Help us make some child are decisions?

[Focusfocus]

Hi all,

Thinking ahead a bit - DC1 expected in November this year. Urge are our circumstances -

1. I am a University Lecturer whose work is a 1 hour train journey away but I can work from home. 3 days a week, and on those days have numerous skype conferencing, supervisions, meetings etc. In fact I find it more full on on non commuting days in terms of actual work done.

1. DH is in the IT industry with a fixed hours 9-5 in the opposite direction to where we live (like me, but in the other direction) leaves at 7 returns at 6.

1. We will be doing the new Shared Parental Leave till DC is 6 months old and after that plan for him to go to childcare.

1. We are eligible for about £500 in pre tax childcare vouchers which just about covers (at Midlands rates) 4 half day sessions at a nursery or about 6 hours at a childminder. Of course we are happy to top this up, but are trying to wrap brains around best option.

Personally, after weighing out pros and cons, I prefer a nursery - less dependence on one individual alone (sickness, holidays etc) and I loved the nurseries we have looked at. However, nursery hours are fixed as sessions and these sessions simply make my commuting days very awkward given the single gain to work that leaves on the hour, and nursery also begins on the hour meaning I miss a whole hour waiting for the next train. Drop offs will be my job. Pick ups DH's.

No family around.

In this scenario, what would you suggest? Should we take these questions and go visit some childminders as well as some nurseries? We definitely don't want him to be doing full days at nursery and frankly a 5 hour session is enough for me to trailblaze through work on my work from home days and then make up a bit in the evenings. DH can arrange an afternoon off a week each week as well, and we both plan to make up some hours on Saturday and Sunday. Alternating between us.

I am looking for experience and wisdom from those of you who have been in a similar place, and also advice on when we should start these visits etc. I am currently exactly 4 months done today.

My advice would be to make some plans now - but be (very) aware that things can change after the birth/leave time. For example, might one of you work part-time? Reduced hours? Flexible hours? What do others at your workplaces do? Might you move house so that one of you was nearer their work? Might you be changing jobs soon? What kind of child will you have? You have done really well to have visited some nurseries - they come in all shapes and sizes - mine started really early and finished at 6. You might need to use both a nursery and a childminder - and suck up the cost. You won't be able to work from home and look after a child at the same time! 'Making up a bit in the evenings' may prove really difficult after a full day working and looking after a child - they suck the energy out of you (in a lovely way). Again, working at weekends becomes difficult as you will want to be spending that time with your child or just catching up on other responsibilities. There is a view that full days at nursery are better - your child is clear about where they are and when (ie they will be there until the end of the day when one of you will come and get them), rather than lots of confusing coming and going. Are you in an NCT or similar group? What do others in your locale think/do? Good luck! It is a minefield, but most of us work something out!

Whereabouts are you? Some nurseries have extended hours (eg: 7am to 7pm avail), same with childminders and some are more 8-6... If you're in SW London I can recommend a couple with long hours.

Meant to say that some are set eg: 3 hour sessions and no flexibility and others are more flexible - it really does differ :)