyone for more than about 5 minutes he gets hysterical. How am I ever going to get him into nursery? Anyone else had this problem and it worked out all right?

OP posts:
fransmom · 27/11/2006 21:25

hi fluffy we kind of had a similar problem, dd wasn't really keen on staying with anyone else so as a result we haven't been out for a while. maybe you could take him to the nursery and stay with him while he gets used to it and above all don't sneak out. if the nursery is as good as everyone says it is (and only your experiences with it will emphasise that for you), they will help you settle him in. i do think that (sorry about jargon) "familiarisation visits" may be a good thing for him and you. hth x

Waswondering · 27/11/2006 21:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Liff · 28/11/2006 13:20

Our DS was 8.5 months old when he started nursery three months ago. Our initial settling in visits went quite badly with both him and me ending up in tears. Our nursery then recommended my DH did the drop off instead of me as he was more used to him leaving. It took a couple of weeks for him to settle but now seems to love it and is much much better at being left with friends and relatives at home too.

fluffyanimal · 28/11/2006 15:42

Thanks all for your reassurance. I will find out about induction; I have plenty of time as his place is from 2nd Jan and I don't go back to work until 22nd.

OP posts:
fransmom · 28/11/2006 21:00

good luck x let us know how you get on.

LaCerbiatta · 29/11/2006 14:26

My dd was 8 months when she started. Like you she spent all her time with me and was (still is!) very clingy. Induction was just 3 days. I wasn't very happy with it and did it for 1 week. First day we both stayed half an hour and then I left her first for an hour and then for longer until full day. It was very hard at the beginning and I could tell she wasn't properly adjusted. The staff were brilliant gave her loads of attention, holding her practically all day! They told she was fine during the day but she was still crying in the morning and in the afternoon when I picked her up. 6 weeks later, on a Monday, there was a turning point. She didn't cry at all in the morning or in the evening and we could tell she was really happy and loving it. But it did take that long!

I think having you dh/dp dropping him off is a great advice. That 's what we did and it made it so much easier! (specially for me!!)

riab · 13/12/2006 12:22

Check out things like sleep tiems and meal times, if you can mirror the nursery routine at home that will be one less adjustment to make. You can also check about taking in a sleeping bag/cuddle blanket to help your DS feel at home.

DS is just starting some half days now and then goes to f/t by the end of january. He is a happy boy and likes other peopel but he does still like to be cuddled before his sleep and needs alot of encouragement to eat. I'm nervous about nursery but hoping he'll settle well after a few weeks. We started with a couple of 1-2hr visits, then half days 2-5 first day, 1-5 today. Then he does mornings then we work up to full days.

Mumpbump · 13/12/2006 12:26

My ds took a while to settle into nursery. I dropped him off the first couple of times (one hour each time) and could hear him howling when I returned to pick him up. It was so much harder leaving him than I had anticipated and I know someone else who found it incredibly difficult. He is very happy there now (except when ill or teething!!) and smiles at the carers when we drop him off.

I said somewhere else the other day that I would strongly recommend sending ds for a couple of morning a few weeks before you start work, if you have time. It probably takes them longer to settle in, but I did this and by the time I was back at work, I was happy that he was settled in rather than spending my time worrying about how he was.

averymerrymonkeymooXmastoyou · 21/12/2006 15:11

I am worried about the same thing, have left DD with my Mum a couple of times and everytime she howls. She is also 10mths and I go back to work on the 17th January

mummynumnum · 21/12/2006 21:22

Know how you feel. Left dd (6mths) with dil/dh last week and she was great. Starts nursery on 2nd and had settling in sessions this week. Hour one was great but long one today was not so good. There were tears and she was crying when got back, although they assured me she was not like this the whole time. broke my heart and v anxious now. Wish could do settling in for longer, but cant as xmas hols next week. Boo hoo!

Jackie2kids · 22/12/2006 12:38

My ds was always clingy and always cried when I left but always settled down and was always playing happily when I picked him up (ie not crying)the staff said he was fine when I'd gone so I just perseveered. It is a horrible feeling though. Now he is 3.6 and still likes to be handed over to someone rather than just left to play but he doesnt cry and loves nursery. Nursery has given him confidence and social skills and hopefully has prepared him for school. DD is 20mnths and never cried at all so all kids are different. Check that he isn't distressed all day and don't take him when he is poorly (obviously) apart from that don't worry. J

blueshoes · 22/12/2006 15:50

fluffy, dd was 11 months when she started nursery. She was still breastfed, rejected bottles, hardly ate solids, had separation anxiety, would only fall asleep with nursing or in moving buggy, co-slept in my bed.

We settled her in very gently. Grandma did the drop-off. Perhaps about 5 mins chatting with carers, then say goodbyes casually, like nothing is wrong, hand to carer to cuddle, then LEAVE. The howling, if any, should stop after a few minutes. The carers will call you anyway, if it goes on for too long. When I pick up, I always peep through the door (out of dd's sight) to make sure she was not crying.

If you are worried about cuddling to sleep, make sure the carers are prepared to do that for your ds.

Dd gradually increased her sessions from a few hours to a few mornings and finally fulltime at 16.5 months. Now at 3.3, she rules the nursery.

You would be amazed. Dd was the last baby I expected to settle at nursery. But she is a different child almost. Less clingy and more adventurous. I think children get very different things from a nursery, like socialisation, activites, which at 10 months, your ds is able to appreciate. hth

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