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Nurseries

Find nursery advice from other Mumsnetters on our Nursery forum. For more guidance on early years development, sign up for Mumsnet Ages & Stages emails.

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Original poster

I find this so annoying and will probably get crap for writing this but...m

81 replies

starodyssey2015 · 07/05/2015 11:52

Why is it that it's only over 2 year olds that get 15 hours free childcare a week. I am now a working mother with an 18 month old baby and I don't get this. Whilst people without a job get it!

My friend has a 2 year old and gets 15 hours free nursery a week. She doesn't work. So for four days a week she drops him off at nursery then goes and spends her benefit money going for a Costa and going shopping! Whilst muggings over here is scrimping and scraping so my child can go to nursery so I can work! I can barely afford a Costa! That's with both mine and my boyfriends wage!

I know I'm being childish but I find this totally unfair!

OP posts:

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Original poster

starodyssey2015 · 07/05/2015 13:05

Shut up Rhonda. I haven't insulted her. In fact I say it to her! And she agrees that it's unfair for workers not to get the same entitlement! But she doesn't want to get a job and I'm not the one who will force her into it. Or the one who will hand her in because I'm her friend and she would be in the same situation as me.

She is just an example of the thousands who do that. It's the government that should change this. Not me or her. I wanted to write on here that in annoys me which, unlike benefits, i'm entitled to.

She gets 15000 a year in benefits. If she got a job she wouldn't be earning that. And what a stupid comment saying get rid of the boyfriend.

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Original poster

starodyssey2015 · 07/05/2015 13:06

And she is spending her benefits in Costa. Can show you the proof if you're so inclined.

OP posts:

ArcheryAnnie · 07/05/2015 13:17

She's made her choices, and so have you. Her choices could end up with her in court, and will end up with a CV that has less on it than yours.

If you think she's made better choices than you, then change your own choices. If you think you've made the best choices, then carry on.

If her current financial ease is truly due to fraud, you may as well post that any criminal is getting something for nothing, as they are (except for the risk of getting caught).

ArcheryAnnie · 07/05/2015 13:18

Am wondering, though, if you are a bridge-dweller. How on earth would you have "proof" that she's been to costa? I don't have proof that I've been to costa, and yet I have, on occasion.

Original poster

starodyssey2015 · 07/05/2015 13:19

She sends me pictures. She's got them all on facebook. Posted one about 5 minutes ago actually.

OP posts:

ArcheryAnnie · 07/05/2015 13:21

Then if she's really your friend, and you would like her to remain so, you will think twice before outing her and yourself on this thread.

DarylDixonsDarlin · 07/05/2015 13:22

Anyone else wondering which party the OP has voted for today? spill the beans

ArcheryAnnie · 07/05/2015 13:22

OP - do you think you've made the better choices in your life? Would you really want to make her choices? Would you really want the outcomes she is working towards, even if her current situation is a wonderland of paid-for mojitos and lattes, and yours is of hard work?

iK8 · 07/05/2015 13:24

Wow you're rude and nasty today aren't you op?! There was really no need to be so horrible to Rhonda. As for the other stuff, the early years funding was never designed to be "childcare" its purpose was to provide some of the social education that parents cannot provide at home and was widened to include two year olds who either have additional needs or parents with some additional needs (including for some but not all who are less than competent parents for whatever reason) to help give those children a better chance through early intervention. It is political spin and rhetoric that has dressed it up as childcare and you should use your brain so you don't fall for it.

Early intervention is actually the smarter way of spending our taxes because it is more effective and saves significant money in the future. It also means that when your pfb starts school there's a higher chance your child will get the attention s/he needs because children with medical or social problems should have been identified earlier and have additional help and support in place when they start school.

Now regarding what "your friend" spends her benefit money on I don't give a shiny shit if she does spend it in Costa on coffee and cake. It's not crack and porn is it?

QueenofallIsee · 07/05/2015 13:29

Glad you are not my friend or employee star, you sound slightly unhinged never mind anything else (also wondering what is so wrong with defrosting food from 2 weeks ago, I do it all the time)

SuburbanRhonda · 07/05/2015 13:49

iK8

You're very kind, but I should have expected the response as it fits well with the OP's own description of herself as childish.

Nolim · 07/05/2015 14:28

Now regarding what "your friend" spends her benefit money on I don't give a shiny shit if she does spend it in Costa on coffee and cake. It's not crack and porn is it?

She is no entittled to it, she should no be spending it at all! She should call the council, let them know that there was a change in her situation and learn to live with it.

Original poster

starodyssey2015 · 07/05/2015 15:33

So you think it's okay? Yes I admit that I've now realised I'm on for probably a better future than her but that's all I've learned from today.

Also totally defend my right to be brutally honest to my friend and I will show her exactly what I have written today. I was also never going to 'out her privacy ' just show a picture of the latte, sandwich and scone that she's just bought.

I think I have a right to be bitter that I'm paying taxes every month so people can put their child into nursery and then go enjoy a nice costa every morning when I can't afford to do it because I work for a living, pay my own mortgage and pay for our food.

I said shut up Rhonda because me and her are very good friends. In fact I'm planning on showing her this post and even still, she will probably be in my area. She thinks it's wrong too! I'm blaming the idiots who set up this system because they reward those who don't work and punish those that do.

Why would my friend go to work? She wouldn't even break even. This system doesn't reward those who want to work and let's those that don't get away with it.

OP posts:

Original poster

starodyssey2015 · 07/05/2015 15:36

Just for the record, her boyfriend buys a bag of weed every 2 days on expense of that tax payers. But I'm sure that's okay with you

OP posts:

Original poster

starodyssey2015 · 07/05/2015 15:37

Glad I'm not your friend or employee either Queen

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Original poster

starodyssey2015 · 07/05/2015 15:47

Not sure on my vote by the way. Definitely not UKIP.

OP posts:

nottheOP · 07/05/2015 15:52

I get your point OP but you could put it more eloquently.

Unfortunately it's a flaw in a very complex benefits system. I'm not sure that I could do a better job trying to make the benefits system more fair.

In reality your friend shouldn't feel that comfortable on benefits that she'd rather do that than get a job but how can they reduce the benefits without leaving people without? People are already relying on food banks.

If you are able to afford to pay for childcare and make ends meet, you shouldn't qualify for any help with your childcare bill imo. You do qualify for some free education when they're 3 though.

Original poster

starodyssey2015 · 07/05/2015 16:20

I know I could have, and I should have. Was very annoyed this morning when I'd paid so much for my childcare and getting ready for work and then she sent me a picture of herself going to meet her friends for a few drinks whilst I was struggling. And I am struggling with money.

I got a job so we could have some cash to flash and if anything, we're poorer than before. But I feel I've made my choice and I want my son to grow up knowing his parents provided for him. I know I've been a bit silly writing it on here but I needed to vent to people who don't know me because I don't want to upset anybody.

OP posts:

SuburbanRhonda · 07/05/2015 16:26

I said shut up Rhonda because me and her are very good friends.

No we're not

iK8 · 07/05/2015 16:30

No I don't care what legal things people spend their benefit money on.

If the op's friend is committing benefit fraud then the issue is that she is receiving money she's not entitled to, not what she spends it on! If she was donating it to homeless shelters or toys for sick children in hospital it wouldn't make any difference.

Here's a novel idea op: if your "friend" is committing benefit fraud then encourage her to get her affairs in order or report her yourself. Then you can stop worrying about what she spends her money on.

shitebag · 07/05/2015 16:37

You know what OP I kind of agree.

I had to give up my job (relief hours working around DH) 2 months ago when said husband had a mental breakdown and moved 300 miles away because I wasn't entitled to any help from tax credits or childcare help as I didn't have set hours.

Now I'm on income support I'm told i am entitled to 15 hours free childcare per week for my 2 year old.

I cannot understand for the life of me why I need it more now as a SAHM than if I was to have kept working

Original poster

starodyssey2015 · 07/05/2015 17:51

Me and the girl... obviously not me and you

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SomedayMyPrinceWillCome · 07/05/2015 20:11

Because sadly children of parents on very low income / benefits are more likely to have less opportunities for positive play.
This "childcare" is actually more about providing positive experiences for children who may not have a positive home environment.
Yes, these are massive generalisations & it is frustrating for the rest of us but there it is

shitebag · 07/05/2015 20:27

Personally I think they'd be better off giving some sort of voucher for a class which involves the parent I.e swimming, music, craft, yoga rather than separating the parent from the child.

Yes its nice for us to have a break and all but I just don't get the need for it.

SuburbanRhonda · 07/05/2015 20:54

Obviously

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